


Zeitgeist Of Evil

by Max Rasgar (Tear_U_Apart)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Canon Divergence - cause why the hell not, Dark Humor, F/F, F/M, Mills Certified Sass®, Redemption, SQ Endgame - since anything else is just stupid, Season Two Ep1, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 01:59:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 70,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7488921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tear_U_Apart/pseuds/Max%20Rasgar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if the Wraith had succeeded? What would become of Regina's soul and could it return from that realm? And how will the Savior react to loss of her son's other mother? [S2Ep1 AU]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Outcome

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Own these characters? Pfft! Bitch please! Spin the wheel and buy a vowel and then a clue with your earnings all you legal types. But I do own the original character that appears in this story.
> 
> A/N: My intentions/instructions to you: This is a S2E1 AU/1000% canon divergence deal. There will be no Hook or Hood for the obvious reason that they weren't relevant then. I've despised watching Regina 'pine away' all this time over RH (not exactly what I'd call entertainment.) Moving along, this story will be told in the third person POV (my version of it) and also Regina's POV in the first person all the other times because this is a story devoted to her not anyone else really. So are you game for what I'm offering? If not then you know what to do-stop now. The summary isn't misleading in anyway but I'm also not giving away everything straight out of the gate. What would be the point of writing a story then?

Her body falls lifeless to the floor. The sight is almost reminiscent of an old frayed scarecrow falling off its perch after fending off the crows for too many seasons. But this not quite scarecrow was too well dressed in a distinctly feminine cut pant suit. Tears run from the corners of both of her open eyes and streak down the sides of her face; they're in such abundance that the hair next to her earlobe is already wet and the rest are running into her ears. So much pain in one lifetime shouldn't have been tolerated, but it was and consequently it was engineered and nurtured so that it would flourish. So many people think they knew her story but they didn't, not really. And maybe they haven't earned the right to know how much it truly takes for a good person to become the one thing that they hated most.

Monarchs have their reign and then they pass on to memory. The same goes for rulers of this realm even though Regina Mills wasn't your average ruler in any realm. Therefore it would stand to reason that her death would follow the same course as her life. You see if Destiny and Fate were two persons who sat down to have a chess match the 'Queen'-whether she be Light, Dark or Evil-is the piece that either one hasn't hesitated to put at risk or flat out sacrifice. In the last move of her life Regina Mills got to her feet and faced down her death as the life was sucked out of her. When the Wraith withdrew its long claws taking with it the last spark of life from its intended, its mark faded from Regina's hand. But there wasn't a moment left to savor its meal, the dark cloaked Wraith turned toward the commotion of three people rushing into the building-two women and one man.

Emma Swan knew they were too late. That thing floating in the air had taken its victim-Madam Mayor herself. And now that it had gorged on Regina's soul with a swift turn the Wraith broke through a small window above the holding cell and disappeared into the night; back to where it came from, only with a welcomed baggage. In all of the in the worlds in all the realms all people have one thing in common-they don't really know where the dead go-but the Wraith does and for each soul it's different. It's not so much a question of up or down if one simply followed directions of how to proceed like they'd been given a map. And it's certainly not as uncomplex as Heaven or Hell; mankind over-simplified things far too much as a though it were a reward.

Emma Swan rushes over to the body laying on the cold floor in a jail cell. Her hurried steps are that of someone who expects to save who she's running towards. For a moment the sheriff is struck by how still the mayor is and then her eyes take in the rapidly fading color in Regina's cheeks but Emma's eyes would have to fail her for her to miss the tears flowing down Regina's cheeks. Emma knows that it won't be long before the body begins to decay. Death claims its parcels quick. Her knees almost seem to give out as she kneels down closer to the body. Emma has an overwhelming urge to wipe the tears away, so no one can see how vulnerable the mayor felt in her last breaths. Emma thinks she knows who Regina's last thoughts were of-Henry. And she also thinks that such a proud, angry and damaged woman deserved a better end than this.

But this isn't the end if she has anything to say about it. With hesitant but sure hands the Sheriff reaches out and absently moves the thick, dark hair off the body's clammy forehead. Regina is already starting to feel cool to the touch. Emma thinks she looks peaceful but that's deceiving. She can only imagine what it felt like to have your soul stripped from your body while you're still alive or whatever that thing did to Regina. The thought sends a chill down through the Sheriff's body and makes a home for itself around her heart without permission. It's such an all-encompassing feeling that Emma doesn't notice her parents moving into the jail cell with her and the body.

"Emma...she's gone." Snow White said softly; almost like she was on the verge of tears but in actuality far from it. "We did what we could. We already saved her once today and that's more than she deserved."

The Sheriff is still processing it all. Like the fact that she finally found her parents after all and my God they're fucking fairy tale characters. Too much shit has happened in one day and it all has hit the damn fan.

"You make it sound like things are that simple and cut and dry, when it's not." Emma said as she let her fingers trail through Regina's hair. "This isn't alright."

Sheriff Swan's words were true and honest but not without a conflict of interest too. Her opinions about Regina have shifted so many times in as many months. There was always this pull she felt towards her. She's saved Regina from a fire and an angry mob. One minute it's easy to hate Regina and the next minute Emma couldn't help but be awed by her because the uptight woman has threatened her too many times and doesn't back down. Turns out though that Regina was anything but uptight, just the guarded type like a certain reluctant Savior.

"Emma, she deserved what happened." Prince Charming said with his usual air of righteousness. "Gold did us a favor."

A rigid form of anger settles into the Sheriff's stomach to go with the twisting feeling around her heart. These people are her parents but right now they sound just like all the heartless adopted ones who threw her away when they'd had enough. Emma couldn't stop her next action when she finally gives in and wipes the last stray tears off Regina's face before they can run into her ears like the others. Finally after a few more lingering moments Emma stands and smooths her palms down the sides of her hips. She wasn't trying to wipe off the memory of touching Regina, just the death she felt when she touched her.

"I'm going to find a way to get her back." Emma said as she surveys the damage to her tiny station. "I have to. I made Henry a promise and it's not too late for me to make good on it."

Snow White looks at her newly found daughter thoughtfully before she said, "And how do you plan on getting Regina back?"

"We're going to see Mr. Gold or Rumpelstiltskin or whatever the hell his damned name is." Emma said as she ran a slightly trembling hand through her hair. "He did this for whatever selfish reason he had and he's going to undo it."

The shepherd known as Prince Charming and David Nolan stares at his daughter. He can't believe her compassion towards the enemy. Regina's and Snow's feud had nothing to do with him. In fact it started way before he was ever framed in the picture, but being Snow's True Love he feels as though her struggles are his. And they are in a sense but that doesn't change another fact; Prince Charming really knows nothing about Regina, he only thinks he does.

"No you're not Emma." Prince Charming said. "I watched Snow make the same mistake as you're going to try to do. Regina doesn't get any more chances. Not with us and that includes you."

"You may be my...father but you're not my boss." Emma said with as much fire and vigor as the dead woman lying on the floor managed at times. "I made a promise to my son to protect his other mother and I won't completely fail on it. Henry wanted me to believe in magic and now I do."

The former shepherd is taken aback by his daughter as he should be because he really doesn't know her any more than he knew the woman whose body is lying at his feet. A certain deposed princess from another realm is also equally surprised.

"I know you promised Henry but why?" Snow White pleaded and Prince Charming moves closer and takes her into his arms. "Henry still has you and that's all that should matter."

Emma rolls her eyes at her parents. If she has to do this by herself then she damn well is going to; it won't be the first time. While she understands her parent's feelings about Regina she also thinks that was another lifetime ago in a whole other land. With the curse broken it seems like the best time in the world to let the past go and move the fuck on sometime soon.

"Henry's a kid Mary Margaret and he made a mistake that he's finally realized." Emma said before carefully stepping around Regina's body and then moving past her parents in the jail cell. "You guys can stay here if you want to but I'm going back to Gold's."

Snow White and her Prince Charming marvels at their daughter's well-meaning defiance for a brief moment before following her out of the Sheriff's station that looks like it held an audition for budding anarchists. Who knew that one debt-set Wraith would overturn every desk in sight and tear off the jail cell door off its hinges to get to Regina?

The night air feels like death turned over in its grave and keeps letting out long deep breaths. The cold, gusty wind tore at Emma and her parents as they walk among the scattered ruins that the Wraith left behind when it blew through the town. A silence holds between the three of them and it would have been quiet as a mouse had the wind still not been blowing out its best howling efforts. Emma pulls on the sleeves of her dark red leather jacket in an effort to get a handle on her emotions; showing too much of them has never worked out well for her. Madam Mayor is dead. Regina Mills, Henry's mother is dead. Both thoughts don't sit well with her and she dreads telling her son what's happened. But Emma's certain she can fix it, she feels she has to since she's let Henry down before. Her own personal feelings on the subject have been packaged, shelved and labeled: 'contents under pressure may explode.'

Meanwhile, inside of the rough and dated exterior of Gold's Pawn Shop Rumpelstiltskin is trying to enjoy his tea. The sterling silver tea service doesn't belong to him but then again pretty much nothing in his shop does. Like all pawn shops the items once belonged to someone else and now the objects are merely taking up residence in his collection. Taking a second to recollect on this evenings happening, for a few minutes he actually thought about chasing after Belle but his pride wouldn't allow him to fall victim to such a fawning hero cliché. And honestly Rumpelstiltskin knew she would come back. Then just as the strong tea was soothing his palette the bell over his door dinged out an aggressive entrance. Even a man without foresight could've seen this coming, never mind that a man with the ability to see the future was waiting patiently almost like a good dog does.

"Yet another visit from the reunited 'Charming' family." Rumpelstiltskin said with a frown as he places his tea cup down on the silver serving tray. "I must have done something very bad in a previous life to warrant two visits in less than an hour."

"We were too late." Emma said as she fearlessly strides towards Gold with intent. "Regina's dead and it's your fault and I want your help to get her back."

Snow White and Prince Charming stops and stares once more as their daughter and the Dark One squared away against one another. Even though Mary Margaret and David Nolan have lived in this world for twenty-eight years, their newly awakened selves are both feeling every bit like a stranger in a strange land.

"Why would I help you Sheriff Swan?" Rumpelstiltskin said with a unrepentant grin. "I stand by my previous statement when I said you should thank me. Regina got exactly what she was entitled to for what she did to Belle."

Rumpelstiltskin sounded so justified, indignant even and it was just enough to make Sheriff Swan want to punch him in the face again.

"What is it with you people?" Emma said with the right amount of passion the situation called for. "What makes you think that you have the right to decide when to end someone's life just because they did something to piss you off?"

"Careful dearie, I might decide to take that personally. I did far more creative things to people for far less offenses, Sheriff." Gold said with a sneer. "But since I wish to move past all that I will come by tomorrow and help you arrange Regina's funeral."

"Don't you threaten me you good for nothing slimy bastard." Emma said lowly while making fists with both of her hands. "You're going to come by that station in no less than an hour. Then you're going to use magic to keep Regina's body from rotting or something until you help me get her back. Do you understand me?"

Prince Charming and Snow White clung to one another as they listened to the quiet fire in their daughter's voice. They both are painfully aware that they are just as guilty as Rumpelstiltskin or Regina herself in dispensing what they think is sound judgement. They are no better or worse than Rumpelstiltskin is or the fallen Queen but they think they're better because they think they're on the side of good and good always wins. It seems to not matter in any real way to them that they have questionable secrets like any other person and that they too have caused harm by willful actions no matter how just they seemed at the time. This world, this realm that has been Snow White's and Prince Charming's home for twenty-eight years does not see things so black and white. This realm that they have awoken to embraces the middle and for better or worse it should enable them to stop being so willfully color blind.

"As you wish dearie." Rumpelstiltskin said with a wicked smirk that flashes the small gold cap on one of his lower teeth. "And it goes without saying that if I do this you will owe me another favor."

Emma clenches her teeth at the accusation and her agreement can be see in the gleam in her eyes. Rumpelstiltskin has had several hundreds of years of practice on how to recognize that look.

"Our daughter owes you?" Snow White and Prince Charming said at almost the same time.

"Indeed she does." Rumpelstiltskin said as he moved around from behind one of the glass counters in his shop. All three Charming's noticed that he did so without the use of his expensively ornate black cane and without so much as a limp. "And I'll collect on that one favor so far when I see fit and you two will stay out of it."

Snow and David both frown at the implications of his tone. Emma hasn't seen Gold's true self but they have.

"Be at the Sheriff's station in no less than an hour Gold." Emma said while her parents decided to hold their tongues for once and leave. "And don't bring some sorry half-ass excuse with you. I really have to try here, not just say I did all I could when I know I didn't."

"I'll be there with bells on, Miss Swan."

Emma rolls her eyes and left Gold's shop after her parent's departure with a firm slam of his red door. Then the three of them once more trudge back to the Sheriff's station. The Charming family would have done well to ponder a small dose of truth in the undertones of Rumpelstiltskin's words -not that he could ever be benevolent though- his only real good deed in the future will be because there was no other option other than cutting his hand off. And what a symbol that would've been had Rumpelstiltskin followed through so he could have magic again because all magic comes with a price. But it still remains that villains do not think that what they are doing is bad, it's just what they think is right no matter how self-serving or destructive at the time. So how is being a 'hero' any different? Does the act of saving something, someone or just one's self make all the difference?

But what everyone seems to conveniently forget or fail to retain is that Rumpelstiltskin never does any thing that he won't directly benefit from. Short term memory loss seems to be an innate talent with the man and that's something he is all too aware of. Poor Belle and her misguided affections for a man who is twice her age on the surface but several hundreds of years once you take it skin deep. And poor Regina too for deciding to go head to head with a man who has no conscience or morals past what he believes was just and damn well over due. Besides, Rumpelstiltskin had no further use for the angry woman who was more a puppet than a Queen in his book of judgment anymore.


	2. Regina

For some unknown reason the framed dragon fly print on the wall in my office flashes into my mind. Of all the things to fixate on when there is nothing but a blackout all around me, that is until I hit- what is hopefully a type of ground face first- so hard I bounce. My first breath brings me back around from the burning discomfort in my lungs. I try to open my eyes but they don't want to obey so I force them. But when I manage to take a peek through my lead-weighted eyelids I can't focus on anything. Everything and nothing looks as though I'm seeing it through a dirty lens. My throat burns to a degree that it feels like I haven't tasted water in days. I cough and accidentally suck up some of the dirt I've been planted on. I push up on my hands; my left one burns from that damned mark and my right hand doesn't feel too far off from the other.

After I pull myself up off the dirt and examine my surroundings as my vision clears up all can say is the afterlife doesn't look like much. Imagine a cheap spotlight shining on an empty field that has never been green with grass or seen a single drop of rain. I dust off my blazer and my vest; both look tattered and the third button on my shirt is ripped off. I imagine that I look like a disheveled mess or possibly what Miss Swan would look like after one of her one night stands. Of all the knowledge to acquire from bugging Miss. Blanchard's drafty loft that was something I could've gone the rest of my life not knowing. I wasn't surprised though. It's too quiet here and even though I don't believe in Hell this can't be it, for no other reason that Hell was my damned life before I died and once was enough. I can't and won't go through yet another version of repetitive punishment.

As I'm standing there waiting for something to happen, it finally does, and the ground shifts like I'm on a conveyer belt and then comes to a jarring halt. After I steady myself I see that I'm back in the Sheriff's station in Storybrooke only it's after dark now and all the lights are off, except for the one that can only be coming from the interrogation room. In the stillness I notice I don't have a heart beat anymore and that doesn't surprise me either. I walk with certainty towards the viewing room because I'm not blindly and stupidly walking into that interrogation room without knowing what's waiting in there. My heels echo with every assured step and when I reach for the door knob I turn it without hesitation and walk into the viewing room. What do I have left to lose? I'm dead. The thing that was waiting makes me want to walk right back out of the room and use bleach on my eyes. I won't give them that satisfaction though.

I slam the viewing room door closed with force. The lights from the interrogation room cast enough into the viewing room that no other light is needed. And In the middle of the interrogation room bent over the table is a naked Emma Swan and directly behind her is a sweaty Graham moving behind her. I feel my pulse rise with simmering rage as Rumpelstiltskin called it so long ago. I know this isn't real; it can't be because I'm dead and so is he. Those facts aside though doesn't change the view. Graham's hands move off Emma's breasts and then he grabs her hips and starts fucking her faster. Suddenly there's a faint tone in the room where I'm standing and then the sounds in the next room are mine to be subjected to. Emma's turns her head and looks right at me, I want to punch her in the face again.

Her satisfied smirks have always grated on me like sandpaper on an open wound. But this is too much; I never wanted to see this shit. Grunts and moans fill the air I'm not breathing and then there are the sounds of wet flesh slapping into one another at a rapid pace. Graham pulls Emma up against his wildly thrusting hips as he pounds into her and her broken-moans are in rhythm to the pants and pleas for him to 'fuck her harder'. What a setting for a tryst; the small interrogation room with them facing the one-way mirror, so they can watch their reflections fucking along with them. I grit my teeth together and cross my arms over my chest. For over thirty years I used Graham in the same way he's currently using Emma but she's too stupid to get that. She probably thinks its True Love in the making.

I close my eyes and try to unsee the display of her breasts moving in time to his hard, driving thrusts but the sounds continue to fill my ears. It's as if he's trying to fuck any semblance of silence out of her. 'I need to cum in you.' Graham grunts out and I clasp my hands over both of my ears because I don't want to hear what Emma's response will be. I know what she will say and the thought disgusts me. This place is worse than Hell. Somebody show me where the flame pit furnaces with Lucifer's imps are waiting already. Within a few moments my ears start making that high-pitched tone from the force of my hands pressed so tightly to them to block out the disgusting sounds which I'm sure are still in full swing. Suddenly, as clear as day I see Miss. Swan's self-satisfied smirk in my mind's eye and I'm awash in more fresh rage.

I lower my hands and the sounds rush back in. Skin slapping against skin, low needy grunts from him and the porn-like exaggerated moans from her. I force my eyes open and look at them with every ounce of contempt I can muster. If I had my magic I would incinerate them both where they stand.

"Do you enjoy watching Madam Mayor?" Emma said as she reaches back to place her hand behind Graham's head as he pushed into her even harder. "Because I want you to watch. I don't want you to miss a thing."

Graham makes a face and starts thrusting faster. The rapid wet squishing sound I can't shut out makes me want to vomit and I feel my lip curl up into a sneer. Emma makes a pained face as Graham jerks her hips back into his.

"Oh please Miss Swan, seeing the two of you together remind me of two dogs I caught fucking each other on my front lawn once."

Emma scoffs and then reaches between her legs to pull Graham's cock out of her; the sloppy wet sound was nearly enough to make me gag. She holds on to his glistening erection that is almost dripping with both of their combined juices.

"Now you can see what he does to me." Emma said as she continued to stroke Graham's slick hardness. "He was falling in love with me and I might have been able to love him back. But you ruined it, Madam Mayor."

This is bullshit. I died so I could put up with this!

"Don't flatter yourself Miss Swan." I said with vehemence of a different sort because I this will never phase me the way she thinks. "It was merely an attraction you and Graham; simple lust in its purest form. Seriously, how could you love a man you knew so little about? Oh that's right you felt a connection, how cute but then again I suppose that was your criteria for choosing one night stands. Then from what I saw of you after Graham's death all I could wonder is how could you nurse a broken heart for someone who was an acquaintance at best, but who was your boss in no uncertain terms?"

Graham finally looks at me and then removes his cock from Emma's grasp. The action seems to get her attention being she had just stood there and kept stroking him while smirking at my diatribe. My former plaything is a pathetic sight to me. I wish I hadn't asked him to hunt down Snow White. I do wish I had left him to rot in the Enchanted Forest. I really wish I hadn't let him anywhere near my body, even though it was me who used him for twenty-eight years. Right now though that feels debatable considering how often he came in me and more often than not I was left unsatisfied. My rationale at the time was Graham was the only acceptable option in Storybrooke.

"I can almost hear your thoughts Regina." Emma said as she placed her hand on Graham's cheek to divert his attention from me. "He was waking up. I woke him up from the haze you had him under. He wanted to be a noble man again."

I move my arms off my chest and end up clenching both of my hands into fists so hard that I felt my nails break the skin in my palms. Seeing Emma's naked body is one thing but to hear her spout so much useless crap is more than I can bear for another second that is if the dead even have a sense of time anymore. Emma smirked and then Graham was swallowed up by a darkness that seemed to reach out like hand and pull him in, while her body only appeared to blur but not disappear. Every time I blinked her body seemed to change, as did the scenery until the Sheriff's station was no more. I walked closer on impulse even though the things around me became less clear, but Miss Swan stayed sharply in focus.

"If Graham was so noble and followed through with his obvious stretch of the truth of 'leaving me for himself' then you both wouldn't have been trying to devour one another back at the sheriff's station afterwords." I said while I moved closer to the glass separating me and a now fully clothed Emma complete with her damned red leather jacket of course. "All he wanted to 'feel' Miss Swan was his cock moving inside another vagina whenever and wherever he could get it."

Emma smirks at me again but then disappears as though she magic'd herself away, only without leaving a trace of evidence behind. I knew my mind was playing with me but how was I supposed to know even the dead have a mind that could even be toyed with. I place my hands on the glass and marvel at my transparent reflection. But then as if someone was wiping a slate clean everything disappears and I almost topple over when the room and the glass I was leaning on ceases to exist. Darkness engulfs me and for a second that's all there is. Between the spaces of one blink I'm back in the lighted dirt circle only this time the space is much bigger.

"Do you regret taking his life Regina?" A voice said in an even tone that was too soothing for such a topic and the setting. "Would you undo it if it were an option? Would you give Emma a chance to know the person you stole from her?"

"I regret nothing and what does it matter now?"

"You're right. It doesn't matter but I will tell you what would've happened had you not took his life if you like?"

This is still such utter bullshit. Am I not allowed to even die in peace?

"I didn't want to see Miss Swan having a brief and sordid affair with a co-worker that no doubt would've landed her knocked up for a second time."

The empty space boomed with laughter. I don't find this the least bit funny.

"You are right again but she would have lost the baby this time; it wasn't meant to be the two of them. Graham was supposed to die and would have died along the same time frame even if it wasn't by your hand. The Dark Curse prolonged his life well past its natural term."

I close my eyes and scream on the inside. When the Wraith came for me I was afraid but I still stood up, faced it and let it claim its prize. I thought I wouldn't have to suffer anymore. I thought I was finally done with it all. I thought wrong.

"But enough about Graham." The voice said. "Let's talk about Emma. She could have let you die in that fire and I know that the thought crossed her mind for less than three tenths of second; you saw her face. You remember."

Must we go from one idiotic topic to another? I open my eyes and try with all my will not to let my emotions leak so close to the surface again.

"Of course I remember and I knew it. I wasn't surprised when she left me."

I was of course shocked when she started putting out the fire and came back for me. I didn't want to die that way.

"But you're here now." The voice said and I wanted to cringe from the barely hidden joy I heard. "I've been waiting for you ever since your former teacher marked you with the medallion. But I've been watching you for a very long time."

"And where exactly am I? A porn theater that only plays Miss. Swan's poorest lays?"

"No, but I thought the visual would provoke a reaction from you, it did and it wasn't disappointing."

"What is this place?"

"So much anger, unbridled rage and sadness." The voice said as it seems to move about the empty space around me while ignoring my question. "I would weep for you if that would cleanse your soul but I can't and such a thing won't. Even though your past was complicated and you were groomed by Rumpelstiltskin to be his...monster."

It's finally nice to know that the imp had his own title for me too.

"Many wouldn't hesitate to sympathize with you Regina." The voice continued and I feel a presence settle in front of me. "I do. But don't for one instance think that's even close to pity because I assure you it's not. I find that emotion as equally distasteful as you."

"Are you finished with your posturing yet? I'd like to get on with whatever is in store for me."

"Very well, Regina."

I wait for some sinister laugh; like I would've done to Snow, but it doesn't happen. The ground shifts under my feet again and I wobble for a second. When I regain my footing I notice two black stylishly pointy toed boot clad feet step out of the darkness which is just a twenty foot circle of light in an endless dark. From there my eyes tracked up a medium height body that looked somewhat female but yet not. It was clothed in dark gray pants and a dark gray button up shirt. A knee length black trench coat draped perfectly over its frame. But my eyes widen at the long silvery-ashen hair falling around the tailored shoulders of the coat.

The face is pleasant enough but it's the eyes though that is startling, since they are something no mortal would have even with those dreadfully tacky colored contact lens. Deep violet eyes with a flaming amber veined through the iris stared at back at me; the dominate color reminded me of my magic.

"Why didn't you just leave Storybrooke behind when you left it to adopt Henry?" The figure spoke and I found myself comparing her hair's color to that of a silver wolf's pelt. "You should know by now that victory doesn't really exist. Why even your two favorite people or as you call them 'idiots' will learn that lesson in due time."

"Snow and Charming?" I said with a huff while I tried to dust off the grime on the sleeves of my blazer in the face of the casual elegance the person in front of me displayed. A wasted effort of course since it's not as though my clothes matter anymore. "I seriously doubt that and even if it did happen the idiots such as they are wouldn't recognize it. They only look for the nearest villain to lay the blame on."

The person who has started to appear more female to me laughs and it unsettles me.

"You are actually very amusing but I'm not surprised. The hardships of your life gave you that wicked tongue and at this point I cannot imagine you without your invasive verbal barbs." The woman said as the limited light seemed to follow and adjust to her every small step towards me. "But the statement of yours I find most amusing is the blame scenario. And you aren't one to talk since Snow White is your go to person to slather down with blame."

I try to adjust my torn vest to achieve some sense of order and presence but it's useless. I place my hands on my hips and offer this woman my best glare. I know this place is between realms and my secrets aren't my own anymore but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

"Just who the hell do you think you are?"

The woman smiles and the skin around her eyes crinkles for a moment but then it returns to smooth pale skin.

"You can call me Strife." The woman said as she continued her small, calculated steps towards me. "And I'm here to judge you. To make the last decision on your existence, but being saved, redeemed or damned is up to you."

"Who are you to judge me!"

The woman called Strife grins, "I'm the perfect individual to judge you since I have no bias and because I can. You've spent too much time lamenting about being denied a much sought after yet elusive happy ending. Why? Attaching the notion of your every happiness to the existence of a person is ludicrous. Regina there are people in the world and so many others that find a purpose and validation in their lives that look nothing like the life you think will make you happy."

I inhale sharply because I know exactly what she's seeing and referring to. My first love and how his death started it all for me. But at the same time I know that had it not been for my involvement with Rumple I would've gotten over it in time as much as I could and moved on in the best way possible.

"Alright, I was young I might not have known what I wanted in the long run but it would've been nice to see what would've happened."

Strife smiles and stops just a scant two feet from me. Seeing what is definitely a 'her' now up close is disarming. Books about Goddesses of different realms and times stories springs to mind in regards to her physical appearance.

"Let's say if your mother, Cora hadn't crushed Daniel's heart and you both ran away together then what." Strife said as she slowly started to circle me like a vulture for carrion. "That pipe dream is only feasible if you don't care what tomorrow brings. Love doesn't last Regina. Sometimes the two people in love outgrow one another. If your beloved had lived your life would've been like Jefferson's hovel that you ridiculed so often. I mean who really wants to spend every day of their lives struggling to get by?"

In my heart I know she's right but I would've found a way. My next thought is I do wonder what life would've been like if I had gone to another place to live after I was transported to Maine. Would my life have been better if I had went someplace else where no one knew me and just started over. But that's not the issue at hand.

"No, it wouldn't have been like that with Daniel."

"You can argue with me. You can even call me a liar but I know the truth." Strife said and it was then that I noticed her hands. Long and strong looking fingers that are glowing as if she were conjuring magic. "But if you must fixate on such a single minded pursuit; you met someone that had begun to change your life for the better before the Wraith took you but...you know what perhaps I'll finish that thought another time. So for now how about I show you something-a glimpse, an unmined prospect so to speak."

"I don't give a damn about you showing me anything. My life is over now and I suppose I should just say good riddance already."

"Not yet." Strife said with a grin. "You wanted to get on with as I recall."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You'll see." Strife said before turning away from me. "Oh and Regina this place is just a 'pit stop' as some uncouth mortals would call it and to some more educated ones they call this place purgatory." Strife continued as the circle of light started to shrink around us but she continued walking towards the darkness. "And I was about to show you a little something that goes like this."

Abruptly, I feel the mark on my left hand burn anew and I look down at the fresh misery searing my palm but then to my astonishment it starts to fade. A gradual dull stinging lingers for a few seconds until the once reddened, branded flesh is back to its usual healthy shade. But then I see the darkness is closing in on me from all sides like some well laid trap. There's nowhere to run so I stand there and accept my fate. The last thing I see before the darkness takes me is Strife's long, straight silver cascade of hair down the back of her trench coat. My last thought is I shouldn't find it at all odd that this magical being as chosen to label herself as the very definition of 'struggle and conflict.'

London, England 2004...

"God, you're fucking gorgeous love."

The smell of alcohol, sweat and cheap after shave assault my nose. Not to mention the very sight of the unwashed miscreant in front of me, or in this realm I believe the proper label is aging hipster in too much leather.

"If you say so. But if you don't mind or even if you do I'd like to get back to not being bothered by you."

"Bitch."

I look up from my cell phone to meet his dark blue eyes. They almost look like those icepacks you use in coolers.

"Better that than stooping to being like you, now piss off."

"Whatever." The man said before swaggering off.

I hate riding the tube as it's called here. Leaving Storybrooke three years ago after getting bored with watching the Dark Curse work its same old tired magic day in and day out was one of the best decisions I've made in my life. The biggest incentive for me leaving and my only other good thing I've done is my son, Henry. I've done fine on my own so far and then last year I met Will. I wasn't looking for a partner but I allowed him into my life because he has always tried to make me smile. He's endearing in his own way but I think what won me over the most was he always gave me space and never pushed. His sense of humor is also a plus as is his affinity for books.

When Will confided in me he wasn't from this realm but he isn't from the Enchanted Forest either it was something I took comfort in, for the simple fact that I don't have to keep too many secrets. But I haven't told him who I really am and I don't plan to. My past doesn't seem to matter to him and lately I find myself more than willing to let go of it here. I like to walk home somedays when I don't wear my tallest heels and other days I like to take my Mercedes to work. Those days when I don't take my car it means riding the tube into London. I'm accosted most days on the subway but I don't mind, it keeps me sharp. I don't want to lose my edge even if I become the very definition of a picture perfect happy ending in this world.

Shortly after I first arrived here in London I went to Buckingham Palace. I had to. I wanted to see how royalty lived in this world in person, not just what I'd seen on the internet back in Storybrooke. I find it amusing that the Queen has no real power; she is merely a symbol, and most people in this country have no use for the symbolism anymore. This realm cut its medieval ties hundreds of years ago but I still find amusing that they had one. I wonder what the Enchanted Forest will be like in time. The subway lurches as it stops at the station and more people get on as others leave. And once more I'm aware of my surrounding outside of my thoughts when a young woman sits down beside me. I can hear the music blasting from her earbuds. I have nothing against loud angry rock music, it can be cathartic. I listen to a variety of this world's music.

Will says I should play Pink Floyd's 'Money' while I'm at work since my job is at a bank. Having heard the song several times I get the joke. The young woman next to me moves in her seat while trying to pull her ringing and buzzing cell phone out of her pants pocket. Her thigh rubs against mine and I feel the warmth through my pencil skirt. She looks at the caller I.D. on her phone before answering while she yanks one of the earbuds out and stops the music on her iPod.

"Hullo."

I do enjoy some of the accents in this country. I even find Will's pronounced Cockney accent pleasant.

"The other night wasn't supposed to happen."

I don't want to eavesdrop on the young woman's conversation but what I can I do. She's sitting right beside me and her thigh is still pressed against mine.

"Are you off your trolley? You're married and I don't want to be the other person."

My cell chimes in my hand with a text from Will. I open it and smile at the invitation to dinner he's putting the finishing touches on at our home. I text back that I should be home in another twenty minutes.

"I'm not asking you to choose. Just leave me out of it. Forget about me."

The young woman next to me is getting progressively more upset and I think she is on the verge of crying. She inhales a shaky breath and I'm glad I can't hear what the other person is saying to her but I can hazard a guess.

"I don't want to build a life with you. You cheated with me. And it was just the one time but who's to say you won't do the same thing when you get tired of me if I was stupid enough to..."

I don't catch the rest of that sentence because Will texts me again to say that the nanny expects a raise in salary since Henry is refusing his juice cup at the moment. I chuckle under my breath since it was Will that stayed home with Henry today because it was his day off.

"I'm changing this number. And if you come lookin' for me I'll tell them everything. You understand me?"

I smile at the anger fueling this young woman's words. Good for her. I always found anger therapeutic. Anything is better than being a pathetic sobbing mess; you can do that in private if you have to. I text Will back that I will grant no raise without him going through the proper channels. I expect him to understand the undertones in my message and he doesn't disappoint. Will is a more than capable lover and I'm satisfied enough in that department.

"Fuck off."

The young woman's voice was low and dangerous. Images of my former self in the Enchanted Forest flash to life in my mind, but I quickly force those thoughts away. I miss my magic sometimes even though it's been twenty-one years. It was a part of me, a gift I was born with that I used for ugly purposes. I could've done so much more but it's too late to change the past. The young woman hits the end on the touch screen forcefully and grips her phone tightly. I focus on the sounds of the subway being pulled along the tracks instead of the young woman's attempts to calm herself by taking deep breaths.

"Pardon me, but may I...hold your hand?"

She can't possibly be talking to me but I turn my head to look at her anyway, "Excuse me?"

"I know you heard everything." The young woman said rather sweetly. She has dark golden brown hair and light brown eyes with some dark green mixed in and then there's a darker brown ring that forms a crescent on the outside edge of her iris. "I mean how could you not? And really let's not get into the fact that I've been pressed up against you the entire time."

This is by far the most unusual request I've heard thus far. A need for a simple act of kindness; something I hadn't seen much of in my life. She looks expectant but vulnerable and I can tell she's waiting for me to say no, to reject her. I don't though. I put my cell in the pocket of my trench coat and discretely offer her my hand. She takes it and then I feel her hand shaking.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome but the next stop after this next one is mine so..."

"That's long enough."

Normally I don't have much patience for people who interrupt me. But we're in a public setting and she's actively trying to not draw any more attention. I can tell she's dying to fall apart and she's using me as an anchor to hold herself together. I don't know how I should feel about that.

"You wouldn't happen to be single would you?" The young woman said while staring straight ahead as if we are discussing the weather above ground.

"No, I'm currently seeing someone."

She sighs and I'm glad her hand has stopped trembling, "Figures, I should've known someone like you wasn't available."

"Someone like me?"

"Successful if your clothes are anything to go by, American judging by your accent and let's not forget you're stunningly beautiful and kind."

I've never really cared for compliments but Will has made me come around to them. He has taught me to recognize when they are genuine and not false platitudes to gain something, or that it's just an expected hollow gesture to be extended in certain situations.

"You're very sweet." I said while I continued to gently hold her warm hand. "And if you don't mind me saying this; you did the only sensible thing with ending it before it became more complicated."

"I know. They...I mean she lied to me from the start. It was just harmless flirting until it wasn't."

Lies used to be an instrument I welded frequently in my home realm and certainly in my newest home these last twenty-one years. But since leaving Storybrooke I've started to age and mature past my eternal stalled years. Just as I'm about to say something the subway stops and she let's go of my hand.

"Thank you again but this is my stop."

It's so abrupt. When the young woman stands up not only do I miss the touch of her hand in mine but I miss feeling her body beside mine.

"Take care of yourself."

"I will." She said with a faint smile before replacing her earbud and letting the music, her music flood her thoughts to drown out the newest worries. "Bye."

I offer the young woman a parting smile in return. The subway doors close and I'm left to my own worries; we all carry those around with us every day. My only real worry in this world is what if Henry's birth mother tries to find us one day. But if she does I'll be ready. I know who and what she is. As off-putting as thoughts of Emma Swan are it's my very next worry that's the most unsettling and that's how wrong it feels for me to think of her as a threat. For now though I'm glad this day is almost over with. I'm more than happy to get on with my life with the two people who are waiting for me at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: "Thirteen" by Danzig & "The Guns Of Brixton" by The Clash


	3. My Body Lies

Sheriff Swan sat on the edge of what was once her desk when she was just a Deputy. So much has happened since she made that lonely wish on her twenty-eighth birthday but now isn't the time to reflect on the past. Emma watches Gold closely from her vantage point as he stoops down to examine Regina's body. He's a shady, well-dressed small business man whose suit looks like something a New York stock broker would wear, not a pawn shop owner. Emma noticed earlier there aren't any smells yet and the body didn't release the contents of its bowels; when most living things dies all the muscles in the body just let go not unlike a skydiver jumping from a plane. You're just one breath away from leaving behind all the trappings of a tedious existence before embracing the liberation of freefall.

Mary Margaret and David hover by their daughter's side; they both don't want to be near the body because it makes them uncomfortable. It's been a few hours now since the Wraith came to claim its prize. Regina's body has lain on the floor in the jail cell the entire time and her once warm brown eyes are completely black now due to the pupils being fully dilated. Rumpelstiltskin thought death looked good on his former student and puppet. A puppet he never even had to remove the heart from to control. Mr. Gold smirks down at the corpse while he uses his fingertips to close Regina's eyes which have stayed open to see everything and nothing.

"It would appear you didn't need my help after all." Gold said while withdrawing his fingertips from where they faintly touched Regina's now closed eyelids. His satisfied smirk quickly falls off his face at his recent and rather unsuspected discovery. "This is quite a feat from an amateur though."

"What are you talking about?" Mary Margaret said with a frown.

"Regina's body has already been preserved so to speak; quite crudely actually." Gold said as he stood up smoothly without the aid of his cane yet he brought it all the same. "It's an impressive spell wrought from white magic."

"I don't understand. Who?" David said moving away from Mary Margaret. "How did this happen?"

Gold couldn't decide whether to tell them now just to see the looks on their faces or if he should keep this delicious little dose of truth to himself a little while longer. After a few seconds he decides now is just as good a time as any but only because he decided.

"Your daughter, the lovely Sheriff of Storybrooke is not only its Savior but she also has magic." Gold said as he clasped both hands on the polished handle of his cane and leaned on it. "Emma's powers can be blamed in part to her being a product of true love. In all honesty though being born with magical ability happens randomly; natural magic chooses its vessels randomly and rarely."

"What now? How?" Emma said as she sprung up from the edge of the desk as though a fire alarm had gone off. "That's not possible. I mean how could I do that?"

Rumpelstiltskin felt the overwhelming urge to revert to his pre-curse self. So many delicious jokes could be slung at the Savior and her parents. The only thing Rumpelstiltskin despised more than them was the nest of fairies that Storybrooke is infested with.

"All magic, even the darkest to the lightest is about emotion and the stronger the emotion the more powerful the practitioner as is the magic that they weld." Gold said while stepping around the body to exit the jail cell. "It would appear that when I brought magic to Storybrooke I awakened the Savior's power that has been there since birth. Congratulations Sheriff Swan; welcome to the fold, you may want to get yourself a teacher. And no I'm not up for the task."

Just when Emma had sorta kinda gotten used to the rug being yanked out from underneath her, it's happened again and she's no less than shocked by it. Mary Margaret and David are also experiencing something close to fear but for many different reasons, the main one being not their daughter's new magical abilities but the fact that she used a powerful spell on Regina without being aware of it.

"Can Regina be brought back?" Mary Margaret said as she blindly reached for her husband's hand. When her palm touched David's she felt as relaxed as she was going to be given the circumstances. "Is there really a way to do that?"

Rumpelstiltskin smiles, "Where there's a will there's always a way. But I'll have no part in it past pointing you in the right direction and then dearie's the rest is up to you."

Gold looks down at Regina's body once more and smiles. He promised Belle he wouldn't hurt Regina or at least not directly, but he couldn't call himself Rumpelstiltskin the Dark One if he didn't take full advantage of a loophole that suited him best. If Belle hadn't intervened he was going to turn his former student into a snail and step on her like he would've done in their old land. Gold taps the end of his cane against the floor and all three Charming's startle and he doesn't even try to hide the chuckle it causes.

"I'll have to look into a means to find a way to the realm Regina's soul has been carried to." Gold said as he walked by the body's legs and out past the threshold of the cell. "We'll finalize our deal Miss. Swan when I have something for you. In the meantime I'll take my leave."

Emma still wants to punch Rumpelstiltskin in the face. She saw that smug jackass smile down at Regina's corpse. Pride-the bastard is so ready to dance a jig on her grave. Gold leaves with sure, unaided steps out of the Sheriff's station. He'll stop carrying the cane eventually. But the more he thinks about discarding his walking stick the more he thinks he would miss its weight in his hand, and perhaps it would be useful when brute force is more satisfying than magic. As Rumpelstiltskin gets into his Cadillac and shuts the door he sees someone who's about to cause the Sheriff more distress. The sight of the visitor makes him smile.

"Are you certain this is worth the price you're going to owe Rumpelstiltskin?" David said turning to his daughter who looks as though she would like nothing better than to cause a little mayhem. "You have your own magic which is...your mother and I know Regina best and Emma we have given her so many chances. This still doesn't feel like it's our problem to deal with."

Emma doesn't really know what to make of her parents. On one hand she's starting to prefer Mary Margaret over Snow White and let's face it David Nolan isn't much better than this so called Prince Charming. So what if Regina tried and failed to kill them; almost doesn't count? They're both clearly still alive and kicking while Madam Mayor is dead as a doornail. Emma shakes her head because if she keeps thinking about this big shit sandwich that landed in her lap she'll have a migraine on top of the headache she's already got. Plus she really doesn't want to even begin to worry about how she's going to clean up the mess formerly known as the Sheriff's station.

"David, I appreciate your...perspective but I won't just turn a blind eye while you two and Gold throw Regina in a cheap pine box and then toast with Brandywine over her dirt."

"Emma!" Snow White shouted in her motherly Mary Margaret tone. "Your Father doesn't mean to seem so harsh. He has tunnel vision when it comes to certain subjects and Regina is one of them. We're here to help and that's that."

The Sheriff offers her mother a small fleeting smile. Emma's tries to think of where they can put Regina's body until her case of death is fixed. Emma squeezes her eyes shut and wishes that she could go back to her lonely life for a vacation only it wouldn't be lonely now because she would take the kid with her. If only this crazy town could be put on a timeout. Known or unknown to Emma, Fate doesn't take timely pauses. So when a young boy with dark brown hair barrels into the Sheriff's station with such force that his backpack nearly throws off his balance as he rounds the corner everyone is surprised and very unprepared. Emma turns around with an absolute frantic look in her eyes at the squeak of her son's sneakers on the floor. Meanwhile, Emma's parents move as one to stop Henry from coming any further into the room.

"Hey, so did you guys do it? Did you save my Mom?"

Snow White has the good graces to feel horrified as does Prince Charming. Their grandson has another mother who is not their daughter and it was the same woman who tried her damnedest to make their lives miserable.

"Henry, what are you doing here?" Mary Margaret said as David and Emma moved from behind her to form a wall between them and the things they don't want a child to see.

"How did you get away from Ruby?" Emma said in the best stern voice she can manage. "You were supposed to stay with her. It isn't safe for you to be here, kid."

The surviving Mills looks around with his young eyes and see's the mess. It was the bashed desk in the hallway that made him slowdown in the first place. Something's not right.

"That's not important." Henry said to all of his new family members. "I know you put my Mom in jail to keep her safe. But then some kind of storm came through and I wanted to check on her and you guys too."

An entangled web of emotions runs through Snow White's thoughts as she looks at her grandson who is named after Regina's father. The thing or rather the person she loved most. The price Regina paid to enact the Dark Curse.

"We're fine, kid." Emma said and Henry looked up at his mother and hero.

"Let me take you back to Ruby." David offered in an effort to diffuse the situation.

Henry knows their hiding something from him. Adults only act this way for one reason. With as much strength as he has in his short arms he pushes on David's stomach until he moves and then he dodges Emma's sudden out-stretched hands.

"No!" Henry said when saw his mother's body; he felt his chest cave in from the pressure of the hurt while he ran to her, almost tripping over his own feet to get there. "What did you do? What did you let happen!"

Disjointed, is how Emma feels at the fallen expression on her son's face. She's failed at something again. This is why she never wanted anyone to rely on her; if she didn't have bad luck she'd have no luck at all.

"Kid, we didn't..." Emma started as Henry kept moving away from her. But she really didn't know exactly what she wanted to say; definitely not a damn excuse that's for sure.

The small boy slows once he's past where the door to jail cell would be hanging but it's gone, ripped off. Henry thought his mom looked small to him and by the time his knees hit the floor he felt so sad. All the bad things he said to his mom came back to him and he wanted to cry harder, so he did. The low sobs of the small boy are heard by everyone in that police station. Snow White and her Prince Charming are stunned to say the least. But if they stopped to think for a minute they would come to the conclusion that Henry made thoughtless, careless judgements against the person who would do no less than die for him if she had to. Regina is flawed like anyone else and has made her share of mistakes; her imperfect actions don't make her less than worthy of tears.

"Emma, you should get him." Mary Margaret said kindly and then the Sheriff slowly walks towards the jail cell.

Conflicted is how Snow White feels at this exact moment in her life. The curse is broken but so is her family. Her daughter has walls that run about as high as Regina's did. Did? Past tense. Snow White swallows as tears collect in her eyes. Nothing is ever easy or even half-way simple; it never has been not since before her mother died. David notices his wife's pained silence and moves beside her to take her hand in his.

"Snow, everything will work out." Prince Charming said as a means to offer his wife some small comfort. "I promise it will; we're all together now finally."

Snow turns to look at her Prince who is not really royalty except by marriage to her, "Don't make promises you can't keep David. We have a long way to go to win over our daughter and find a way to forgive Regina again, and that's only if Emma can bring her back from the dead."

Snow White turns from her husband's gaze to watch intently after her daughter. Sheriff Swan crouches down to one of Storybrooke's smallest citizens who she's sworn to protect but he also has a special place in her heart to call his own.

"Mom told me she loved me at the hospital and I saw she meant it but I didn't say it back." Henry said as he kept looking at Regina's body on the floor; she looked like she was asleep but having a bad dream too. "It can't be this way. I need to tell her I love her too and I'm sorry. I want my mom back."

Emma rubs her hand along her son's back in what she hopes is a soothing manner. Henry softly runs his fingers over the dried tear track on Regina's cheeks; she feels cool to the touch. Henry shivers and wipes under his eyes before turning to face his other mother who is kneeling on the floor with him.

"Wait, do you have magic?" Henry said and just the thought alone was enough to ignite his hope. The look in his eyes is enough to make Emma confess with a nod even though she doesn't really believe that she has magic. "Great! You can use to wake her up."

"It's not a curse, kid."

"What happened to my mom then?"

Emma can't decide how much to tell her son. For a second she considers lying to him just a little but she changes her mind.

"Mr. Gold sent a...thing after her and it, uh."

"She's dead."

Emma presses her lips together and nods yes. She thinks the kid is too young for heartache but when she was his age she'd already had more than she should have. Henry tries to blink back his tears and he makes that awful hitching noise. Emma gently grasps both of Henry's arms as if he was made of glass and then turns him towards her.

"I promise I'll get her back." Emma said while holding onto his arms and for some reason all she can think about is that damn apple turnover Regina made for her when she looks into Henry's eyes. He ate the damn thing to prove to her in the most reckless way that she was wrong. "I swear I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you your mom back."

Henry throws his small frame against Emma's and she instinctively cradles him closer to her chest. She's always questioned if Regina truly loved her kid and she did. Emma has never questioned Henry though; he was adamant about his adopted mother not loving him and Emma believed it. It seems like the kid has realized a vital lesson too late; never take the people who love you for granted, even if they're a control freak mega bitch.

"We should move her body." Henry said as he choked on more tears that burned not only in his eyes but the deeper ones that lie within his hollowed out chest. "I don't want my Mom lying on the cold floor when she wakes up."

Prince Charming is the one who picks up Regina's lifeless body and carries it bridal style out of the Sheriff's station. He can't really wrap his head around how small she actually is; she's smaller than Snow. His sense of right and wrong has always had problems in regards to the woman in his arms, although she did mostly save his life once. Back when King George was about to behead him and Regina turned the blade to water. Clearly she did it for own selfish reasons -to hurt Snow- but the fact is she did save his life plain and simple. David Nolan thinks that the woman in his arms was too complex and not many people would ever be able to understand her.

"Put her in my Bug." Emma said knowing full well her son or the Mayor herself wouldn't like it if she suggested the back of David's truck. "We're taking her home."

Prince Charming admires his daughter. How could he not even if she wasn't his. He may not have been able to see her grow up but he's seen the person she became in spite of it all.

"Can I ride with you Emma?" Henry said while trying to walk in step with his birth mother and his grandparents. "I don't want to leave my Mom."

"Kid, there's not much room in my car."

"I'll get in the back." Henry said before running towards the yellow Bug.

The small boy eagerly opens the passenger door and then pushes the seat forward before clamoring into the backseat.

"Me and the kid will stay at Regina's tonight." Emma said as she pulled the Bug's keys out of her coat pocket and reached to pull the passenger seat back to its full and upright position. "Madam Mayor can't exactly object to me being there."

Prince Charming smirks at his daughter's words while he lowers Regina's body into the passenger seat. Her body just feels cool to the touch instead of ice cold like most do when death has taken everything even the last traces of lively warmth. Emma's magic is responsible for Regina's state.

"Snow and I will follow you to the Mayor's mansion." David said as he shut the passenger door, while Emma walked around the front end of her car.

The Sheriff somewhat acknowledges her father's words with a curt nod, before opening the driver's side door and getting in her car. Emma jams the keys in the ignition and the engine turns over after a few lulling cranks. As she backs out of her parking space she looks in her rearview mirror and catches the sight of a clearly dispirited kid. Emma grits her teeth and puts the Bug into first gear and pulls out while her father's trucks headlights trail not too far behind her. It's not a long drive to 108 Mifflin and so far the ride to Regina's is too quiet for Emma. Henry hasn't said anything. The kid is perched between the two front seats with one of his little hands holding onto his dead mother's shoulder.

"I'm going up to my room to sleep." Henry said as Emma pulled her car to a stop in Regina's driveway. "Are you going to put my mom in her bed?"

Emma kills the engine on the Bug, "No, I thought the sofa in the living room would do for now kid."

"That's fine."

"Are you mad at me kid?"

"Not if you tell me why Mr. Gold did this to my Mom."

Emma sighs and debates with herself for a few seconds; she doesn't really know why Gold did it other than because he could. But before she can answer her father is opening the passenger door to her Bug and once more he picks up Regina's body with care. Henry climbs out of the back through the space between the front seats and then gets out of the car, slamming the passenger door behind him. Emma watches as he runs up the walkway ahead of David and unlocks the front door to his home. The kid certainly never had to want for nothing. A tap on her window startles Emma a bit; it's her mother and she's smiling at her. Emma nods and opens her door while Snow White backs up enough to give her room to do so.

"Ever been in the Mayor's house before?" Emma said as she closed the door on her car before she started up the walkway with Mary Margaret right beside her.

"Of course not. I had no reason to. Have you?"

"A few times." Emma said as she glanced away to see David now standing just inside the front door with the body still in his arms, while her memories replayed that first night she met Regina and then the following day. Why the fuck did it have to get so hostile between them? "Regina was hospitable...mostly, except for when she tried to poison me."

Snow White sighs, "Henry will have unpleasant dreams now that he's been under a sleeping curse."

Emma doesn't know how to respond to that. She's never been tested like that with the kid. Regina was right when she said she was the one who'd soothed every fever and endured every tantrum. Emma includes chasing away nightmares as another requirement of being a parent; a job she has little to no real experience in. Damn Regina and her stubborn know-it-all ways.

"Where would you like me to put her?" David said as Emma and Mary Margaret walked over the threshold of Regina's home.

"There's sitting room or living room, study or whatever you want to call it on your right just past the staircase." Emma said as she moved past her father and opened the door to the room for him. Her mother follows in just behind him. "Say, where's the kid?"

Prince Charming gently places Regina's body down on the fine sofa, "Henry, just ran up the stairs as soon as he let me in. I'm going to go check on him if you don't mind Emma."

"Yeah, that's cool." Emma said with only a slight frown. "The kid is mad at me but I'll check up on him too in a little while."

David reaches for his daughter and places his hand on her shoulder and squeezes it affectionately before leaving. Emma listens to her father's heavy boot steps as he climbs the stairs. Turning her attention back to what's in front of her the room is exactly the way it was the last time Emma was in it. All those shelves built into the walls and the dark, rich wood that lines the walls and the smell of Regina's apple cider. Again that first night replays in her thoughts; only tonight there's no roaring fire in the fireplace. I can fix that later Emma thinks as she walks over to the sofa where Regina's body is lying.

"I wonder what kind of discussion we would be having if we'd gotten to Regina in time?" Emma said as she adjusts Regina's boot covered feet up on the white sofa that obviously costed a pretty penny. "I wonder if she would've said: 'Thank you, Miss Swan. Now please get the hell out of my way'."

Snow White chuckles at her daughter's decent impression of Regina's voice. She has so many memories of them doing that and more when she was just Mary Margaret. The very same name she haplessly chose for herself when she was trying to steal eggs from Granny and Red's chicken coup a long time ago.

"Regina is or was quite a character." Snow White said while leaning over to push a few stray, short hairs off Regina's forehead. "She was the most wonderful person I had ever met once when I was very young."

What Snow White doesn't say outside of her thoughts is she still thinks that even now in a small corner of her bright red heart Regina could be like that again.

"Yeah, I find that kinda hard to picture but I'll take your word for it."

"It was such a long time ago and yet it still feels fresh to me." Snow said as she straightened up her posture. "But no matter how much time goes by I do know that so much of Regina's behavior is because of how certain people treated her and the bad things that happened to her. One of which I was responsible for."

Emma looks at her mother strangely. I guess being thawed out of the curse for a couple of hours have helped in a way. Emma knows that Regina and Snow White have history past the fiction that she's heard about all her life. It's all real, different and so very harsh than fiction; so many hard truths were glossed over.

"You can tell me about it some other time if you want." Emma said as she fought the urge to reposition Regina's elegant hands. They didn't look right resting at her sides. "Right now I've had my fill of fairytales for one day."

Snow White can't keep herself from doing it another second; she boldly steps forward and pulls her daughter into a hug. She's waited a long time to hold her child but at the same time she's gotten to know her as her friend first. Emma of course feels awkward and can only manage to pat her mother on the back with her right hand since her left arm is mostly trapped under her mother's embrace.

"Well, your Father and I are going home to get some rest." Snow White said before letting go of her daughter and stepping back from their embrace. "We'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Sure, see you tomorrow...Mary Margaret."

Snow White nods and offers her daughter a smile before turning away. The Mayor's house is regal but deathly silent like the woman herself. Snow stops then turns and lingers in front of the doorway just in time to witness her daughter taking great care in picking up Regina's hands and then clasping them together so that they rest across her stomach. The sight causes Snow to gasp but to keep from getting caught invading on such a moment Snow quickly leaves the room and then waits for her daughter just outside of the doorway. Meanwhile, back inside the room Emma straightens up and looks down at the body. She thinks Regina looks like a sleeping beauty but all modernized in a real lady killer power suit. She also thinks she might be missing the sound of Regina's voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: "Helena (So Long & Goodnight)" by My Chemical Romance


	4. Regina

The world of London, my fantasy world, dissolves back into nothing and once more I'm standing in my defiled suit that's now so far past its prime it isn't worth saving. Prince Charming couldn't even save my suit and by that I mean if it were the most pathetic damsel in distress. Then my hands start trembling from the barrage of images playing out in my mind's eye, namely the dinner I supposedly had with my small son and boyfriend that I didn't actually participate in. I don't have to look around to see I'm surrounded by darkness again, which could very well be the most fitting metaphor about my life before I died. I haven't really processed my demise, how could I?

As the images of a life not lived recede like the high tide the darkness fades and then it's as though I'm standing in a room with the lights off and then they're suddenly turned on. I squint against all that light at once but after I few seconds I notice I'm in my office, or rather this worlds representation of my office at Town Hall. The walls in my office in Storybrooke are a stark white and black but this office it's red and black; everything else appears to be in the same placement though. As I walk towards my conference table I notice that the apples in the decorative basket on the table are black and rotten-looking. I almost reach out to touch them but I draw my hand back because an all too familiar sound is making its presence known.

I inhale sharply and close my eyes as the deep thump of numerous beating hearts are slowly being turned up as if they've been equipped with a volume control. I was right; this is Hell, my Hell. I won't admit that I've earned this but that won't change my mind or my feelings in perceiving that I feel like I don't deserve this. What was I supposed to do? Disappointment finally hits like a sledgehammer in my chest along with its other old friends that I've been acquainted with many times over. I won't breakdown though, not here, not even after my death. With my resolve reforming I open my eyes as a refreshing rage and I know how it feels to recognize it for what it is, and as it tingles through my fingers it almost feels like I have my magic again.

Moving away from the conference table I step towards my desk and its then I see that the chair is turned and facing the window. The view past the windows is again the blackest darkness. I've finally lost everything and I'm not happy about it. I hope Snow White is chirping with her birds; telling them about how she's finally free of me, that is if she can peel herself off her Prince Charming long enough. I bet those two idiots are fucking each other towards a coma, oh excuse me they don't do that, the two idiots are probably making the most vanilla flavored saccharine sweet love. A gleefully dark laugh resounds in my mock office which sets me on edge, and then the hearts start to grow quieter but at the same time the red-painted walls start to pulsate. My office chair moves and swings away from the window to reveal her.

"Mills, Mills, Mills." Strife said with a smile as she leaned back in my chair. I end up meeting those immortal violet eyes again. "We're just getting started and yet you're by far the most interesting soul I've only just begun to purge. Your thoughts alone are...delightfully amusing."

My throat is dry, if that's even possible, so in a force of habit I swallow roughly and clear my throat. I feel like I haven't spoken in days and my first attempt at words fail. So I clear my throat again and glare at the woman sitting behind my desk.

"Purging? Is that what you're doing to me?"

Strife shrugs, "That's what I'm calling it for your benefit and understanding."

When I've asked too many people in my life if they're going kill me I never spared a second to speculate on what happens next. Now I know. I take a moment to look at what's in front of me; Strife's changed her outfit. The indigo blue blazer she's wearing showcases her impressive shoulders and yet they're not broad like a man's. Strife isn't small and petite like me, which is why the clothes I wore as Queen were meant to convey power, to elevate my physical presence. I would say Strife's height without the low boots that I see peeking out from under my desk-have no more than a two and a half inch heel-she is at the very least five foot nine without them. The most striking feature though is still her hair, it's unlike anything I've seen before and it's not a silvery-grey color you would see on someone older.

"Still sizing me up, Regina?"

"You already know the answer before you ask the question so why bother?"

Strife smirks and reclines back in my chair further, "Did all those things some of your unruly subjects shout back at you after you condemned them to death really wound so deeply? Did all those insults in desperation compel you so much that you sought out what someone else, someone more powerful than you told you were lacking?"

For a moment I consider doing what some of my prisoners did when I questioned them about Snow White's whereabouts-mistake silence for bravery, not stupidity. I know who she's prodding about and I find them all one and the same.

"My teacher Rumpelstiltskin reminds me of Snow and her dullard Shepherd. All three of them think they have no bad ideas and there's nothing quite like the refined taste of righteousness. They just show it in different ways."

The thrum of the beating hearts and pulsating walls has become a gentle thrum of background noise. I dare say the sound is comparable to a disturbing lullaby.

"Tell me what were you thinking when Rumpelstiltskin branded you with the medallion, Regina?"

As if by suggestion my left hand twitches, "I was thinking this is why I didn't want the curse broken because I would be right back on the path of waiting for the next dose of the injustice that was my life." I replied while rubbing the palm of my left hand on my thigh. The mark didn't hurt when it was made, the true pain came later. "I didn't want to go back to living that way, the curse wasn't what I was promised, but it was something." I look away from those intense violet eyes and focus on the marbled pattern of my desk's top. "And I was right because it started exactly like it always does, with me losing everything, and not even thirty minutes after the damned curse was obliterated."

"What else?" Strife said while swiveling in my office chair to cross her legs. "I know there is more, I felt it."

I look up and meet Strife's gaze once more, "I hated him, Rumpelstiltskin, I wish I could've conjured a fireball hotter than the sun and made him choke on it."

"That's my girl." Strife said with a grin and I frowned. "I mean that in a complimentary way, Regina. I'm not belittling you. I love that fire in you. It was always there you know, even if your life had been...smoother, it would've still become a part of you. It's who you are and I despise the people who've made you feel like it was wrong in some way."

I exhale heavily and it startles me that the action was forced. I haven't been breathing, I don't need to anymore.

"So what's next Strife or are we done here?"

The woman behind my desk smiles widely and it reminds me every bit of that demented magical cat from Wonderland, only more sinister.

"That was just a warm up, Regina." Strife said while rising out of my chair gracefully. "Didn't you enjoy that little peak of single motherhood outside of Storybrooke? You were still well off and you had Henry all to yourself. You also had a nice dull boyfriend who was a passable lover as a bonus."

Being calm was never an emotion that I could aspire to often. The closest I could manage was when I tended to my apple tree. But I've landed in a realm where everything is a test. A very thorough test where apparently nothing will be left undissected before it's weighed and measured.

"I'm still feeling the memories from that stolen life." I said angrily as the sound of Will's accented voice echoed in my thoughts as if on command which is most likely true. "I take it those will fade in short order."

"No, you need to remember every incarnation I show you, for now." Strife said with a wry grin that drew my attention to her full dark pink lips that would look like outright sin in a red shade of my lipstick. "Your actions in that life were of your own making. I was quite pleased with your reaction to the young woman on the train. I didn't foresee you being so...congenial to her."

I turn away from Strife in a fit of anger. My eyes involuntarily rake over the black pillars in this version of my office, they seem darker, like an ebony muscle that's holding this construct together.

"Don't be so petulant, Regina."

Strife's voice is close but moving. She's circling me again like the true predator she is.

"Perhaps we should explore something different this time? Something that's just...more?"

My approval is a sham of course since Strife's not really asking for my permission. So I close my eyes and I wonder if this time I'll retain my memories of my Enchanted Forest self again. I rather enjoyed my time in London and Will whomever he or if was even real at one time...Oh hell, what am I even thinking? This has been the most unusual form of penance so far and it's only just started. I open my eyes and Strife appears directly in front of me and she just smiles infuriatingly before backing away slowly. The sound of beating hearts grow louder and it feels like they're all in my chest, where there is no sign of life. I'm glad there are no clocks in what I wouldn't hesitate to call what's rapidly looking like Hell's waiting room to me.

San Francisco, California 2000...

I couldn't do it. I left the Dark Curse and my father in the Enchanted Forest and fled when I procured a magic bean. I may have been driven past the edge of my sanity, forced to proudly wear my 'Evil' title but I did truly hit bottom, which is a term I learned from the realm I escaped to. I've been here in this world for seventeen years and now I'm in my late forties and divorced. I thought I was madly in love with the man I married. But I now I can admit that I got caught up in the welcomed mayhem of starting over and ended up no better off than before I came to this place. I haven't killed anyone but I'm still angry and miserable but even an ex-Queen has to hang onto her pride. These last few years I've had to keep telling myself that over and over while I washed it down with more alcohol than food.

I should have never married James, but he was the spitting image of Snow's true love and I couldn't help myself. He was ruggedly handsome like David or as Snow always called him 'Charming'. James though was more bold and devil-may-care than Snow's hapless shepherd who rebuffed my advances. James pursued me and it felt good to be wanted. Things were good for the first six years but then he started to grow tired of me. I thought I had felt low in my life before but I was only scratching the thin film below the surface. James wasn't even subtle. One day I came home from work and went into the bedroom and it reeked of sex.

The sheets were twisted on the floor and the duvet along with them. I heard water running so I went into our large bathroom and there he was fucking this redhead in our large glass stall shower. He had her pressed into the wall of the shower and he was giving her everything he had based on the noises they both were making. I must've stood there for at least ten minutes and watched. It was the way she clung to him with her arms around his shoulders and her legs wrapped around his waist. The loud throaty moans and grunts from the both of them echoing in my bathroom. I felt angry, sick and of course betrayed.

But even when they had finished and turned around and saw me, James just smiled and opened the shower door and walked past me with his semi-hard and slick cock bobbing in front of him. If I'd had my magic I would've strangled him until he died as he was fucking that bitch. As for my husband's little fuck toy I could think of no greater satisfaction than ripping out her heart and then showing it to her before I crushed it, but I couldn't do any of those things. And I certainly had no interest in spending my days in prison awaiting death if I had bothered to end them both with say a gun had I owned one. There was no doubt in my mind that I would've been caught if I resorted to such an act.

Instead I forced myself to watch the red-headed woman grab a towel off the rack and wrap it around her before she too walked past me with a smirk plastered on her stupid face. I had all the money though and James was idiotic after all since he actually believed that I would condone an open marriage. I pushed for the divorce and took my money with me. That was four years ago and most of my money is gone now. James weaseled some money out of me before it was over between us though. He of course didn't know that I'm not from this world but my past was shady. I had documents like anyone else but they were forged and anyone with half a brain who dug around would see that easily. I paid for his silence, far too generously as it turned out when some of my investments fell through.

In the here and now all I can say is that The Condor Club isn't really a strip club until 6 p.m. It has two entrances one for the naked section and one for a unremarkable sports bar with picture windows facing Columbus Street. The bar with its cheap drink specials and speakeasy interior are what I stayed for in the beginning. I started coming here about six months ago. I found the bar first but after a few weeks I found the go-go dancers too. The dancers rarely look like they do in the pictures out front. For the most part they look like regular girls but with tons of makeup on and they parade around in the streetwalker fare 'do me' heels. I'm not passing judgement on them though, since at one time or another you have to do what you can to get by sometimes.

The first time I walked through the red curtain divider and into the red velvet boudoir theme another kind of depression hit me. All around me were women who were choosing to sell their bodies. I was sold by my mother when I was younger to a man older than my father. I don't think about that time in my life very often if I can help it. When I killed Snow White's father, Leopold, I found a measure of satisfaction; it would never erase all those years of my duty to the King but it helped. After I paid the cover charge for admission to the club and truly passed the threshold so many of the men leered at me, no doubt undressing me with their eyes or imaging me up there naked and writhing around with another woman.

It took a minute or two for my eyes to adjust to the cheap, deep red mood lighting. As I walked further inside I saw what I suppose is one of the main perks of this club. A giant horseshoe where several seated men waited for their turn at the dancer who writhed her way across their laps in what I call a communal lap dance. I felt sick and I can only imagine how drunk the woman was or what lengths she went through after a dance like that to feel clean. I don't see how someone jaded or even a murderer like me would be able to stomach such a thing sober. My mother taught me that a life on your knees bowing in front of someone else is no life at all. But my mother clearly had no issues with a life spent on your back in the name of gaining power.

Just like any other night since I've been coming here, the usual range of excitable men are present and hiding out from their spouses if they're lucky or unlucky enough to have one. Only now I'm here because the woman I've been seeing for the last four months works here. I met her that first night over five months ago and I didn't mean for it to happen of course. I had never looked at another woman in a sexual way. But after I sat down at a table off to the side of the stage in the near dark I saw her. A blonde woman who had danced before her couldn't have drawn my attention if her hair was on fire. The woman who caught me in her clutches had dark hair close to my own color and it seemed to shine like a raven's feather. Her soft skin is slightly darker than my own but I wouldn't fully appreciate that until after I had her in my bed.

The surprising part to our relationship though was when she told me she was a single mother. The small boy was a one night stand that happened with barely her consent. She told me she had been drinking and that the man whose name she didn't catch drugged her. Her story made me very angry during the telling. The worst part was when she said she would have moments of clarity through the drug haze and he would be on top of her. She didn't have sex for almost three years after that night. She said the thought of being with anyone for the longest time made her have panic attacks. Her son is the cutest little boy ever though. I adore him. His dark brown eyes are his mother's and his adorable dimpled smile made it almost impossible for me not to take to him instantly.

My girlfriend is nine years younger than me, pushing forty, but she doesn't look it. People who find out about my age say I don't look mine but most of those time that observation comes in the form of an underhanded come-on. A change past the obvious has happened to me in more ways than one these last few months with her. Thanks to the woman who I share my bed with I don't drink as much anymore. And tonight when I sit down at the same table I was at five months ago, I think back to that first night fondly and no it did not end with us having wild passionate sex. I didn't want that from her right away since frankly my attraction to her was the last thing I wanted. She made and continues to make my heart race every time I lay eyes on her.

Sometimes I watch my girlfriend dance and other times I just meet her here when it's close to the end of her shift. Tonight I'm just waiting for her to emerge from the back dressing rooms. There's still plenty more to see of course but I'm not interested in watching a large-breasted blonde woman slide down a pole while spreading her legs wide open. The running commentary from the well-oiled and belligerent man the next table over is more than enough. When the man says something about her looking 'wet and ready' between her lower lips I consider ordering a drink so I can throw it on him. Instead, I shift in my chair and cross my legs and in the next moment someone who looks out of place, like I do, causes me to pay attention to them instead of the rude, uncouth and disgusting man at the other table.

A tall, slim man walks past me and sits down at the table next to me. Even in the sleazy red lighting the man's black suit with large white pinstripes stands out as much as the rest of him. At the top of the wide collar of his bone white undershirt is a very gothic looking bowtie that looks like a bat. I would say the tall man is at least six foot seven in my estimation. What's even more usual is the cane he's carrying which it appears to be for more decorative purposes than to aide in walking since he didn't walk with a limp. Out of the corner of my eye I end up watching the man closely. His short, jet black hair is combed back and appears to be so thick it has waves. His face is distinguished by a strong jawline but from his angle I can't tell what color his eyes are. Then I notice that the grip of the cane or pommel is a smiling pumpkin.

"I never thought I would meet the Evil Queen in this world." The tall man said and his flowing, melodious voice is striking to me as much as his words are. "But I also never thought I would come to this land and end up staying for a spell. I find my home world tedious at times, I always have and I always will I suppose."

"How do you know of me?"

The tall man chortles, "I have a fascination with knowledge, of knowing about different realms and I've visited many of them." He sounds harmless and wistful really. "In my realm my people are awed by the stories of the Evil Queen that ruled over the Enchanted Forest before she disappeared."

The blonde woman on the stage must have finished her set because the loud thumping, driving music stops and another song of the same persuasion takes its place.

"So your people like stories of mayhem, magic and murder do they?"

The tall man turns in his seat and faces me; his eyes are impossibly dark but no part of him is threatening, despite his imposing height. But I also get the sense that he could be frightening if he wanted or needed to be.

"May I call you, Regina? You see I don't really care for your more colorful title."

I nod my agreement because he is by far the most polite individual I've encountered in quite some time and I would know since I elect to be rude sometimes. And I hate being called the Evil Queen.

"Well Regina, in my land I'm immortal and a living skeleton." The tall man said with a playful smirk. "So based on that one revelation does my realm sound like a land that's afraid of a little darkness or death?"

I know who he is and I've seen the movie of course-his story. This realm loves stories about what they believe are fictional characters. I despise my story or rather Snow White's popular story and my part in it. I've long since decided that the only way I'll truly be able to escape Snow White is in death.

"So you're the fabled patron spirit of Halloween."

The tall man smiles and for a passing second I'm almost convinced that he would deny it. I shouldn't be surprised that he exists and I'm not. What I find vexing is why would he come to this world when Halloween has already passed here.

"That I am, Regina. But I wonder how this realm would react if they knew, if they saw me as this version of my true self." The tall man said while laying his cane across his lap as his long, elegant fingers grasp the black-textured wood. "I'm aware of how popular my tale is, so I wonder how people would react to seeing me with skin on my bones. Or learn that I don't break out into song at any given time." He added with a deep chuckle that caused me to smirk.

"You know the most interesting question I could ask you or your adoring fans-that is if they knew- is the most obvious: Why are you here in this place?"

The tall man just smiled and looked at me solemnly, "Waiting for someone like you...are. You see she loves to dance, the freedom she finds in it and in this world she is just as beautiful to me as she is in mine. And I don't mind anyone else looking at her since they will never see her the way I do."

I know who he's talking about. My girlfriend was telling me all about the new redhead that started dancing a week ago. The part of the story I found the most intriguing though is when my girlfriend was trying to describe the other woman's body art. She said she couldn't decide if the redhead's marking were tattoos, scars, henna or a combination of all three. My girlfriend also didn't hesitate to say how exotic the redhead looked when she danced. I haven't seen the redhead but now it's as if my thoughts summoned her because I do see my girlfriend walking towards me. Her eyes briefly flash over to the man next to me before she realizes that I'm looking at her and then she smiles. My heart starts racing at that smile, who knows where this relationship will go if it lasts and a big part of me hopes that it does. I haven't hoped for anything in a long time.

"Take care of yourself, Regina." The tall man said which drew my attention back to him. He moved his cane off his lap and then stood with an unnatural grace. "Be good or at least try your personal best to be."

I don't really have anything to say to that, so instead I watch him walk around men half his height until he is on the other side of the club and then I lose sight of him completely.

"Hey there." My girlfriend said before I felt her soft, warm lips on mine for a second in greeting. "I'm past ready to go home, Regina."

And with those words I rise off my seat to accompany my girlfriend by linking arms with her. My girlfriend told me that I rekindled her sexual desire and as such our intimate moments are varied. She surprised me when she said making love with me was wonderful but sometimes she just needed me to fuck her. The way she gripped my arm as we walked through the club spoke volumes that tonight was one of those nights when she would ask for that very thing from me. I'm always more than happy to give her exactly what she wants, since unlike my other lovers she is always eager to satisfy me with her mouth. She doesn't treat that part of our physical relationship like it's a chore to be endured and then only rarely.

"Who was that slice of dark meat you were talking to?" My girlfriend said as we walked out the dancer's entrance and into the cooling night air. "He's got to be the tallest drink of water and most well-dressed man I've ever seen in the club that didn't come with a N.B.A salary furnished entourage."

I laugh, "He just started talking to me to pass the time; he didn't come-on to me in anyway. He was waiting on that new redhead you were telling me about."

"So that's her man." My girlfriend said while taking my hand in hers. "Good catch, cause she's pretty tall too. I swear the woman's a straight up Amazon in every sense of the word."

I chuckle at my girlfriend's words while she laughs too. I feel so light around her and she's the first person to bring that out in me since-. I don't finish that thought because it will destroy this moment for me.

"Is it a bad thing for me to admit that hearing your fantastic laugh makes me horny?"

We stop walking once we reach my car and drop her hand but only to open the passenger door for my girlfriend.

"Not at all, dear." I said with a grin as she slid past me and got in my car. "That's nothing I would ever hold against you."

The ride to her apartment was filled with that special kind of pleasant tension. The babysitter I arranged for left shortly after we arrived and since it's well past one in the morning my girlfriend's son is fast asleep. We are doing this in her bedroom of course and once the door is locked there's no turning back for us. Sometimes it's slow, intense but it's not going to be like that tonight; it's going to be something new, I can feel it.

"God, I can't get these damn clothes off fast enough and to think I do it for a living."

I chuckle as I leave kisses along the perfumed skin of her neck. The taste of her in my mouth is enough to make my body ready to welcome her inside. Not yet though, but we'll get to that soon enough. If I had my magic I wouldn't use it as a way to rid us of our clothes because in my mind it would hinder the appreciation with each reveal. To me this isn't only about physical gratification; I stopped viewing it as that when I arrived in this world. I only want equal restitution.

"In all fairness dear, it's not as though you start your dances fully-clothed."

My girlfriend playfully pushes away from me with a chuckle that quickly fades and a look of willful determination takes over. It's not quite the same look that was on her face the night I saw her dancing for the first time. This look expresses something more that has nothing to do with a facade. I've never had a private dance from her before, if that is in fact the devilish thought that's populated her mind. In any event, I sit down on the foot of her bed to wait and to watch.

"I feel sorry for you, Regina."

Her voice is low and even, yet breathy. She's not talking about pity. Her eyes only leave mine when she pulls her light sweater off over her head and then the dark waves of her hair settles back down on her shoulders.

"Do you?"

Her jeans and boots are discarded next. The tempting vision walking towards me is unlike anyone I've ever seen and it has everything to do with the way she's looking at me.

"If you had love, if the people in your past had cared at all." My girlfriend said as she straddled my lap in only her deep purple lace bra and matching panties. "Life has been as cruel to you as it's been to me sometimes." My heart is beating so fast because of her warmth, but I also feel the tears gathering in my eyes that are already itching to break free. "I want to keep remedying all that if I can, for you, for us, if you'll let me."

The first few minutes have always felt like I'm relearning how to breathe. Freedom has been something that was just always out of my reach in my life or perhaps lives is a more accurate way to address my claim. That remained true about me up until four months ago. I have no words to say back to her, other than a simple nod and then I feel a few tears run down my cheeks.

"You know the only reason I kept dancing after...what happened to me, is because when I'm up there I'm not thinking about anything." The woman in my arms said after wiping my tears away. "For me it's like having no memory and I never see anyone, not really." She continued with gentle, lingering caresses which lead to her unbuttoning my shirt and then pushing it off my shoulders. "But I saw you and you saved me."

I shut my eyes so I can feel everything. The way she kisses me makes me think I'm the only thing that matters. This part isn't rushed; it never is, not even in those truly frantic moments that have occurred between us. As I lay back on the bed I pull her in closer and take her with me. Her weight on top of me is satisfying in its own right but then little by little her mouth begins to move over my body. A kiss over my heart as she flicks open the front clasp on my bra; then it feels like she's touching me everywhere. I open my eyes though when I feel her push my skirt up and then pull down my underwear. I raise my head up just enough to look at her and it's like those dark eyes of hers need the confirmation that this is real. After my heels hit the floor I feel her strong hands on my inner thighs my and legs fall open.

The contrast of the cool air in her bedroom on my skin is offset by her touch, but when I feel her hot breath tickling along my inner thigh I gasp. She loves doing this to me and it seems like it's never-ending and I would swear to it since I wish it wouldn't end, that it didn't have to. I could die like this and be happy but my next breath stills and gets caught in my throat at the sensation of her hot mouth covering me. I remember a time long ago when I was a little girl, I was running in a field and I slipped on the wet grass and fell. I also vividly recall lying there, being unable to move because I had hit the ground so hard I knocked the breath out of me.

I laid there for what felt like hours suspended in time. But when my body finally started back its natural, automatic function that first breath really hurt, it burned actually. This moment is similar except for the part of being deprived of oxygen and suddenly there is no warm body pressing onto mine anymore. It's over again and while I know the dead don't breathe, I don't know if the dead can be aroused but I am, undeniably so. I feel the firm softness of my sofa against my back and as I sit up I glance around and see that I'm right back in my office at Town Hall again, only this time it looks like it did before Strife redecorated.

"Being ripped from a dream or what I would call an infernal fantasy isn't pleasant!" I shouted at Strife since she looks entirely too amused sitting there in my arm chair where I sat in judgement at Emma once. It's clear that her patronizing smile is because she engineered the scenario that lead me to do what I was doing or who I should say. "If you're going to keep bombarding me with these...tortured visions, why can't I live out one with Daniel?"

The grin that grows on her face rivals any unhealthy, evil grin I wore back during my wicked reign. I only know how it looked because I would catch my reflection in one of my mirrors from time to time.

"Don't even pretend to try to tell me that you weren't enjoying what was happening and who the cause of it was." Strife said playfully before rising up from my armchair with authority. "And the...after effects shall we say will go away shortly."

Any protests on my part would be stupid, so instead I glare at the back of Strife's head while she walks towards my desk. Quickly, I get up off the sofa completely and stand up too. It's then that I notice my suit doesn't look haggard anymore; it's immaculate, like it was when I put it on the morning before I died. Any residual arousal I had has vanished but again I remember how her fingertips felt as they touched my skin.

"Daniel was the only good thing I had in my life until he was taken from me." I said with every ounce of anger I suddenly felt and it colored my words. "Then I was lucky enough to get Henry, but he was taken from me too, I have nothing now. So what would one glimpse with Daniel hurt?"

Strife stopped in front of the large window behind my desk and I watch as she traces her fingers over the glass. I feel my anger start to slip away without my consent.

"No, you've held onto Daniel's memory even tighter than anything else that was never meant to be held by you. You need to accept that your time with him wasn't meant to last and those kinds of memories don't belong here." Strife said and then with no small amount of refueled ire I swiftly walked around the sofa to follow after her. "You call this place purgatory Regina, but to me this place can be a second chance. A soul is given several choices during its time here and the final result determines its true fate. You cannot be fairly judged in your flesh and blood state when all humans are designed flawed and imperfect."

Strife's words force me to a standstill in front of my desk again while she hovers behind it. Only her focus isn't on me but the vast darkness just outside the windows that will invade this space if she calls out to it.

"The realm of your birth throws around notions of 'True Love' like ice cubes on a hot day; like they'll never melt and all are one of a kind." Strife said in a firmer tone of voice than she's used before. "I look forward to the day when the Enchanted Forest evolves past such trifling nonsense."

I feel myself smile for the first time but it's not a happy smile by any stretch. Strife walks out from behind my desk and comes to stand directly in front of me again and even with my heels on she is a good four inches taller than me. What I originally classified as a blazer is in fact another jacket that hangs down to the tops of her thighs. The pants she has tucked into her boots are dark jeans that fit as though they were made for her. The low black boots she wears have various decorative straps that look aggressively female.

"I'm glad you approve of my clothing choices, Regina." Strife said which caused me to snap out of my contemplations. "But back to the task at hand; don't presume to know better than me. What I said was a statement of fact that will happen one day. Time changes the composition of everything and that's the true natural order."

"How philosophical." I said with a wry grin to mask the anger I want to embrace but I'm being denied that right. "And you make the rules here?"

Strife smirks, "I enforce the rules here and I bend them sometimes when it's called for, but I've never broken them."

"Good to know but I wonder if these fantasies are really necessary. I mean my knowledge of purgatory always gave me the impression that it was the spiritual version of community service."

Those violet eyes twinkle and the amber lines in them glow as she laughs, "That wit of yours is razor sharp Regina, never lose your edge."

A sense of what I identify as pride wells up in me and I have to fight to keep a smile off my face that has nothing to do with contempt.

"Now, since I know you're not a patient woman how about we try this next thing on for size instead." Strife said and again it wasn't phrased like a question but the light in her eyes doesn't diminish. "That last life was adventurous but while you felt a responsibility towards your girlfriend you weren't in love with her, not yet. But I think you couldn't since you felt you had already lost all you had left to offer."

Like all the other times in my life I'm once more swept up in the current that just doesn't give a damn about where I want to go. The good feelings I briefly had are traded in for how ashamed I feel for that portrait of an alternate life. I also feel washed away, angry and resentful over it-this is a new breed of torture in my book.

"Try to stop thinking of it like I'm torturing you, Regina." Strife said tiredly as she turned away from me and then walked towards my conference table. The apples in my centerpiece are a lush red hue now. "This isn't about giving you the life you wanted, needed or were denied."

"Then what is this about?"

I can't really threaten her because I have nothing to gain by doing so. I don't imagine the dead have any more rights than a convicted felon.

Strife picks out an apple and then turns back around to face me, "Peeling back the layers, knocking down walls, removing a decaying foundation to build something that's stronger."

"Must you speak in metaphors?"

Strife laughs, "I do enjoy it from time to time, but to phrase it in plain American English this is about redemption, Regina."

"Because not all battles leave you bloodied and bruised." I said quietly to myself.

And then the last I see of Strife before the darkness takes me again is that damned teasing smile of hers before she takes a bite out of one of my apples.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: "Capital G" by Nine Inch Nails & "The Hearts Filthy Lesson" by David Bowie


	5. The Mission

Emma Swan, who feels like anything but a savior at the moment, spent her first night under Mayor Mills' high class roof testing out the guest bedroom closest to Henry's in an angry, fitful manner. The decorative pillows that were propped against the tasteful headboard were thrown with force at the chair in the corner of the room. Emma never understood the point of having a pillow you weren't going to use in the way pillows were meant for. The gently supportive and probably Mother Goose feather-filled pillows Emma did use were punched, squeezed and then put into a chokehold sometime during the night given its now extreme misshapen quality. Emma decided that maybe after a few waking twists and a few more premeditated punches the pillow might regain some of its former glory or not.

The at least five hundred thread count sheets didn't fare any better either. They looked as though a twitching junkie had gone cold turkey on them; minus the sweat and piss stains. Suffice to say Emma spent a good fifteen minutes trying to tidy up the tossed bed the best way that she knew how. Which was actually better than passable but in no way did Emma think it would pass an overly anal Regina inspection if she were able to administer it. After Emma deemed that the bed looked as good as it was going to get from her, she quickly slipped her clothes back on from the previous day to start what would be an even longer day than the day before and the day before that. Being the Savior felt like forced military service just without a paycheck, benefits and a decent pension.

What woke Emma up from her shitty half-hibernation were noises in the house-Regina's house. At first she was full on in 'on guard mode' because old ingrained behaviors barely even short circuit. But then after a few hazard minutes with her ear pressed to the bedroom door listening intently in only her tank top and panties she realized it could only be her parents downstairs. After getting dressed and checking Henry's room to find it empty Emma deduced that the kid had to been woken up by the noises to and decided to investigate. Sure enough as Emma quietly moved down the stairs she heard David and Mary Margaret running around in Regina's kitchen. Then another old habit of her's that formed from foster care days kicked in, and it's the one where she gained intel on the people who kept her.

One innocent way to do learn a little something was to accidentally on purpose listen in on their conversations while not in the room. In general and in Emma's experience, most people are only ever honest and uncensored when the person they're talking about isn't there in the flesh. So Emma paused at the foot of the staircase and strained to listen in on what her long lost and formerly cursed parents were talking about. She would have to be a complete idiot to believe that she wasn't the hottest subject on the table up for debate. A smile spreads unexpectedly on Emma's face when she realizes that Regina would be super fucking pissed if she knew her arch enemies or whatever raided her fridge and then cooked breakfast in her fancy shit kitchen. The smile doesn't last though when Emma remembers that Regina is kind of dead at the moment and can't voice a complaint.

The reminder of Regina's absence makes her angry enough to move closer to the kitchen. It's a familiar path and so fresh, so much so that Emma thinks back to a few days ago when Regina asked her to follow her to the kitchen as her oven timer went off. Its then that damned apple turnover flashes in her thoughts. God, it looked good coming out of that oven and Emma thinks about how she followed it with her eyes, but if she's being honest she had eyes for the woman who she thinks of as a poisonous Betty Crocker sometimes. Mary Margaret and David's voices grew louder as she slipped closer and then it was as if she were invisible and in the room with them. Hushed voices, clanking pans and the near silent hum of Regina's pricey appliances were the backdrop to officially start off another long day.

"Our daughter," Snow White began with a sigh because once again words she doesn't want to say, let alone acknowledge, are prepared for immediate expulsion. "I think that...no wait. Oh God, should I even be saying this? Ha! Alright, I know that Emma has feelings for Regina."

"That's not possible." David said, his deep blue eyes cloud over with moisture as the seconds tick by and then with a huff of indignation he turns his back to the scrambled eggs he was fluffing in the skillet. "Why her of all the people? Although, I guess it doesn't matter because Regina isn't here anymore and in time maybe a far better and safer option will come along for our daughter."

Snow White frowns, "Do you feel safer David!" She shouted lowly at her Charming Prince who looked as though he were seeing a stranger and in ways he was. Twenty-eight years is no brief interlude. "Well do you? Because I don't! I'm nowhere near ready to forgive Regina yet again, but I never wanted her dead...never that."

David Nolan was in familiar and yet uncharted territory. Regina's and Snow's feud began before him and he willingly took up the mantle on his wife's side against an enemy he essentially knows very little about. He thought he knew enough but today he's being reminded that some days you start from square one, instead of where you last left off.

"I already know that, Snow." Prince Charming said as he wiped his hands on one of Regina's fine tea towels that were draped over his shoulder. "Don't think that I've forgotten how complex your struggles with Regina have been or rather are. And no, I don't feel safer."

Prince Charming turns away and focuses his attention back on the eggs he's stirring in the skillet. Snow White inhales sharply and fights against the tears gathering in her glossy green eyes.

"Regina means a lot to me David and no matter what I just can't turn that off. I've tried and I can't." Snow White said as a single tear slowly escapes out of a watery eyes. "Regina always felt too much; a wealth of emotions lived and died in her." Snow continued in a quieter voice as though she were telling a secret, to which she exceeds at, while setting four plates down on the immaculately gleaming white marble-topped kitchen island. "I was so awed by her as a child and as adults all we've done is nothing but hurt each other. Thankfully, we both could never really...kill one another even though we had several chances."

"What are you doing?" Henry's voice startles Emma but before she can say anything the small boy frowns up at her. "My mom told me it was rude to eavesdrop on adult conversations. And you were spying on your parents, so did you learn anything good?"

Emma exhales loudly and fidgets, "Alright you got me, kid."

Henry looked up at his birth mother and hero but seeing her isn't enough today. The small boy only realized last night that his mom is gone, but his other mother promised him that she would bring her back. He dreamed of Emma saving his mom from another fire, like the one at Town Hall a couple of months ago.

"I went back up to get dressed like David and Mary Margaret told me to. They said I have to go to school today even with," Henry said but then stopped; his body gives in to a faint shudder like it sudden chill ran over it. "With my mom being gone, I don't want to Emma. Please, say I don't have to go? I promise I won't be mad at you anymore if you say yes."

Emma doesn't get a chance to answer her ten-year olds version of blackmail though because Mary Margaret or Snow White since they're both one and same pops around the threshold of the entryway to the kitchen.

"I thought I heard you two." Mary Margaret said in a far too cheery for seven a.m. "Breakfast is ready, so come on."

Emma and Henry trail behind Mary Margaret until she gestures for them to sit down at the small breakfast set just off the kitchen entrance that will accommodate the four of them.

"We have the best of the basics: eggs, bacon and toast." David said loud enough for everyone to hear and when Emma looked up he was of course was smiling. "I'll just load up everyone up on all the goods?"

Breakfast is just sounds. What kind of conversation can you really have in times like these anyway? Emma watches Henry push his eggs around on his plate before each bite. Mary Margaret ate daintily until she finishes all of her less sizeable portions. David's and Emma's plates had the most food on them and both are summarily cleaned before they were deemed full and done. Emma makes no apologies on how she ate especially with the day she was gearing up to have.

"Henry, you're going to be late for school." Mary Margaret chided as she sipped her second cup of coffee. "And you need to go doesn't he, Emma? We at least have that to offer the children of Storybrooke even after this latest mess and everything else."

The newly elected Savior hated being put on the spot, so she used the guise of wiping her mouth thoroughly to buy time. Henry looked at her expectantly and with pleading eyes. Emma wonders briefly if he tries stunts like that with Regina on top of the other stuff he pulls.

"Sorry kid, but she's right." Emma said while putting her knife and fork in the center of her empty plate. "I know you want to be there for your Mom but maybe going to school for a few hours won't hurt."

Henry pouted more if that's even possible and it turned out that it is. But as he scoots back from the table Emma reaches over and pulls him into a hug that he returns for a moment before leaving to go get his backpack from his bedroom.

"I'll take Henry to school then." David said before finishing off his coffee and then leans over to kiss Mary Margaret on the cheek. "And after I make sure he's safely there I'll be at the Sheriff's station; there are still a lot of people looking for each other."

David pushes back from the table and grabs his leather coat off the chair's back and pulls it on. Henry thumps down the stairs so loudly you would think he had put on an alarming amount of weight. At the same time David walks around the table and then pauses behind his daughter; Mary Margaret smiles at them both. Then Emma feels David's hand land on her shoulder and he squeezes it, and then she feels him leave a kiss on the top of her head.

"I'll see you both later." David said before he turned to leave.

A familiar itch arose in Emma about thirty seconds after the front door closed behind Henry and David. No one likes to be cornered and while this woman was just her friend not that many days ago, now she's her mother and there is much more expectations with the title change.

"I've got to get to Gold's and see if he has anything for me and he damn well better cause I'm not waiting around any longer." Emma said in one go as she moves away from the table and tries to make her getaway.

"Emma wait, will you stay and finish your coffee with me?" Mary Margaret said hurriedly but still as sweet and undemanding as she could bear under the circumstances. "Please?"

So much for getting out of another chat is what Emma thought as she just barely caught her eyes before they started to roll. Sometimes being right sucks since she saw right through this; it was time for another talk that couldn't wait, but Gold can again and we all know how that worked out. He had all the time he needed to go after Regina while she was locked up.

"Alright." Emma said as she slouches back down at the table. Never mind that she already drained her coffee when she devoured her breakfast. "A few minutes won't hurt I guess." She's going to regret this but. "What do you want to talk about?"

Mary Margaret tilts her head and places the coffee mug she is nursing on the table, "Your relationship with Regina and don't tell me I'm imagining things or that you're not ready, because I know what's on your agenda for the day."

A thought crosses Emma's mind and it's that being an orphan had one advantage; no family members prodding into certain details of your life.

"Look...I." Emma started but stopped since she had no answer really; not a short and simple one anyway. "Regina is my kid's mother. She took him in because she wanted him and despite how the kids been behaving that stubborn, controlling bitch would do anything for him. I respect that and I wish I'd had a little of that when I was growing up."

Mary Margaret is in no way disappointed with her daughter but to Emma seeing her mother's watery eyes that's precisely the conclusion that she comes to. Meanwhile, even though Mary Margaret has no proof really of Emma's proposed feelings, but she does know what she has seen and to an extent some things cannot be denied and certainly not forever.

"One of these days you and I are going to talk about your life here, and in return I'm not going to make any more excuses about the mistake your father and I made by putting you in that wardrobe. I know now that it was a mistake." Mary Margaret said while trying to hold in her tears. "Until then all I would like for you to tell me is: When did it happen; your feelings for Regina and please tell me, but without too many details."

Emma's face managed to find a whole new level of open-mouthed shock, "Is that some kind of jab about our one night stand conversation that you now clearly regret?"

"Emma!"

"Whatever, but one detail I'm sure you'll actually be happy about is I've never even kissed Regina much less anything else." Emma said while leaning back in her seat and crossing her arms over her chest. "I've barely touched her and the last time I did I tossed her around and yelled at her; it was at the hospital after Henry ate that cursed apple turnover to prove his theory."

Snow White shudders because she just knows that was the same apple she willing ate too.

"I don't understand?" Mary Margaret said while nearly matching her daughter's posturing. "I mean sure your father and I had a rough beginning too."

Mary Margaret's words trail off because the more she speaks-thinks aloud her thoughts and observations the more sense it makes and the more transparent it becomes.

"Whoa! Hang on." Emma said and uncrosses her arms in a gesture that would indicate surrender. "I'm not discussing true love or any of that other nonsense with you this morning. I'm still recovering from being over the limit on the whole fairy tales, magical things being real and all."

People notice things at the strangest times and it was then that Emma saw the mug Mary Margaret had been drinking her coffee from. It was one of her big fourteen ounce mugs; specifically the one with a brown squirrel wearing a red plaid scarf. The sight made Emma smile because the mug creeps her out as much as it provides her with a little chuckle. Not only is the stupid squirrel on the outside of the mug but he's on the inside too, so when you're drinking out of the thing it looks like there's a dorky squirrel drowning in your beverage of choice.

"What's funny, Emma?"

"I can't believe you brought that mug with you from the loft."

Mary Margaret reaches for her empty cup and looks at it before putting it back down on the table, "Well, I think it's cute and I didn't want to push my luck by using one of Regina's."

At the mention of her name the air grows somber again. Emma decides right then to just get the hard part over with; it only takes one time to do it.

"It was just an ordinary day or at least plain by Storybrooke standards." Emma said with what she hopes is an indifferent shrug that was a front. She didn't like that idea of anyone being able to see through her that quickly-family or not. "And as far as anything physical ever happening with her I know Regina would be…disgusted by the idea. And I so didn't plan on it happening, you know having feelings for her."

Mary Margaret wanted to get up and move closer to daughter at the small table, but after knowing her as merely her friend for many months she knows better than to crowd her when she's like this.

"But that day Henry was trapped in the mine with Archie and I pulled the kid out, beforehand I honestly thought Regina was going to kiss me and maybe I wanted, hoped she would but she didn't." Emma said and then dared to look directly at her mother rather than focusing on a spot just over her shoulder. "Evil Queen shit aside who better to share my son with than his adopted mother who raised him from three weeks old until now? That is if she wanted me. And yeah I know we've always fought like two bloody thirsty fleas over a dog, but I've always felt this pull towards her and I've wrestled with it every single time I've seen her."

Emma leaves out the part where she feels the pull even when Regina's not around. Realizing and then living with her attraction to the Mayor was easy since that kind of thing happens every day and almost always goes nowhere.

"The whole feelings thing really hit me when I was in her office for an appointment of all things and she was sitting at her desk, ignoring me, like she does until she's damn good and ready to start." Emma said as she leaned forward to rest her elbows on the table. "I was standing with my back turned to her; staring at that dragonfly picture. Then I said something about how I like it, you know thinking she still wasn't paying any attention when she spoke up."

 

"You're just as big of liar as I am, Miss Swan."

"What do you mean by that?"

"The night we met you told me that I didn't need to worry about your intentions towards Henry. And yet you've done the exact opposite of what you assured me that evening when we met."

Emma frowned and absolutely had to restrain herself from advancing on the Mayor. The infernal woman is just too damn skilled at being the type of bitch that can and will claw her way inside your head and then gouge out your soul on her way out. But something was different about Regina today; now that Graham is gone.

"I told you before I wanted to make sure the kid was alright. And he came looking for me because he was unhappy, Regina."

"And you know all about that don't you, Miss Swan."

 

"What happened?" Mary Margaret prompted because her daughter looked like she's lost in her memories.

Emma shrugs and displays a polite but a clearly bitter smile, "Regina called me a liar."

"And that meant something to you?"

"Not right away but it made me stop being pissed at her long enough to pay closer attention. I just saw all this sadness, frustration and anger for what it really is. Regina's about the most misunderstood person I've ever known." Emma said with conviction because those words describe her too. "And I suddenly wanted to see if maybe I could make her happy. I know I can piss her off like there's no tomorrow for either of us, that and I think she likes bickering with me."

Emma shuts off her own train of thought and goes silent since so much more happened that day in Regina's office, but it's not something she's ready to talk about with her mother. Just across the small round breakfast table Mary Margaret is searching for the right words. One sentence in Emma's diatribe keeps throwing her off and it's surprisingly what Emma said about Regina being too disgusted to be intimate with her daughter. Mary Margaret isn't about to imagine such an exchange for a variety of reasons but the ideal that Emma wouldn't be good enough, or up to Regina's standards is off-putting. Regina would be lucky to have someone like Emma as a partner in life; her daughter could never be a curse.

"I remember telling Regina that day she gave me the turnover that whatever is between us has to end." Emma said and it jarrs Mary Margaret's attention in another way. "I didn't want to of course but she had become as difficult and as bitchy as ever. It never entered my mind though that she would try to poison me."

"So you..." Mary Margaret paused because she was dangerously close to asking Emma if she's grown to love a certain mayor since it sounds like it to her ears. "So you do care for Regina?"

Emma flicks a lone bread crumb laying by her plate off the table and it goes sailing off the edge, "I know I do and I know that sounds crazy as hell but I would be lying if I said no. The first time I saw her come running out of this house to Henry I thought: 'Wow'. I couldn't help it and she made me all kinds of nervous; you know the kind of nerves you get when you're around someone you like. Regina was dismissive but I wrote it off as maybe she was just the type of person who doesn't warm up to strangers until she feels like it."

"Then why were you planning on leaving?"

They've already had this discussion when they were roommates and even though so much has changed in such a short period of time Snow White decided, for once, to not make this about her.

Emma shrugs again and begins to tap on the table top with her fingertips, "It's what she wanted and let's not forget that she tried to put me under to get it. And I've been dumped before even though we were never actually anything."

Mary Margaret sighs and reaches across the small table to still her daughter's hands. Emma's hands flinch minutely in return but the irregular, nervous rhythm stops.

"Regina only wants Henry in her life not me." Emma said because the warmth of her mother's touch and the understanding look she's shooting her down with is killing her. "And you know I was afraid I wasn't good enough for her and maybe I'm not. I've done bad things too and enjoyed doing it. Plus you and Regina come from a time where murder was as common as rain or sunshine. Hell, we have murder here too." Emma gently moved her hands out from under her mother's. She's said way too much and she feels like an open sore that won't stop oozing. "You can get killed in this world if you don't hand over your wallet, by someone who doesn't even care what the first letter of your name starts with."

Mary Margaret is done fighting her impulse control so she gets up and moves to the chair next to Emma where Henry's plate still remains. Emma follows her progress and when Mary Margaret sits down next her, she feels like it wouldn't take much more to make her cry now.

"You don't have to justify your feelings for Regina to me." Mary Margaret said while doing battle against the urge to hug her daughter. "I can't get angry about it anyway because she's dead but even if she wasn't I still wouldn't be mad. I have my own confession about her too: I've always wanted Regina to be a part of my family. I liked her from the very beginning and not just because she saved my life. I adored her and I loved her too right away; she makes it hard not to, even when she's being a...bitch, as you say." Emma smirks at her mother. "We broke each other's hearts so many times, over and over again."

Emma takes a shallow breath and holds it in for a moment. Today has already been a hell of a day and its only just gotten started.

"I think that's why it always hurt so much." Mary Margaret said as she takes a deep breath too and then flinches, but its not from any source of physical discomfort though. "One time your Father and I had captured Regina and she was scheduled to be executed." Emma's breath leaks out but then catches and sticks in her lungs. "I watched her walk herself up to that pike; pretty much leading both of the guards at her sides." Mary Margaret couldn't stop the silent tears that trickle out of both of her eyes. "I saw this proud, angry woman who wanted to die and I just felt so sad. Then they put the blindfold on her and even then I saw no fear. It was if she had accepted that this was how her life was meant to end." Emma looks at her newly found mother and she doesn't know how to react. "The company of archers lined up and took aim at her and I couldn't breathe. Your Father gave the order for the archers to shoot and I called it off. The Blue Fairy stopped the arrows barely an inch from piercing Regina's chest."

Emma watches her mother wipe her tears away, "Why did you stop them?"

Mary Margaret offers her daughter a sad and pained smile, "I knew that if I had allowed the arrows to reach her I would've been broken not comforted. There would've been no peace for me ever again." A silence like ringing in your ears permeates the elegant kitchen. "I tried to kill Regina with an arrow before that too, but with my own hands instead. Your Father stopped it by jumping in front of the arrow I meant for her." Mary Margaret sighs and leans back in her seat. "That happened long before David and I were together; he was trying to save me from myself."

Emma doesn't have the first clue what to say about her mother's past. But in a way she's relieved to hear her mother own up to the fact she is no moral virtuous being all the time.

"I really do care a lot for her Mary Margaret and she's not going to stay dead." Emma said after a brief lull where the low hum of Regina's refrigerator was the only sound in the room. "She can't, she needed a lot more good in life before it ended. And I don't care if my feelings go unanswered. She doesn't have to lo...like me back; I can get by with just being friends if we even manage that. Someone else will come along that might want me and I hope the same for Regina."

The worst pain hits Emma dead center after that admission. It was almost like being a flimsy paper target dummy on a Navy S.E.A.L.S elite sniper practice range; where everything hits and leaves big holes with deadly precision. Arriving at the conclusion that she even had feelings for Regina was bad enough despite all the shit they've slung at one another. But it's been nothing compared to losing the person before she could even be rejected by her and then the final layer has come in the form of failure and what will happen if she fixes it and succeeds. Emma Swan is not nearly stupid enough to think that Regina Mills will think she's anything special, that she's not anything more than some person to be regarded with contempt.

"Oh Emma, I don't know what to say." Mary Margaret said while carefully reaching for her daughter's hand. "I mean is there anything I can say about this complex relationship you have with your son's other mother. But I have to ask what will happen; I mean what will you do if you can't undo what the Wraith has done?"

Emma holds her mother's hand and then squeezes it briefly before letting go, "Doesn't matter but all I do know is there's no other option for me but to bring her back. I made a promise to Henry, and now I really need to get to Gold's."

"Be careful, Emma." Mary Margaret said while Emma stands up out of her seat. "You have to come back to me, but just so you know your Father and I will find you this time if something happens or if we think it's taking too long."

With a genuinely warm smile on her face Emma leans down and quickly hugs her mother, "I'll be back and if I have to I'll bring Regina back even if she's sassing me all the way."

Snow White watches her daughter exit Regina's house with a determined stride while leaving her behind. For a moment after clearing the breakfast table and washing the dishes Snow considered leaving but then her curiosity got the better of her. So she walked across the hallway and pushed open the door to study where Regina's body is. The room is warm and the comforting heat is emanating from the stately fireplace which is burning bright. The fire is slowly rolling over the two dwindling logs that have no doubt been providing heat for hours. The fire will have to be freshened with more wood if it's to hold its flame. Snow remembered that the fire wasn't burning last night when they brought Regina home.

Snow suddenly clenches her hands into tight fists and fights against the tears that want to pour out of her. Emma lit the fire for Regina as if she could ever feel the cold. Snow walked closer to Regina's body and with each step the repressed tears blurred her vision and made her nose want to run, but when her hand faintly touched Regina's cool forehead Snow White let out a quiet sob. Her daughter is right; Regina deserves better, they all do. And when her daughter brings Regina back Snow is going to make sure they all turn over a new leaf and find some semblance of a life together and a happy ending. Snow White moved away from Regina's body and pulled two logs from the small wood rack and then carefully placed them into the fire.

 

The Bug took several cranks to get the engine to turn over. All the measly and flat-out only suggestion worthy traffic lights in Storybrooke still weren't working and some of the side streets still looked like a live warzone shot on the evening news. But at least the sun was shining and it was a short drive to Gold's Pawn Shop. But when Emma got there twenty minutes passed before Gold got to the damn point and she thought about pulling her gun on him only three times. Emma has magic just as powerful as Gold's but her's is raw, untrained and new to her and it won't be something she will naturally revert to anytime soon. Gold smirked as he lead Emma to the back room and showed her a way to save Regina while droning on about emotions and magic and all sorts of shit Emma rolled her eyes at.

"With the use of your magic this mirror can be treated as a portal and it will take you wherever you wish to go." Mr. Gold said with his usual bored tone, even while the glee he was wearing on the inside had long since waned due to his latest rub. "You need only to think about the realm I described to you and then finding our dearly departed Queen is up to you."

"Yeah, okay but there was a mark on Regina's hand, Gold. I saw it and I want to know about whatever it was that you used on her too."

Gold smirked and then walked with steady steps to the locked cabinet where he keeps only a fraction of what he considers lethal and useful magical weapons. Emma watched as he pulled out a pair of leather gloves and put them on before he produce a key to the cabinet and then unlocked it. With his back to her Gold grinned as he pretended to search for the item. In his revenge plan for Belle he hadn't accounted for the Savior having the capacity to truly want to save everyone, including Regina.

Emma let her gaze wander over the type of dark blue and expensive pinstriped suit Gold's wearing. She only saw shit like that on dirty lawyers during her time Boston. In the next moment though another thought occurred to her and that is all the villains in Storybrooke are certainly the best dressed. Everyone else here looks like they fell out of an old and outdated L.L. Bean catalog.

Gold finally decided to select the gold six-sided box and turned around to present it to a demanding child that has no inkling or real use for the power that she hasn't the courage to tap in to. Gold opened the lid of the box and then following his careful example Emma reached into her coat pocket and pulled out an ink pen and slid it under the chain of the gold medallion. It's not as heavy as it looks and Emma hauls it out of its case by the chain.

"This thing looks like some kind of cheap pimp bling."

Mr. Gold smirked at the Savior's piss poor attempt at wit, "Yes well, dearie, if you say so. And I assure you that the medallion is quite safe to hold, provided you don't press the mark there into your flesh."

Emma doesn't trust that man any further than she could pick him up and throw him. But she does use her other hand to grab the top of the chain instead of using her pen like a miniature fishing rod.

"Now about the mirror. I mean how do I use it; I don't have to do the 'mirror, mirror' crap do I?"

Rumpelstiltskin grinned because on any the other and in a land far away he would've had the time of his life molding and manipulating such a naive and yet powerful magical vessel. He's done it before; more times than he can count but there is only a three standouts amongst the crowd, and all three where from the same family. A mother and her two daughters.

Mr. Gold turned and closed the cabinet and then locked it again, "That mirror standing over there is a tool I used once. A former student of mine pushed her overbearing mother through it to be free of her tyranny."

"Oh yeah, who was that?"

"Never you mind, dearie." Gold said as he pulled the leather gloves off and laid them down on the workbench. "This mirror is one and the same. I put on a show for my former student; they thought it was destroyed after their little deed, but it was not. I keep what I find valuable and of use."

Emma kept a safe distance from the fairy tale villain extraordinaire and thought that so what if she has magic too. This man would never be her first choice for a teacher to learn how to use it. Emma then had a thought that maybe Regina can teach her.

"Your magic will allow this mirror to become a portal again for travel between magical realms." Gold said as his below average stature for a man was reflected back in the tall mirror. "But Storybrooke has become its own magical realm so when you step through don't neglect to pay close attention to what the portal back to this world appears as."

Emma rolled her eyes, "So what does the door that will lead me to Regina look like once I cross over or whatever?"

"The entry to that realm bears the same symbol as the medallion in your hand." Gold said with a smirk since he doesn't expect the Savior to make the trip much less bring back his favorite Queen and former student. "So when you're ready close your eyes, let the medallion in your hand guide your magic and ask yourself: 'Where do I want to go? Who needs my help? And why do they need my help'?"

"Wait, what's this place even called?" Emma said while glaring at Gold's sharp-dressed and cane-less reflection beside her. "You'd better not be sending me on a one-way trip to Hell."

Mr. Gold grinned and made no attempt to mask it, "Nonsense, dearie. The place where you're going has only a few titles but the one you'll most likely recognize is 'purgatory'."

"Great, so I just need to focus on a place I've never seen and didn't ever want to."

"Focus Miss Swan, magic is about emotion and your magic is already inclined towards our departed Mayor. Now once more ask yourself what I told you."

"I got it." Emma said while staring at the obvious determination on her reflected face. "But what about payment? What am I gonna owe you when I get back?"

"We'll worry about that when you get back, dearie. Now let's see if you can even open the portal?"

Emma closed her eyes and made a face that someone would think she was attempting to do long division in her head. Gold smirked when the mirror remained dormant but the satisfaction fell off his face when the surface of the mirror rippled like water after a stone was cast to disrupt the stillness. Emma opened her eyes when she felt a rush of warmth surge through her and she blinked back her surprise at the liquid-like surface the mirror now had.

"I did it."

"Indeed." Gold said and successfully hid the fact that he is impressed by the Savior's pure magic so far. "Safe travels then, Miss Swan. I suggest you don't stay long when you get there, and as for payment let's just add it to your tab to be claimed at a later date."

Emma nodded and then stepped forward. She tested the mirror's surface with her fingertips and to her surprise it felt like cool water. After taking a deep breath Emma walked into the mirror and it was like diving under water for a second and then she took another clean breath in a whole other realm. Gold watched the Savior's body as it was swallowed up by the mirror and chuckled. So what if Miss Swan makes it; he doesn't think her rescue will go over well with the guardian who watches over the realm and governs the souls that fall into it. But even if the Savior succeeds having her owe him double is a fine deal made that much sweeter. Either way he wins this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: "Stay Together (for the kids)" by Blink 182


	6. Regina

Boston, Massachusetts 2011...

"I know you're nervous mom but don't be." Henry said as we step on board the elevator.

I start to press the button for the proper floor but my overly eager son beats me to it. After he chooses the right floor he takes my hand in his and I look down at him and smile.

"It'll be alright. We've come this far together, Mom."

I freely chose to invest in this trip to make up for the less than noble efforts my son put into finding this woman. I did in fact drive us here in my car because I didn't want to keep lying to the one person who means everything to me. That and I didn't want him slipping off on his own to do this, but then again telling a ten year-old boy his fairy tale storybook is true was a bitter pill for me. I read the storybook and it didn't spin an accurate yarn about me; it only highlighted the worst, and it certainly didn't elaborate on my gradual decent towards becoming the Evil Queen. So I decided to do something proactive about that no matter how much the thought of coming clean to Henry terrified me.

"You'll always be my mom and I love you." Henry said as he squeezed my hand. I don't look forward to the day when he deems it unseemly to hold his mother's hand. "I also love that you came here with me to find Emma."

The elevator seems to slow to me but then again it could be actually fast considering I've acclimated to living in magically created town where time is frozen. Hence why I decided I couldn't continue to lie to my son much longer. He was starting to notice how everyday was like the one before and how all the other children in his school never aged. I admit that I had no long term plan for keeping my son in the dark. My only other option would've been trying to integrate him into the curse.

"Mom, what do you think she's like? Do you think she'll be glad to see me?"

"I don't know." I said as the elevator dings out our arrival. "But if she's unkind to you in any small way then we're leaving and that will be that."

My son looks up at me and nods and after the elevator doors open he lets go of my hand to find her door. I follow after him; the hallway isn't long and as I approach I see him just standing at the door. He smiles at me and reaches his hand out to me and I take it in mine again. Henry seems excited to say the least and I urge him to knock on the yellow door with the fine script writing on it. For a moment the elaborate writing seems only no more than a decorative ploy since the other doors in the corridor also features some original design.

However the longer I look at the yellow door and its black lettering words begin to pop out amongst the woodwork-literally. The phrase: 'To cast a spell' nearly seems too common to be anything but happenstance. But as I read on other words draw my attention, such as: 'Enrapture, transport, mesmerize, dreamy, fascinate, entranced and beguile.' And scattered every so often amidst the words are variations of numbers like: '535.25' and '650.6'; they almost seem like coordinates to me. Before I can discern any pattern though the door opens and a taller than average attractive blonde woman in a light blue sweater standing there with a look of surprise and confusion on her face.

For a moment I want to grab Henry and tell him in no uncertain terms that we should go and forget about this. I don't have any interest in meeting the woman who gave him up. My real fear is Henry will see this other woman as a better option than me, no matter how many times he's assured me that its merely his curiosity. This is the reason closed adoptions are preferred but no matter what the law states they are not ironclad against willful children. Another deeper part of me that I've tried to bury hopes that this woman is awful so my son will forget about her once and for all, but I no matter what I don't want to see him hurt.

"Hey, are you Emma Swan?" Henry asked while holding onto my hand tightly.

"No, but I'm..."

"Who's at the door?" Another female voice calls out loudly from somewhere close by within the no doubt trendy apartment. "It'd better not be your sister and her brand spankin' new husband being all early bird special."

The blonde woman in the doorway smirks at Henry and as the other woman's voice in the apartment grows closer. A slight scuffle ensues out of my line of sight and then a few muttered choice words follow from the apartments other occupant. In response to the clamor the blonde woman standing in the door just shakes her head with an amused smile on her face. Finally, a few seconds later a woman with darker shade of blonde hair appears in the doorway beside the other.

"Hey?" The slightly shorter and more athletic blonde woman said while adjusting her line of sight to include me and then noticeably lower towards my son. "Um, can I help you?"

"Hi, my name's Henry are you Emma Swan?"

The athletic blonde woman seems puzzled by our presence. But when she looks down at my son again her bewilderment becomes more evident when her face forms the blankest expression I have ever seen.

"Um...yeah. But...um, does somebody wanna tell me what's going on?"

I can tell Henry's just bursting to say the absolute truth as he sees it so I gently let go of his hand to grasp and lightly squeeze his shoulders.

"Hello, I'm Henry's mother Regina Mills may we come inside?"

"Hi." Emma Swan said and then her eyes began slow track over my entire frame. I dislike how she's blatantly sizing me up. "Um...yeah, you can." Miss Swan rolls her eyes at herself and grimaces. "Would you like to come in?"

What an eloquent woman; her roommate must not have very discerning standards. This woman to whom I dearly hope isn't Henry's birthmother steps aside to let us in. Immediately, I see a pair of not entirely unfashionable black heels laying in the hallway. This Emma Swan woman, who's wearing a white tank top, jeans and bare feet in picks them up and tosses them inside the first open door to her left. I roll my eyes at her child-like antics. Aside from her ill treatment of her shoes the apartment is passable. But then I see the horribly finagled Rubik's cube on the kitchen countertop that's being used as a paperweight on a pile of unkempt paperwork, which is tacky. Adding to the clutter are four boxes of files piled in the corner near the window; some of them appear to be trays used by the postal service.

I have no idea what Miss Swan or her roommate do for a living but one of them is quite messy and my money is on Miss Swan. The other blonde woman seems to be too well put together for such untidiness. The one redeeming feature thus far in the apartment is the view; it's quite spectacular, the skyline overall and many lights from the buildings are rather charming in their random and uneven glow. As for the rest of the dwelling, the furniture is rather plain but then again Miss Swan is young and clearly not from money. She appears to be self-made and I respect that. Even in my time as Queen was about revenge and power and not the flaunting of wealth. Midas did enough of that to cover the entire realm and Rumpelstiltskin wasn't too far behind.

"Um...we really don't congregate anywhere but in the kitchen mostly so have a seat there at the breakfast bar, if you like." Emma said while her roommate appeared to be removing a bath towel off the back of one the brown chairs in the small sitting room and then carrying it off through the doorway just off the kitchen. "We weren't expecting company for two more hours at least."

A time frame for this fiasco and I couldn't be more grateful. Henry walks ahead of me and pulls out on of the black chairs on the end and climbs up onto it. The other woman reappears back through the door and closes it behind her. I can tell now that Miss Swan was waiting for her roommate to come back from a bedroom that she possibly spirited off to?

"So...um, is somebody gonna tell me what's this all about?"

Henry looks between Miss Swan and her roommate as I pull out the chair beside him and then sit down.

"I didn't think anybody but you, Emma, would be here." Henry said nervously while he turned sideways in his seat. "I mean do you wanna talk about this in front of your friend?"

The blonde woman with large blue-green eyes smiles sweetly and walks right up beside Emma and puts her arm around her waist. It's apparent to me now that this woman is obviously Emma Swan's girlfriend which is interesting. The two of them seem incredibly close and well-suited for one another. But Miss Swan's girlfriend has a much better fashion sense and the way she has her hair braided is elegant and not unlike how I wore my hair when I was younger. But for now it would seem that men, or rather a man, was apparently to be a passing phase with Miss Swan since she gave birth in her teens and is now playing house with a beautiful woman.

"Emma and I have no secrets between us." The blonde woman said with a warm smile plastered on her face as she released her affectionate hold on Miss Swan. "So please go on, Henry."

My son smiles at both women and then looks to me for support.

"Tell them what you came to say, Henry."

"I found out I was adopted a few months ago." Henry said timidly and on reaction I reach out and place my hand on his shoulder. "At first I thought my mom would be mad so I went looking for you by myself. I did some things I wasn't supposed to and...I borrowed, I mean stole and then used one of my teacher's credit cards to pay this website and when she missed it." Henry ducks his head and rub his shoulder. "Then I got caught when Miss Blanchard called her credit card company and they told her about the charge I made when her card was missing. Mom got involved then."

On the car ride here Henry and I agreed that no talk of curses were to happen. Eventually, he arrived at the conclusion that the prophesized 'Savior' would take some time convincing and easing her into the role would be better than just hitting her with the truth all at once. I was relieved to say the least no matter which way he chose to rationalize it.

"Christ, kid!" Emma said and then reached for her blonde girlfriend's hand. "And this website said that I was...your birth mother?"

"Yep, Emma Swan and it gave the same birthday as you have, which is today and this address."

The other blonde woman ends up nudging a clearly and thoroughly stunned Emma Swan if her open mouth is anything to go by. I must say that as the seconds tick by that I feel something is off about Miss Swan. I dare say that I just might get my wish in regards to her not being some new obstacle in my son's life or a proverbial thorn in mine.

"Yesterday was my birthday, kid."

"No, that can't be right." Henry said and after years of being his mother I can tell he's getting really upset and quickly. "Your birthday is today...it has to be today."

Both blonde women in front of me and my son exchange a look and Miss Swan visibly relaxes.

"Henry, I swear to you that Emma's birthday was yesterday." The other blonde woman said as Emma smirks at her. "We went out and had dinner, saw a terrible movie and then we came back home."

"What are you talking about?" Henry said in a higher pitched voice. "Mom, what's she talking about?"

I rub my son's shoulder in a gesture of comfort and an unspoken effort to get him to face me but he doesn't.

"Henry, I think you've made a mistake. I don't think Miss Swan is your birthmother."

Henry shakes his head and squirms on the stool, "No! You were adopted weren't you, Emma? Didn't you give a baby up for adoption ten years ago?"

My son is getting more upset with each passing second and to Miss Swan's credit she sees it and moves around her girlfriend and comes to stand close to where Henry is sitting.

"My parents have always been the Swan's, kid." Emma said sincerely as she leaned down on the countertop to be on my son's eye level. "And ten years ago I was graduating high school and then I went straight into college. I promise I wasn't adopted. I never was an orphan and I've never been pregnant or given a baby up for adoption."

"But I looked you up on the internet." Henry said and his voice wavers like it always does when he's on the cusp of tears. "The website gave me your name and address. How else do you think me and my mom got here?"

Miss Swan offers me and my son a small smile, "Henry...I, the website clearly stole your teacher's money and lied to you."

"No that's not true, it can't be." Henry said before he turned away from Miss Swan and buried himself in my arms. "Mom, what's happening?"

I really don't know what can be safely said to console my son. But I won't hesitate to admit that an uneasiness has lifted off my shoulders thanks to this error. I didn't know that the curse would protect my interests, even though I can't say for sure that's what has happened. Though it doesn't seem entirely unlikely given how Rumpelstiltskin was adamant that I cast his curse.

"I wish you were my kid though." Emma said softly and her eyes darted to her girlfriend and then over to me. "I'd consider myself to be really lucky. But on the plus side it seems to me like you already have a great mom who loves you."

The comment catches me off guard and I end up really looking at Miss Swan. It's her sea green eyes that draw my attention first and when she meets my gaze and her breath catches. I haven't had a reaction to another person for longer than I care to think about and I can't stop myself from looking at every inch of her that I can see. My pulse shoots up and I feel my face get hot even as my son whimpers in my arms.

"Henry, we should go now and leave these nice people to their evening."

Henry nods but continues to hide in my arms. I know he's embarrassed by his mistake and his outburst.

"Are you alright?" The other blonde woman said effectively ending the trance between Miss Swan and I, and after a moment Henry pulls back from my arms. He then attempts to dry his tears with his coat sleeve. "Can I get you anything, Henry?"

Henry sniffles and visibly tries to put his brave face back on, "Do you have any juice?"

Within a few minutes my son's face is tear free and he's drinking juice with Miss Swan at her computer desk in the corner. Miss Swan said she would show him a reputable website to help him track down his birthmother if he still truly wants to find her. I don't want him to find the woman until he's older when I actually have to do something about the cursed state we both live in. If I'm being honest though I hope the woman is no longer among the living. Henry finding his birthfather is another nightmare I don't think he's even thought about, yet.

Since Miss Swan gleefully volunteered to entertain my son her girlfriend chose to remain in the kitchen with me under the guise of putting away a few dry dishes that were on the rack in the cupboard. I don't mind the tense silence, I have nothing to say really but I can tell that she does and she's just waiting for the right time. So I subtly watch each dish be put away, and then with that task finished out of the corner of my eye I see her glaring at me.

"I don't know what your game is." The light-haired blonde woman said calmly but I know an oncoming threat when I hear one. I like that about her. "But if you think for one moment that I'm going to stand on ceremony and watch you try to take my girlfriend away from me you have another thing coming."

"You should get your eyes checked by a professional, dear." I said while watching my son interact with Miss Swan at her computer for a moment before turning my head to address the other blonde woman. "Because I'm certain you're seeing things that are not there. One of which being my perceived interest in women or more pointedly in your clumsy and unkempt girlfriend."

The blonde woman narrows her eyes, "You may not be interested in women but I can see plain as day your attraction to Emma and her's to you; it was instantaneous and frankly hard to watch."

I raise my eyebrow at her and chuckle which incites another baleful glare that I find satisfying.

"Regardless of that though, I know Emma loves me but people fall victim to lust easily. Still I have utmost faith in her even though I don't know you or what you will or won't do."

"What makes you think that I'm going to be around long enough to act on what I believe everyone likes to call 'chemistry'?" I said while leaning against the countertop. "I'm leaving and going home to Maine with my son tonight as soon as we are done visiting your charming abode."

The blonde woman inhales deeply and leans down on the countertop top too, "Emma will offer to help your son find his birth mother if he asks her. It's who she is and you may decide to reward that."

The both of us have kept our voices down but out of the corner of my eye I see Miss Swan looking over my son's head at us.

"Despite your rather crass impression of me I'm not a homewrecker." I said while briefly inspecting my nails before meeting those blue-green eyes again. "I don't want Miss Swan for five minutes, even if she could last that long with me."

The blonde woman's face darkens and then she slams her hand down on the countertop with force. The slapping sound is quite loud and it startles Miss Swan and Henry.

"Hey, is everything alright in there?"

The blonde woman blushes, "Its fine Emma...it was just a bug on the counter."

"Ewww." Henry and Emma both said while I smirked.

I can't resist pushing this woman's buttons. I haven't had any fun like this in a very long time. And besides she opened this can of worms with her overactive imagination even though I will admit that I did feel drawn to Miss Swan for a moment.

"Now, now dear there's no reason to get worked up over little old me. Single mothers aren't exactly a desired commodity, but then again that's with some men. Perhaps women have a different mindset or do they also just like it quick and dirty too with whomever they can get it from?"

"Emma has more self-respect than that." The blonde woman said in a low hiss. "She would never let you degrade her to a mere quick tryst on the nearest available surface."

I spare a glance over to where my son is and he looks back at me with the most wonderful smile. My heart feels warm and so very alive in my chest. I have better things to do now instead of antagonizing an all too easy target.

"I think that's quite enough, dear. I sincerely wish you and Miss Swan nothing but the best of luck and I have no designs on your significant other. I promise."

The blonde woman across the counter glares at me but then relaxes after a few seconds, "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm apologizing for being presumptive and insulting."

Surprisingly, I feel every fiber of my being find a calm it hasn't felt in a long time. So much so I find myself about a breath away from apologizing for my salacious remarks. Henry saves me from that though as he comes to stand beside me where I'm sitting.

"Mom, I'm ready to go now."

I ease off the chair and turn to address Miss Swan and her girlfriend, "Thank you both for your patience and understanding. I hope the remainder of your evening goes as planned since you're expecting guests in an hour or so."

The blonde woman behind the kitchen counter nods at me and smiles faintly. But the intrepid Miss Swan meanders around the counter until she's standing fairly close to me and my son.

"I'll just show you two out."

It's the way she says it and the sound of her voice and for a brief instant I allow myself to wonder what it would be like to grab Miss Swan and kiss her. As it turns out Miss Swan's girlfriend is rather astute but I meant what I said about not being interested in the woman who is not my son's birthmother after all. Miss Swan surprises me when she opens and holds the door for me and Henry. It's too bad she's taken and I live in a cursed town in Maine.

"Thanks for your help, bye Emma." Henry said with a smile before taking off down the hallway to call for the elevator.

"Sure thing, kid." Emma calls out after him which made me smile. "And it was nice to meet you too, Miss Mills."

I arch my eyebrows at the blonde woman who's wearing jeans that are much too tight but nonetheless flattering on her.

"Hey, you seem to like calling me, Miss Swan." Emma said with smirk and a chuckle. "So it's only fair I give you the same treatment."

"Have a good evening then...Miss Swan."

Another surprise comes in the form of Emma's bright smile before she closes the door to her apartment. And when I came to stand next to Henry at the elevator as it arrived an auburn haired woman and a blonde haired man stepped off. I surmised that this was the company Emma and her girlfriend were expecting all evening instead of Henry and I. In spite of Henry's fading disappointment I will be leaving Boston in higher spirits. I anticipated a sense of loss before we left Storybrooke this morning and I'm pleased to note that I'll be returning the victor for once.

During the long, dark car ride home Henry fell asleep while clutching his backpack which contains that infernal storybook. Only now I could care less about the way that biased book portrays me and I'm certain Henry will be losing his interest in it even though he knows it's true to an extent. As I carry my son inside our home he is still half asleep, even after I set him down on his bed and begin to pull his coat off. But when I reluctantly allow him to lay down on his bed in his street clothes his eyes flutter open and they are clear and very present now.

"Mom, thanks for doing that tonight."

I smile at my son and gently brush the hair off his forehead with my fingertips, "I did it for you and it was an adventure. But now it's very late so goodnight, my dear."

"I love you, Mom."

I lean down to kiss his forehead, "I love you too."

As my lips make contact with Henry's forehead a burst of magic sweeps through me. Tomorrow will be a whole other kind of an adventure. But then I feel my eyes give a flutter and then I suddenly feel like I'm going to pass out and I think I do.

 

"Son of a bitch!"

My mother taught me that swearing was unbecoming of a lady and never mind a lady who would be Queen someday. But after all these years I firmly believe that my mother was enough to make a saint swear and had more than enough drive to make anyone crazy.

"Oh good you're back. You know I was so certain that would've been enough Regina. Henry all to yourself?"

Strife's voice has become a sort alarm clock and as I lean up slightly it's then I notice that I'm laying down on the sofa in my study at home and not in my pseudo office at Town Hall this time.

"And I still can't believe you really had given up on finding someone else in favor of holding onto the memory of your first love, Regina?"

"Please make an effort to make sense." I said while moving to sit up. I feel like I've been a victim of a hit and run, and then the same person backed up and decided to do the job again just for sport. "Why is it every time I emerge from one of your manufactured illusions my body acts as though it's been under a sleeping curse for a hundred years?"

Strife chuckles, "The body you're in now isn't real of course but your mind, soul if you will is, and that's what goes traveling while your vessel remains. It feels sluggish because your mind has to wake up to this reality as does your vessel."

I stand up from the sofa and take a proper look at my surroundings. I'm in my home or rather a version of it. My tormentor is leaning against the fireplace almost casually and she's still in the same clothes as before. No costume change for the third act apparently.

"So how did you like seeing Miss Swan again? I think she did alright by herself and her girlfriend was quite a treasure don't you agree?"

"Oh yes, it was more precious than baby deer droppings." I said as I walked around the center table between the two sofas. "I'm so relieved that my chance at redemption involved Miss Swan yet again. I was almost starting to mourn the lack of her presence."

Strife pushes away from the fireplace with a laugh and walks over towards the window. Like always there is nothing to see but an empty black abyss through the clear glass.

"Oh my dear bittersweet-temperamental Regina, green isn't a good color on you." Strife said and had I not been dead I believe my neck would've made an awful cracking noise due to the force in which I turned it. "Did you not like seeing Miss Swan with someone who accepts, understands and loves her unconditionally?"

"I could care less about Miss Swan at this juncture." I said as I began to pace; starting from the sofa until I quickly settle on the pattern from the door to the fireplace. "More importantly though, it goes without saying that I broke my own damn curse in that fantasy!"

I can almost feel the smugness in this fake room elevate and I imagine Strife smirking at me so I stop pacing. Then without any warning the fireplace comes to life as sizeable flames in deep orange and bright blue erupt over the logs and engulf them. The fire burns so quickly that it's almost as if I had lobbed one of my fireballs at it but I didn't.

"I promise you it's not that far-fetched to imagine you as your own savior, Regina. And furthermore, Henry was always meant to be yours and no one can take that away from you; not even in death."

"But who was his birth mother in that fantasy?"

"It doesn't matter. All that the fantasy, as you call them, was meant to show you is that no matter what your son loves you, Regina." Strife said as she moves away from the window and turns to face me.

Those violet eyes of her's are even brighter to the point that they remind me of some far off nebulous in space.

"But think about this fact that you know firsthand from your life, Regina. The curse was meant to be broken so how did a ten year old child locate his birth mother when you and Sidney couldn't even break into those closed documents? And the answer is: The curse knew when its tenure was up and it aided a small child into bringing about its demise as it was foretold. You cast it so it's perfect symmetry that you be the one to break it."

I can't decide whether I want this malformed teasing to end now or if I'm just meant to remain mostly silent and continue to take my lashes so to speak. But I do know that my tolerance is running out and I don't know how much more of this crap I can withstand.

"That was Emma Swan, so how was she not Snow's daughter in that little concoction of yours?"

"That was one Emma Swan, everyone has their own doppelganger and a name is precisely just a name. You know I've never understood why mortals put such emphasis on something so trivial. But I suppose to them it's but one small tool to building purpose." Strife said as she walked right up to me and with her towering height I feel like a unruly child that's about to be disciplined. "But if you want logistics of that fantasy then: Snow White's daughter is in Storybrooke with David Nolan and his lovely wife Kathryn. They have a small daughter who's been perpetually stuck in infancy for over twenty-eight years now. Her shining sea green eyes capture anyone who looks into them and her cursed name is Eva."

I smirk in face of a being that is looking at me as if I were a strange and small bug that they found in their garden. However, at the same time I'm being evaluated as something more than just a bug that's going to be squashed.

Strife smirks back at me and moves past me back towards the fireplace, "In that fantasy when you enacted the Dark Curse and it washed over the land instead of sticking wee Emma into the magical tree wardrobe Snow and Charming chose to keep their daughter. And as per your wishes Snow was summarily robbed of her daughter and husband, but you did let David and his betrothed wife Princess Abigail keep the girl that they believe is theirs. You do have a large soft swishy spot for children Regina, as should any adult with feelings that run as deep as yours are wont to do."

What I wouldn't give to have my magic back. I turn away from the black void views that the windows offer and step over to the fireplace. The fire burns and the wood crackles but I feel no heat or any sense of warmth, but I suppose that's to be expected since I'm dead and this is no more than a fantasy too of sorts.

"You know magic, is the only truly individual and special element in any realm." Strife said rather solemnly with her unnatural eyes fixated on the burning fire at our feet. "It's the one thing that made you unlike any other mortal. You should've tried to find your happy ending with another like yourself, since I really don't see how a relationship with an ordinary mortal would be desirable."

"Is it me or am I the only one who has realized that magic is rare? Almost as rare as people who might grow to love someone without reservations?"

The look Strife gives me very nearly makes me cringe but I fight my outward inclinations to the best of my abilities. I constantly catch myself slipping, forgetting that she can hear my thoughts or perhaps she just knows them.

"If I loved magic as much as you do, Regina, I would hold out for someone who was my match in every way-not settle for something less."

"I don't love magic."

"If you recall I asked you not to even consider lying to me and yet here you are and you just did to my face." Strife said with a chuckle that was devoid of any amusement. "I know it would be unnatural for a person to love the dark things you've done with your magic but it's a part of you just the same as breathing. You could've done more, been better and I know for a fact that using magic makes you feel alive in a way that any other comparison falls short of. Would you believe in the not too distance future your son will lament to you about being ordinary, and by that I mean him not having the gift of magic like his two mothers."

I'm so tired of hearing about Miss Swan and everything she stands for. I can barely stand the woman but I will say that I somewhat admired her resistance. No one challenged me the way she did but I could've gone without that. She gave great headaches and I bet if I wasn't dead I could feel one coming on now at the mere mention of her.

"We have a little more exploring to do, Regina." Strife said with I dare say a wicked gleam in her eye. "You're made of tougher stuff than the rest of the mortals I've met and will meet from now and until the end of creation."

Again if I were breathing it would be safe to say that all the wind has gone out of my sails. I can't imagine anything more daunting than to keep going. I'm not doing this anymore; consequences be damned and then they can go to Hell too.

I stand up straighter than I already am and button my immaculate blazer together, "In the interest of not prolonging the inevitable any longer, no, I don't want to see anymore. I'm tired. I want to let it all go."

The wood burning in the fireplace pops loudly and then the wood crackles and hisses. Pride has no place here but I wish to keep what dignity I have intact.

"Truly?" Strife said as she ran he hand along the top of the fireplace's mantle. "Well then, if that's the case then let me ask you something and don't you dare answer me with anything less than the truth. The cross your heart and hope to stay dead kind."

I roll my eyes, "Go on, ask away."

"If I were you send you home would you go to that back room in your crypt and finally lay your first love to rest?" Strife said as she tried to make eye contact with me and I refused until I couldn't. Those unnatural eyes of her's belong on some predator from a distant void. "Could you bring yourself to undo the preservation spell you have on his body and set him free? Would you do that?"

"How do you know about...?"

I don't finish that sentence, I can't, but even if I didn't give an answer an outright denial is useless.

"Take a moment Regina; we have all the time in the world."

So there it is; one of the last pieces of my unfinished puzzle is the equivalent of moving on and letting go of my past. My heart wants to break all over again every time I think of Daniel. How much more is going to be demanded of me? What more do I have to be stripped of to be free?

"If I were alive again..." I said past tears that were already gathering in my eyes; being dead hasn't numbed all of my feelings. "Oh God, you can't be serious!"

"Deathly serious, Miss Mills."

I want to throw something so I grab the small wood cased clock sitting on the fireplace's mantle and throw it. The clock hits the door with a satisfying sound; like that of a hammer, and the clock breaks apart and its guts fall out. Small notched gears, the escapement and its wooden case is fragmented splinters and shards laying on the floor.

"Feel better?" Strife said and at the sound of her amusement I turn and glare at her. "I'd say to Hell with time too since it doesn't mean anything here, but smashing your little antique clock seems a bit an excessive illustration of the concept to me."

"You know I would love it if I could wipe that damned smirk off your face." I said while moving a few steps away from the fireplace. "You seem far too pleased with yourself and the control you have over me here."

Strife laughs and the sounds causes a fresh wave of anger to crash and break along my rocky scholls.

"There's that fire I love so much. But hiding behind your anger won't save you from me. So answer the question, Regina. Smash some more objects if you like, if that's what it will take to loosen those lips."

If I had my magic back I would show her some of my fire so to speak. I know that I can't hurt her but I would still relish the look on her face with one of my fireballs aimed directly at it.

"You can murder me in your thoughts but that won't help your cause either." Strife said as she walks away from the fireplace, closer to me, while allowing her hand to run along the back of my crème white sofa. "It's interesting to me that this is the room where you had your first sit down with Emma Swan." Those violet eyes of her's look dangerous all of the sudden; they remind me of the late evening sky before dark storm clouds start to roll in. "Were you really that threatened by her taking your son away or was it something much more lethal that you were afraid of?"

"What the hell are you driving at exactly?"

The lingering smirk finally falls off Strife's unlined and flawless oval shaped face, "You're loathed attraction to the Savior of course. You absolutely hate it and I wonder why that is? And let's overlook the fact that she's Snow White's daughter even though that's the most delicious part."

I have to close my eyes for a moment because my simmering rage-as Rumpelstiltskin called it-is boiling over into a level I'm certain is hotter than the fires of Hell that are laying in wait for me.

"Miss Swan is a nuisance. She had no legal rights to my son anymore but that didn't stop her." I said with what I know is my best iron-clad glare. "And as for my attraction to her, I would lie about it if I could to you but that is pointlessly stupid. Still it means nothing; Emma Swan means nothing to me. She is an insecure orphan who will do nothing with her life but fall all over herself to please anyone and everyone who will show her even the tiniest bit of attention. She would have to acquire more self-respect than I possessed on my lowest rung for me to waste more than two minutes in my thoughts on her."

Strife stops to stand less than a foot from me and her hand slips off the sofa, "Anything else? Don't hold back on my account."

"The irksome woman was deluded enough to think as you do; our so called mutual attraction. Emma even dared to confront me one day in my office not too long ago." I said as I moved around Strife and for a lack of any other outlet I grab a small white candle off one of the candle holders on the mantle and throw it at the window. The window doesn't shatter but the candle passes through it. "Why...why would she honestly think that she was allowed to be so forward with me? That I would welcome her feelings?"

Strife moves past me to stand in front of the fireplace which is still burning bright but I still feel nothing. Then again what warmth can the dead really feel. I wonder if endless pain is what I'll face in Hell.

"A simple stable boy was enough to garner your attention and your affection. What is so wrong with a person who has lived her life as misunderstood as you, as alone as you, and who is also a deep magical vessel like you?" Strife said while pulling the fire poker off its stand. "In fact her greatest wish is that she wants nothing more than to see you smile, and to hear you laugh would mean everything to her. Emma Swan believes with all her heart that you are worth saving because you deserved a better life than the one you had."

If I were breathing it would've ceased by now anyway.

"Emma Swan, also has an idea future painted in her mind where you are Henry's mother right alongside her."

"Stop it."

"Miss Swan, also thinks that she's not good enough for you." Strife said with amusement and a hint of thoughtfulness. "She also believes that you are disgusted by the idea of even touching her beyond punching her in the face."

"I said...stop it."

"Tell me Regina, would your mother be put off her lunch by the idea of Miss Swan?" Strife said with a wry smirk in face of a brief, dangerous silence between us. "Would it compare to the way Cora was clearly repulsed by the idea of her only daughter running away to squat out brats with a man who shoveled horse shit for a living?"

I feel no pain just the dulled sensation of my hand quickly forming a fist and then lashing out and then landing on Strife's face. She didn't even budge of course and my hand is no worse for wear.

"Don't you ever talk about Daniel like that."

Strife works her jaw for show and then smirks at me, "I'll talk about him however I like." She raises the fire poker and puts it against my shoulder; right over my non-beating heart. "And Daniel was the real focus of our conversation, so I repeat: If I allowed you to go back to the land of the living would you let his body and soul finally rest? Or do you think that your anger and selfish lust for revenge made you justified?"

I can't feel the press of the iron fire poker but Strife pushes it into me enough to make my body waver.

"Answer me Regina because your mind is blessedly blank right now, and kudos to you for being clear-headed for once in your afterlife."

"There's no escape from this place and nothing for me to go back to. So the answer doesn't matter."

Strife lowers the fire poker and turns away from me, "I would never dangle such a promise that I have no intention of fulfilling. You're confusing me with others who've treated you that way. I have nothing to gain here but you do."

My legs feel as though they're about to fail me but they don't, not yet, but something else crumbles inside me instead. If I had a breath to breathe it would've been knocked out of me; it feels like it anyway without or without oxygen. My eyes are on fire and the pressure in my chest feels like a hole has been punched through me. The dead do cry and that shocks me to the point where when I look up, that such a display being witnessed by another would've been too much for me to bear. Not anymore though and certainly not today or whatever this limbo is.

"Regina, there is no shame in this. It has no place here and it's not in my job description to make the departed feel less than what they already do."

I slap the palm of my hand against the fireplace's mantle and grasp it tightly as my tears go into freefall, "My life was nothing but a series of disappointing roadblocks; one right after another, with no end in sight. I fought that with all I had every single damn day."

"Have you learned nothing from your time here?" Strife said as she takes a few steps from me; still holding onto the fire poker as though it were a wand in her hand. "You could've escaped and started over in any place you would've chosen. You're bright, resourceful and have a strength in you that almost no one can rival. But I understand that letting go is almost too much to ask of a person sometimes; now you can though, let go I mean."

My father flashes in my thoughts and my chest just hurts or whatever the dead call it; my price for revenge and possible happiness. I wouldn't mind seeing my father again; he was all I had for the longest time.

"Regina," Strife's voice sounds so rich and forgiving. "You have to stop lingering in the past. That should have been the first lesson you learned here." Strife turns back around to face me and then poses with the fire poker as though she were using it as a cane; Gold comes to mind. "The second lesson you were supposed to learn was that life is full of the promise of possibilities even when its bleak. But the most important lesson I showed you was that nothing lasts. A mortal's life is but moments and the only way to face that is with every ounce of courage you can muster."

My hand loosens its grip from the fireplace's mantle and with a sniffle that I try my best to mask; I cross my arms over my chest.

"Say it, Regina. Would you be willing to let go of Daniel's memory?"

I look down at the floor in this fake representation of the study in my home, "I would kiss Daniel goodbye one last time and give him a proper burial. I would choose to be free of the heartache of his loss. I would choose to...be happy in whatever form it took. I would do the best I could and not beat myself up about it when I slipped from time to time."

My tears are wet and tasteless and I should know because they've all run down to my lips. I said what was in my heart while I owned up to what I'm actually capable of. I've always told people that I know who I am but so much of me has been lost. I've also realized that I've let too many people tell me who I should be.

"We're done here then." Strife said and I glance up with watery eyes to see her place the fire poker back on its rack near the fireplace. "Good luck Regina, it's been a pleasure and I mean that."

"Wait! What are you talking about? Where are you sending me now?"

Strife smiles briefly, "Home Regina, I'm sending you home. It wasn't your time to die, not really. And let's just say you have someone watching over you and he wants you to finally live your life. He feels that you've put it off for long enough."

"Who?"

"I think you know. So goodbye and take care of yourself, Regina."

For a moment those fierce violet eyes of Strife's morph into pure blue eyes and then her body shifts into that of someone I knew a long time ago. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from calling out to this latest vision. Then I close my eyes and the act forces a fresh batch of tears to run down my cheeks. I feel the ground shift under my feet and I don't need to open my eyes to see that the darkness has come to claim me again. I wait in the dense silence until I feel like I can face whatever is waiting. When I open my eyes a large gold-gilded mirror stands before me, but it's no ordinary mirror. This mirror is the one I pushed my mother through. Why not face her too in the end?

I used to spend time staring at my refection in my mirrors when I was Queen. I would study all the damage, my damage that lies just beneath the skin. My most visible scar is on my lip, but the one's underneath I imagined them to resemble a person with first degree burns. Now, when I look in the mirror in front of me I see a woman in an immaculate suit that's facing something unknown. I start to move closer to the mirror but I stop when the surface starts to ripple like disturbed water. My reflection dissolves and another replaces it; only this is no image, and in a manner of seconds a solid body forms and a person steps out of mirror, boot first.

I've been to Wonderland, even stepped through a mirror myself, and I say stepped because Miss Swan almost trips out of it. I imagine trying to walk with her eyes closed poses a great challenge; never mind doing it while going through a portal. This latest mirage to add to my personal portfolio of fatalism, is what I hope will be the last time I'm subjected to a perversion of Miss Swan. I watch as she turns around to look behind her while I wait for the reaction. To my brief amusement when Emma turns away from the mirror and then sees me the flabbergasted expression on her face is somewhat comical and it then recycles in on itself.

"Hey, wow. Lucky me, I was coming for you." Emma said with a timid smile as she moved away from the mirror and that much closer to me. "And here you are, right here...waiting?"

Presumptuous as usual but at least I will give Strife high marks for getting her characterizations right.

I roll my eyes at her, "Waiting? I think not, Miss Swan. Nobody saves me but me."

Emma smirks, "My sentiments exactly. I mean I'm not some damsel in distress but I'm not too proud to ask for help when I need it most of the time. But I thought you might need some help getting back to your son."

My last unwanted temptation is also the last time my son will be dangled in front of me for her satisfaction. What a package deal.

"Leave me alone Miss. Swan I'm already dead anyway and I most certainly have no desire to go back to that now rotting corpse that was my body."

"No, Regina. I'm not leaving you and your body is just the way you left it."

"And just how did you accomplish that, dear?"

Emma laughs in a way a person does when they're uncomfortable and then she stuffs in her hands in the back pockets of her jeans.

"Magic? I mean at first I went to Gold for help and I made him help since he did this to you. But when he got to your body he said that...I...I have magic and when I touched you. I mean when I checked to see if you were alive and I found nothing my magic...God, that sounds so weird to say, came out to save you because of my emotions."

"You have magic? But of course you do. The product of 'True Love'; you are quite the walking cliché, Miss Swan."

Emma huffs, leans back and then frowns at me for a moment, "Are you coming back? I mean you have to come back. I said I would bring you back and we'll even throw you a party."

I scoff, "Some welcome home that will be since my son hates me but idolizes you. Silly me though, a party would be called for. I've tried to forget who your mother is since she would want to throw some tripe gathering for such an occasion. So tell me should I bring a cake, pie or perhaps I should poison myself with a pastry beforehand, the modern way of course…would strychnine suffice?"

"Why do you have to be like this, Regina? I'm trying to keep a promise I made to...Henry."

This is the most absurd and outright annoying fantasy with her, yet again, that I've been subjected to. I suppose I should count my one blessing though and that is I don't have to see Emma in that eyesore red jacket of hers.

"A promise? Do tell Miss Swan, has my son suddenly had a change of heart that he's abruptly decided that I've done more than my share of horrors but they seem tame when compared to the 'villains' the realm you and I've lived in has."

"Regina, the kid saw your body and he was torn up. I tried to make sure he wouldn't see you like that but he did."

I hate it when Emma calls him 'kid'. You know I've not nearly had as much fun with this afterlife business as I should have. But then again so much of it felt designed, although I did have choices to an extent.

I straighten my posture and clasp my hands together in front, "Since we're on the subject of children's welfare then, I burned the witch that liked to eat small children basted in butter or gravy. I never understood her butter fixation. I would've always gone gravy."

"Wait, burn the? What the...Hansel and Gretel are real too? Seriously?"

"They are real and you've met them, dear. The boy and girl who you just couldn't let get separated; the two children who liked to shoplift and lie."

"That was them?"

"Yes and I offered them sanctuary in my castle when I found them in the forest after their father abandoned them." I said succinctly but I leave out the part where it was me that abducted Hansel and Gretel's father. "The children refused my offer of course, even when faced with living in the woods and starving to death or far worse they chose that over me. It hurt. I'm tired of all the hurt and rejection."

Emma looks stricken for lack of a better descriptor. I suppose my bluntness was unexpected. I don't care anymore about the high walls I built to survive behind. I have nothing left to lose or rather anything that can be taken from me anymore.

"Go back the way you came, Miss Swan. I can see myself home or rather where I'm going to next. You're not really here anyway; you're just one last parting shot before I leave this marginal facsimile of a hellhole."

Emma frowns and then glares at me, "Lady, I'm really here and to prove it I'll tell you that I spent last night tucking in our son. Who by the way is mad at me for letting something happen to you and then for making him go to school this morning."

So time is supposedly moving slowly in Maine in more ways than one. I wonder if they've thrown my body over a pyre or perhaps they've simply put me out on the curb for pickup.

"Regina, listen we've got to get out of here. So help me out here?" Emma said as she stepped closer to me until I could smell her perfume of some sort, which in fact smells suspiciously like the fabric softener I use. "Man, I had no idea purgatory would look so...empty."

I smirk because shouldn't I have some more fun with this vision, "It doesn't always. I was in a warped version of my mayoral office not too long ago."

This version of Emma is an improvement over the one I saw fucking Graham. She's still dressed in a leather jacket and of course those damned jeans and boots; her uniform of the disenfranchised rebel.

"You know, I...um, I think about that day in your office a lot, Regina."

"I bet you do, Miss Swan." I said with a raised eyebrow and a smug smirk. "I wonder why that is though, since I did anything but encourage you."

This fantasy will not end with me fucking Emma if I have anything to say about and I'm going to make damn sure I do this time.

"I would have to voluntarily offer to lose quite a few I.Q. points to not have realized your attraction to me, Miss Swan. It surprised me quite frankly and that day in my office you wanted me to kiss you. You were giving me this look that said you had unraveled all my mysteries and had all the answers to my problems, but you're gravely mistaken if you think that you know anything about me."

"I don't think I know everything about you!" Emma shouted rather red-faced and not just from anger. "I'm not that damned arrogant. And I...I just thought...you look lonely to me Regina and to me a kiss is just a start, not a end-all-be-all like you fairytale types think it is."

"A kiss? Why would I ever...want that from you, Miss Swan?"

Emma's face contorts to show how my blows have landed and the satisfaction I would normally feel at her clearly hurt expression doesn't happen. The Savior catches herself though and quickly a steely but slightly wounded mask slides in and covers the unabashed hurt.

"You're right, Regina. I don't really consider myself a catch. I have a shit load of issues and I can be an unapologetic bitch too." Emma said in a rather straight-forward manner, but her voice struggles to match the strength she's trying to project. "I got knocked-up up when I was seventeen by a thirty-year old man. I went to prison for his mistakes and I had your son there; cuffed to a delivery table and all. I've never thought I would mean anything to anybody and...I'm still not much of anything." Emma's chin wobbles and she stops speaking. Surprisingly, my black, non-beating heart wants to break for her if she were actually real. Emma wipes under her eyes and the self-deprecating smile is unavoidable. "I mean shit, when I say most of it out loud. I understand though and I'll get over it and we can try just to be civil co-parents."

I can't or more specifically won't listen to any more of this so I close my eyes and try to imagine a pure peace that I will never see. All I had left was Henry and I sacrificed everything I had for him and a possible second chance with Daniel. Those things clearly weren't meant to be though. I've reluctantly accepted that no matter what I do or the more desperately I try to hold on to something the faster it slips through my fingers. I'm tired and old. Rumpelstiltskin bested me in the end in a cowardly fashion; using the Wraith on me. All because he was too chickenshit to do the job with his own two hands or even to do it the easy way, choke the life out of me with his magic.

"Go away, Miss Swan or whoever you're trying to be." I said with a resolve that I don't want to feel or believe in as squeezed my eyes closed tighter. "I don't care anymore but I'm sure Henry will be glad to forget all about...me."

"Regina, that's bullshit! Henry loves you and he misses you. And I promised him that I would protect you. I failed but I'm here now and you can't just..." Emma shouted as I feel my form shift and dissipate; like when I would transport myself magically.

I feel like I'm falling again only this time I hope I don't hit the metaphorical ground like before. I suppose now I'm going to the actual Hell or at the very least the front door since I just spent a measure of time in its waiting room. I find it funny now that I read about how dreams where a person is falling is associated with a loss of control. I've always known better than most that the notion of control is an illusion; no matter who or where you are. Opening my eyes is pointless since there's nothing to see and it's not as though the experience is like jumping off a tall structure. There is no wind, only the deep silence of endless space, until I finally hit-again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: "S.O.B" by Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats, "Zzyzx Rd." by Stone Sour, "3 Libras" by A Perfect Circle


	7. Coffin Nails

Regina's body jerks harshly on the sofa. In the exact way a person does when they fall asleep suddenly only to wake themselves up. Regina's first coherent thought is that the Wraith came for her but it obviously failed to finish the job. Regina tests her limbs and they feel stiff but they don't and then in short order she feels magic, that's not hers, slowly falling away from her like a warm blanket that slides down off your body when you abruptly sit up. The Savior has magic because there is no other explanation is Regina's second thought. Gold wanted her dead, so he wouldn't waste one ounce of magic on preserving her corpse. And there is no one else, other than Emma, who would lift a finger to do anything for Regina other than kill her.

"Regina!"

Unfortunately, Regina knows the voice that's attached to the face of the person extremely well without even opening her eyes. Regina's aggravation compounds when she easily recognizes the following mixture of a grunt and a hum from what can only be a second person. The two idiots, as she refers to them, are in her home. This is not the ideal way to wake up, no matter what time of the day it is.

"Mom!"

Mildly protesting body aside Regina's eyes open and her vision is blurry, but colors, shapes start to have definition with each second that ticks by unnoticed. Perhaps her recovery is faster than most since she hadn't heard her son sound like that when he spoke to her for longer than she dares to admit. There is fondness and a relief in his voice that has been missing.

"Did you see Emma? Did she make it? Did she save you? I asked her to save you, Mom."

The young boy scarcely gives his adoptive mother time to sit up between his frantic string of questions, statements, before he flings himself into her awaiting arms. The force of his hug is nearly too much for Regina and not in a physical sense. It had been a while since he sought any comfort from her or any form of motherly affection. That thought alone is almost enough to make Regina cry in front of the audience gathered in her study.

"Regina, are you alright?"

The mayor looks away from her son long enough to glance at the other two people in her home. Snow White has never looked so relieved to see her, and even more disarming is how penitent her beloved shepherd's gaze is as it falls on her.

"Snow and I kept watch over you while Emma went to find you." Prince Charming stated as he moves forward and then kneels down to be eye level with Regina and Henry on the sofa. "Did Emma make it to where you were?"

"I don't understand. What exactly happened to me?" Regina said as she notices her clothes; one of her favorite suits that she's been wearing for a while apparently since it's wrinkled. "I remember facing down the Wraith when it came for me but then I must've passed out."

Snow White moves forward and places her hand on her newly found husband's shoulder, "Regina, you...the Wraith. You didn't..."

"You died, Mom."

Henry interrupts Snow White and the very sentence steals all the air out of Regina's lungs. Henry's voice is nothing more than watery tears and Regina carefully takes his face between her hands as though he might flinch from her touch, or if he were made of paper-thin glass. There is this look in his eyes that could wash away all the months of pain they've caused one another.

"I'm sorry for all those bad things I said about you. I know now why you made me think I was crazy. It was wrong but I was too." Henry said but the rest of his conflicted thoughts wouldn't organize themselves fast enough beyond one unspoken truth that hadn't been uttered in many months. "I still love you even though you're the Evil Queen. I mean I guess you hate being called that so I won't call you that any more. And you're still my mom and I don't want to lose you ever again."

For a woman with a heart so maliciously damaged by others and herself; hope can be crippling after being denied it for so long. Regina is not so unlike a proud warrior who has fallen on their sword, but the wound was never kind enough to kill.

"I love you too, Henry." Regina said as her brown eyes began to glisten with tears. "But did you really ask Miss...I mean Emma to save me?"

Henry swallows roughly and looks even younger than he already is, "I did. I wanted you back and Emma promised me but Mr. Gold got to you. And then that monster came for you before she could get there."

David and Mary Margaret or Prince Charming and Snow White are barely holding onto their decorum. It's one thing to cast judgment on what your conditioned to believe is inherently good and what is inherently bad or plain evil. The trouble with that kind of thinking is that it leaves no room for people who are a bit of both. And if everyone were to be brutally honest with themselves no one sitting, kneeling or standing in the Mayor's study are all one hundred percent good. And that includes fairy tale princesses who are lethal with a bow and arrow and ten year old boys who lie, steal credit cards and run away from home. Regina herself is the only one with no regrets about who she is, what she did to survive. She's only ever hid the worst of herself from her son because she felt he was too young and out of fear of losing him.

"Are you here to help take my son away on your daughter's behalf?" Regina said with obvious contempt but if her worst fear is true this is enough to break her the rest of the way. But then Regina's eyes fully adjust to take in one missing detail beyond her son and the two morons. "Where is Miss Swan anyway? It's not like her to fail to capitalize on an opportunity when it involves undermining me."

"No!" Snow White gasps and has to chew the inside of her cheek to keep the tears at bay. Her Prince Charming who is still on one knee dares to reach out, but at the last second he places his hand on Henry's back. "We are not going to do that! Why would you think that? And my daughter doesn't try to undermine your parenting."

So much of Regina's memories of her sojourn in purgatory feels like a fading dream now in the warmth and light of her study. For a few seconds Regina faintly recalls seeing Emma but then that flicker of a souvenir is gone. Regina attributes that brief invasion to all her entanglements with the unshakable menace that is Emma Swan.

"Forgive me if I'm not at ease, Snow." Regina said and then as if she'd neglected a small detail, said detail reminds her of his presence in her arms. Regina then feels her son move away from their embrace. "I don't have the best track record with you in regards to you facilitating the efforts of making sure I lose what little I've had to love."

"Mom, please don't be mad at them or Emma anymore."

Regina leans back from the embrace too. It's at this time she truly looks over the boy is will always be her son no matter what anyone says. So much of Regina suddenly feels like an invader in her own body but then she reflects on being told that she died and that explains a lot.

"I can try, for you." Regina said as she gently grasps her son's face in both of her hands again and then she pushes is hair off his forehead. "Can you forgive me for everything? You're all I have in this world."

Being the Evil Queen didn't render Regina emotionless. If anything the unfortunate moniker that others saw fit to saddle her with became Regina's only armor against the emotions that ruled her heart. The study in the mayoral mansion was rendered silent except for the sounds of the crackling fireplace that is burning through its wooden fuel.

"We're family now, Regina. Whether you like it or not." David Nolan said with certainty which shocks Regina to the point she's forced to meet his cool blue eyes which have been studying her intently. "I have my family again and we need to heal. But we're going to do that together."

The gentle candor to which David Nolan speaks is possibly too much. Perhaps being told that you were dead is one thing but then having not one, but two of your mortal enemies say that you've been essentially adopted into their cheerful clan can be just enough to choke on.

"What in the hell is wrong with you two?" Regina said and then she debates on if she should cover her son's ears or not. "Either you two have forgotten who I am, or you've gotten progressively worse in terms of being thick-witted than I thought humanly possible."

"Mom!"

"Regina!"

"What?" Regina said with a smile for Henry and then she looks up and does a specialty eye roll just for Snow and her Shepherd before she looks back at her son. "I'll accept a trial truce then between your grandparents and your other mother, Henry. Is that suitable for now?"

Henry can't help but smile. His memories of his mother haven't changed like everyone else. So many good moments outweigh the last year which was bad but also entirely his fault. He could've handled finding out he was adopted better. But he also thinks that maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if his mother hadn't lied to him about something more important than either of them.

"That works, Mom."

"Good, now tell me where your other mother is since she's missing such a rare event."

"She's at Mr. Gold's." Henry said before he gives Regina one last hug and then moves off her lap. "We should go check on Emma if she's not back in a little while since you're back, Mom."

Snow White smiles at her thoughtful, forgiving grandson. Prince Charming gradually rises off his knee to stand side by side with his wife. They both end up looking over Regina who appears to be fine-based on her usual caustic words-but they both know better.

"Mom, I'm going to run up to my room real quick. I'll be back."

Regina smiles and caresses Henry's check before he turns and leaves the study. She's alone with the alpha idiot and her beta idiot mate. Truce, parlay, surrender, restraining order Regina will never stop calling them idiots.

"Well then, Miss Swan should be coming back through at Gold's since that's who she enlisted as help; poor choice as it were." Regina said as she tries to stand and to her sheer unbelief Snow White rushes to take her hand, and then what Regina finds even more disturbing is that she lets her. "If you want to keep your daughter it would be wise to get your sappy act in gear now. That is unless you two require a formal invitation to attend her rescue, only to find out it's the wake before the funeral."

"Emma is strong and she can take care of herself." Prince Charming said while helping Snow steady Regina on the opposite side. "And Snow and I promised that we would stay behind for Henry and you."

Regina huffs because her strength is taking too long to return. Her body feels sluggish; like she's been asleep for weeks on end. When in reality she's been dead on her sofa for maybe forty-eight hours or so. Getting her bearings and a sense of time again will take longer than a couple of minutes. With a shrug Regina gets Snow and the Shepherd to let go of her arms and for a second she wobbles in her heels but then she quickly rights herself and then turns to address her two least favorite people in this curse free town.

"I'll have you know I didn't need Emma's help. But as usual with all you Charmings she just charged in...entirely uninvited." Regina said as she heard Henry's footsteps going up the carpeted staircase. He of course was eavesdropping but at least he's not running off to play hero. "Where is all this newfound understanding coming from? One would think after being awoken from a twenty-eight year curse you would be more than thrilled to banish your enemy that just won't die."

Snow White gulps because of course she had thought about doing that very thing before the Wraith attack. But then again so much of Mary Margaret is a part of her now and it suddenly doesn't matter anymore if their old land exists or not. Because Emma grew up in this land and the Enchanted Forest wouldn't have anything to offer her daughter, even if she is a princess.

"Regina, my daughter used her magic on you." Snow White said with a heavy sigh. "Magic, she didn't even know she had. You should know better than anyone what happens when emotions are a part of magic."

A memory of Emma standing in front of a mirror floats up from Regina's subconciousness again to tease her. The Emma who stepped through the mirror was apparently very real and now she's walking right into the imp's clutches. Regina feels an obligation to help, to make it right since the hapless Savior did try to help her, but in the end even without all of the memory Regina truly didn't need Emma's help. Regina did get back here on her own terms and its then she feels the urge to keep a promise. The memory is half-formed but it makes Regina's eyes instantly fill. The price she agreed to, the cost of her redemption is freeing Daniel.

"We don't have time for hand holding and meaningful crying jags." Regina said while trying to straighten her suit in an effort to hide the impending tears until she gets them under control. She knows she's going to cry later but not now. "Because if you're serious about keeping your hero titles then I would suggest getting over to the imp's cheap palace of collective embezzlement and kicking the door in to save you daughter."

"Emma made Gold help." Prince Charming said with the utmost confidence, even though he hasn't forgotten that Emma has made a deal with Rumpelstiltskin already. "Why would she be in danger?"

Regina rolls her eyes, "You must be joking."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Prince Charming said while he crosses his arms over his chest. "We're not nearly as incompetent as you would believe, Regina. I'm not afraid of Gold and you had better believe that if he hurts a single hair on my daughter's head that I will run him through with my sword."

Regina runs a hand through her hair and then places both of her hands on her hips, "Fine, you two hero types will stay here with my son and I'll go fetch Sheriff Swan from the clutches of the playful kitten you seem to think Rumpelstiltskin has become."

"Just wait, Regina." Snow White said while seriously thinking about reaching out to physically restrain the woman who still means a lot to her even after everything. "Emma will be back here. You've only been back less than twenty minutes."

Regina only shakes her head and turns on her heels; walking towards the closed door of the study. Being in this room feels familiar to her for many reasons but some of them are not rooted to any past or current memory.

"We're not done talking about this, Regina." Snow White threatens as much as she dares given the other person's state; frazzled with the illusion of put together. "I want to talk about this. Things have changed since what happened the day the curse broke."

"Put a pin in it, Blanchard." Regina said as she pushes open the door to her study. "This conversation is tabled until I say otherwise. In the meantime, make yourself useful and keep Henry safe. I can just see him charging over to Gold's and that's the last thing any of us need."

Mary Margaret for once holds her tongue while a memory of Regina telling her to 'make herself useful' before fills her thoughts. Mary Margaret remembers comforting a crying Henry at the hospital before she knew he was her grandson. She smiles at the past but then she remembers how hurt Regina acted when baby Henry started crying again as soon as he was placed back in Regina's eager arms. Snow White feels so conflicted but instead of being what Regina would perceive as difficult she nods her acceptance. David meanwhile walks up behind Mary Margaret and places his hand on her shoulder.

"We'll stay with Henry then, be careful Regina." David said loud enough for her to hear before the door to the study swings closed behind her.

What the hell is she doing? Running after Emma Swan is the last thing Regina's ever pictured herself doing. The only time she had come close to that was when Emma helped to carry her out of the fire at the Town Hall. Regina decides to check on Henry before she goes anywhere, so she grabs the carved banister and holds onto it for support as she climbs the stairs. Regina can feel her magic simmering just out of reach; like calling out to someone in a wind storm but they obviously can't hear you. Regardless, her magic is there and it's a strange and wonderful feeling all over again.

When Regina nudges the partially open door to her son's room she sees Henry perched on his bed flipping through that infernal storybook. She has to make this quick before she loses her nerve. After all, if Emma is in need of help the imp won't hesitate to clear the books on her too. This might be the last time Regina sees her son and the best part of this is at least he doesn't hate her like he did.

"Henry, will you stay here with Mary Margaret and David...please?"

"Sure, but are you going somewhere?" Henry said as he closed the storybook and placed the heavy tome beside him on the bed. "Are you going to check on Emma?"

Regina steps through the threshold and into her son's room. Not too many days ago she cried as hard as she ever had into his pillow.

"Yes, because I don't trust Gold."

Henry moves off his bed and walks towards his mother whose lovely brown eyes are glistening with tears.

"So if Emma's in trouble you're going to save her?"

Regina takes a deep breath and smiles at the small boy standing in front of her, "Yes, I promise."

Henry smiles and then throws his arms around Regina's waist and she instantly returns the gesture by holding him tightly to her. Regina nearly sobs at his actions and the simple display of affection she hasn't seen from him in months. Regina loses her composure a little when the thought occurs to her that had she stayed dead Henry just might have mourned her.

"You'll come back, I know it." Henry said as he squeezed her waist as tight as his little arms could. "You can be one of the good guys now."

A phoenix from the ashes; Regina thinks, if only it could be like that. But then again so much of her life has been lived in the ashes of her ruin.

"You were always the only person who I felt that believed in me, Henry." Regina said as her voice cracked from the tears she could no longer keep in check. "But I almost gave you up when I found out who your birthmother was so she wouldn't come looking for you, to take you away from me."

Henry lets go of Regina and steps back from the familiar and comforting embrace. Regina smiles and wipes the tears off her cheeks before she kneels down so she can look into her son's eyes.

"I changed my mind though and I kept you because I couldn't let go of you. I didn't care that Emma was The Savior and that she would break my curse, or rather Rumpelstiltskin's curse, what mattered was that I couldn't lose you. And that's the truth Henry even if it makes you hate me that much more."

The small boy sees the honesty in his mother's words; even without the tears on her face he would've known it anyway. Perhaps true understanding will take a few more years for ten year old Henry but that doesn't matter now.

Henry reaches out and pulls his mother into another hug, "I don't hate you. I love you, Mom. And I'll be here waiting for you to come home."

Regina hugs Henry back for a few seconds longer until they both let go. When Regina closes the door to her son's room it's with Henry by her side. They both walk down the staircase to find Mary Margaret and David waiting for them but still no Emma.

At Gold's pawnshop the large mirror sitting in his backroom continues to glow and shimmer as the proprietor himself stands by. Gold has been keenly watching over the last two hours to see what would come through. Gold and Rumpelstiltskin's expectations are one and the same; a blonde lifeless shell tossed back through, because the realm Miss Swan went to has no need for vessels that are no more than decorated blood bags. A pleased smirk begins to spread across his lips as the mirror starts to ripple; it's signal for when something is going into it or coming out of it.

To Emma walking through that mirror has been like being underwater but without getting soaked, even though she held her breath every single time she stepped through. The trip to get Regina was meaningless and Emma had hoped for a different outcome, not that Regina coming back without her help is a bad thing. Emma turns away from the empty blackness and steps back into the mirror. She keeps her eyes closed because once again the pressure of stepping through that mirror feels like going underwater. So when Emma steps through back into Gold's shop she can't see what's waiting for her until it's too late.

Emma's eyes spring open when she feels herself being picked up but when she goes to struggle she finds that she can't move. Emma then tries to get a better look at her predicament and to her utter astonishment she against the wall and high off the floor in Gold's backroom. When Emma glances down her body there are no visible restraints and it's then that she recalls Gold has magic too. Emma tries to test the limits of what she can't see and the effort is doubly worthless as she feels her bonds get tighter. Emma tries to take a deep breath and finds that she can't without causing a fair amount of pain, so she stops struggling and the bonds loosen a fraction.

"I should have known you would come charging back through that mirror." Gold said with a sneering grin and his gold capped tooth catches the light in the room. "Triumphant and utterly proud of yourself, like all the other hero types."

Emma looks down at her captor who was supposed to be helping her. She should've known better than to show her back to this douchebag and boy does Gold have it ass backwards. Emma feels the furthest thing from triumphant, especially now.

At the sight of Emma Swan's distress Rumpelstiltskin feels the dormant, yet familiar niggling of his true fiendish urges that he used to revel in on a hourly basis. He's gone too long without this kind of fervor.

"You know Miss Swan, now that the curse is broken I don't need you anymore. And I've decided that I would prefer ripping your heart out of your chest and then crushing it than to have you or your family meddling in my affairs ever again."

For a few seconds Emma believed that she could be more than what she is, but like always reality is like a bucket of ice cold water waiting to be dumped on her. Dreams are foolish; they never paid off one fucking bill. Emma doesn't feel like a knight or a savior, but more like a pawn which is the most expendable piece on the chessboard and that sucks.

"Gold, I'm the Sheriff of this town and I'm pretty sure this isn't the Enchanted Fucking Forest." Emma said while she tries to reach for her gun on reflex, only to realize she can't move and furthermore that she doesn't have it on her. "You can't just kill me. Mary Margaret and David won't believe any kind of bullshit story you could spin them about me disappearing. They know I'm here."

"Oh yes I can kill you. And as for your parents I can dispose them just as easily." Gold said as he moved out from behind the workbench and then he tossed his walking cane which splintered magnificently against the wall by Emma's head. She didn't flinch of course. "I brought magic back so I can do whatever I want when I want. And that dearie is what having power really means."

The ordinary man who once lived in a hovel and clothed himself in rags, only to trade up for scaly skin and reptile eyes is now a man who is a mix of both but dressed much better. Emma hasn't seen the fairy tale version of the man in front of her, but she holds onto her will anyway as Gold slowly moves towards her. The invisible bonds holding her to wall tighten again and Emma gasps for a shallow breath.

"Deeps breaths, dearie. You don't have too many more left."

Gold stops less than a foot from Emma's elevated body. And with a single gesture Emma drops down enough so Gold doesn't have to reach up to take her heart.

"What are you doing?" Emma said through gritted teeth.

"I told you already." Gold said with a wicked spreading grin. "I'm going to rip out your heart and crush it. However, you being The Savior makes the procedure...tricky."

Emma tries to struggle again but the bonds tighten to the point that her arms pressing against her sides are starting to put too much pressure on her ribs. Emma stops and glares at Gold who is still grinning at her.

"Surely, you realize you are like a helpless fish caught in a net now. And I bet that I can render a powerful potion from the fine grains of your heart. And I say grains because that will be all that's left when I squeeze the life out of it, dearie."

"Fuck you."

Gold chuckles and with a gesture a deep red smoke fills his hand and as the smoke clears he's suddenly holding a dagger with a curved blade. Gold always does his homework and what little bit he doesn't know about magic, which isn't much, he finds. During the curse and well before Gold read up on all the goes into making a Savior and what her powers would be and of course the limitations. Gold knows that the Savior's heart is protected by her magic, but he found a way around that restriction.

"Now be a good girl and hold very still while I cut out your heart."

Emma feels like she's going to pass out from not getting enough oxygen and if that makes getting her heart cut out less painful then so be it.

"Not another move, imp." Regina said while in her head she thinks: if only the naive little princess and her sheep herder could see just how right she called Miss Swan's choice in aide.

The dark sultry voice wakes Emma up even past how lightheaded she feels from the lack of oxygen. Emma raises her head up and through the dim in her vision she sees Regina. But why would Regina come to help her, save her?

Gold smirks and turns around to address his former pupil and favorite puppet, "If you're smart dearie, you'll turn around and go back home with your tail tucked between your legs. And besides, I'm about to do you a favor by ridding you of the thorn in your side, otherwise known as Miss Swan."

Regina glares at the man who has engineered a good portion of her misery. But Regina also dares to spare a glance at The Savior who is strung up on the wall with dark magic and it's squeezing the life out of her like a constricting python. Regina doesn't have full use of her magic but she has some. Her anger was enough to teleport outside and she had more than enough to break the ward on the store.

"How sweet...you doing me a favor after all these years." Regina said as she stepped further into Rumple's backroom. The place looks like a thrift store threw up a junk store. "But if it's all the same I don't need you doing me any so called favors, so you can shove your favor up your favorite dark hiding place."

Gold flushes with anger but he masks it with a sneer, "You're not powerful enough to stop me, dearie."

"Today I am."

Gold smirks and then gestures with his free hand and the next thing Regina feels is the wind knocked out of her as she slams into the wall close to Emma. Quickly, Regina brings up the equivalent of a shield or she'll end up bound like Emma. Regina then feels Gold's dark magic reach for her but its unable to latch on.

"Very good." Gold said with thinly masked distaste pretending to be amused sarcasm. "I didn't teach you that trick but it's pleasing to see you've learned something useful over the years."

Regina gets to her feet and with a smirk she summons every sword, axe and anything that will pass for a blade in Gold's shop. The swords in a bin behind one of the display cases out in the front of the store rattles but then all four of them free themselves from the other useless items. More weapons amass out of the junk; a mace, three small throwing axes assemble, and then in a split second all of them head straight for Gold.

Gold grins and with a wave of his dagger the array of weapons dissolve into nothing mid-air, "Is that the best you've got, dearie?"

While all this is going on around Emma she's realizing that Gold's divided focus has caused her bonds to relax enough that she can breathe better. And to be honest watching Regina throw her magic around is impressive on any given day, but even more so from a woman who is back from the dead.

"I'm just getting warmed up, Rumple." Regina taunted and this time she directs her magic to Emma's invisible bonds; they break and Emma slips to the floor. "Shall we keep going Dark One? Or are you not done throwing your destructive tantrum over Belle?"

Regina's words have the desired effect. Rumpelstiltskin could give a shit about the Swan girl on the floor. Regina smiles and steps around the small space until she's near the doorway that leads to the storefront.

"You must have a death wish, Your Majesty."

"Hardly, but to rehash our conversation before you sent the Wraith after me I ask you: Did I hurt your precious Belle? No, I didn't. But I did I keep her away from the likes of you because I could, yes. And yes, I would do it again to guarantee your misery. What a young woman like her sees in a vile creature like you I'll never understand."

"I heard you the first time Your Majesty and I care for your more thorough explanation even less." Gold sneers before throwing his dagger which disappears in a haze of red smoke before it could strike Regina; who didn't flinch even in the slightest way. Gold can't take the chance of using his dagger as a weapon since anyone who gets their hands on it can control him. "So what'll it be, Madam Mayor? A snail or perhaps just a slimy slug without its mobile home? Or how about this for starters?"

With another inane gesture Rumpelstiltskin sends Emma Swan's barely conscious form sailing right into Regina. Emma's body hits Regina with enough force that they ending up breaking through the wooden and glass door of the old empty cabinet Regina was standing next to. Emma is heavier than she looks and is solid on top of her. If Regina wasn't functioning at half her strength she would've pushed her off without having to strain a bit.

"Miss Swan, I need you to wake up and move now."

Regina's words do get an acknowledgement from Emma who fumbles around with her unsteady hands until she finds support on Regina's arms. But then something unexpected happens; like a fire that had been smoldered to nearly ash, only to be revived with fresh kindling, Regina feels that ever present thrum in her veins again. Regina feels her magic only far stronger and by God twenty-eight long years without her magic's seductive embrace is too long to go without. Regina feels more powerful than she's ever been. She knows that she siphoned a healthy amount of magic off of Emma, or maybe Emma gave it to her. It doesn't matter. Regina moves Emma off of her, gently actually, and then gets to her feet.

"Impressive, dearie." Rumpelstiltskin said but in truth he is at loss with what he just witnessed. The Savior just shared her magic with Regina, but then in the next second he recalls how Emma's magic preserved Regina in her too brief death. "Do keep reminding me why I chose to teach you."

Regina smirks even though she feels glass imbedded in her back just under one of her shoulders and then no sooner than she realized her physical state she then starts to heal it. Regina smiles widely and it's a smile of profound satisfaction. Then things become even more promising when Emma gets to her feet. A small pawnshop backroom is hardly the ideal venue for a magical showdown with three powerful practitioners. Even though one of them is no more than a little yellow canary about to be caught in the crossfire by two very large hungry cats.

"Two against one or rather one and half since Miss Swan doesn't know what she's doing." Gold said with a sneer that makes his slimly yet expensive suit appear cheap on him. "What wonderful odds. I do need some healthy practice since I've gone without magic as long as you have my dear Regina."

Emma Swan doesn't know what the fuck she's doing. Magic is something she thought was only in the Harry Potter books; not something she would ever possess in real life. Emma thinks Gold looks every bit like the villain he is. Then there's Regina and well to Emma she thinks Regina looks like some fierce disheveled dark goddess in a power suit, and shit she looks hot in that vest.

Regina smirks at Gold before she sends out her magic. The purple beam is lighter and it has white swirling through it, but before it can hit Gold square in the chest it clashes with his own dark red magic.

"Not bad, dearie. But let's turn it up a bit more."

Emma watches the push between them with obvious awe. Rumpelstiltskin looks only mildly taxed while Regina is gritting her teeth. It's then that Emma realizes that if Regina's magic fails then Gold's will surely kill her. Suddenly Emma feels warm and strong again and then as if by design an invisible force whips through Emma's hair as she summons up all her power. She has to protect Regina; saving people isn't about doing it so you'll get some kind of reward later.

Regina doesn't see Emma, but if she could she would see The Savior's hands glowing white with magic. What Regina does see though is the hard push of white magic that hits Gold along with her magic. Regina only cuts off her magic as the Dark One goes flying over his workbench to hit the bookcase behind it and then lands on his ass. The impact is proper enough that the dusty browned gold-red tapestry that hangs beside the bookcase falls down, as do several shelves, books and various other junk that's on the bookcase. The white stuffed owl that Emma thinks looks like Hedwig manages to stay perched on the top of the otherwise ruffed up bookcase.

Gold smirks a little though he's a touch winded because his favorite pupil still has that fire inside. But it will never be enough to stop him cold, even if the Savior has clearly chosen to fight with her Queen.

"Regina, Regina." Gold taunted just loud enough for anyone to hear. "The woman whose name means 'Queen'. The woman who would be Queen but I molded her into a useful monster, so I could use her."

The old blue kerosene lantern that is mostly soot covered sitting on his workbench shakes. As Gold looks around his space more forgotten items move on their own. All of the empty wood picture frames rattle against the walls that they're leaning on. The glass globe on the kerosene lamp explodes and Gold summons his magic to block the glass from striking him. The small amount of kerosene fuel in the lamp leaks out from a destroyed bottom and spreads itself out like it's being told where to move. Gold grunts as he gets up off the floor; Regina's scare tactics are for children cowering under their beds, not him. But then as the Dark One opens his palm and ignites a fireball in it, the collection of old radio's on the shelf beside him all turn on to an array of squelching static decay.

"You both aren't powerful enough to stop me." Gold said over the noise of the radios that aren't plugged in. "But I admire your efforts."

The already summoned fireball in Regina's hand is burning bright. In fact it's been heated to such a degree that the flames rolling at the bottom of the ball are glowing blue.

"Regina." Emma said as she placed her had on Regina's bicep like she did earlier. "No killing. Haven't you had enough of that? Cause I have."

The Mayor knows that if she did in fact kill Rumpelstiltskin she would then become the Dark One and that is a curse she wants no part of. But maybe the hottest fireball she has ever summoned in her life along with an accelerant will put a permanent crease in Gold's pompous ass.

"If I were you, dearie, I would do it and make it count because this is the only chance you'll ever get."

Regina's magic isn't what's causing the radios to do that awful screeching, it's Emma and her magic isn't totally under her control.

"Regina don't." Emma pleads but if this stalemate continues she's going to put Gold's lights out herself. "I will arrest him and we can find a way to hold him."

Regina rolls her fingers around the fireball as though she were caressing it like a stress ball, "The dagger, the great Dark One's dagger is the only way to control him."

Gold smirks and then seeing his chance he throws his fireball full force at Regina. Seeing the impact coming Regina throws her fireball and it strikes Gold's perfectly.

Emma has a second to see the impending explosion before it happens. She rushes Regina's as her magic reaches out to Regina to shield them both from the magical equivalent of a flash bomb. Even though they're protected by a globe of pure white magic they both feel the heat of the blast, even though it only lasts a few seconds.

Regina doesn't recall closing her eyes but when she opens them she notices Emma's arms around her and Emma's forehead pressing into her shoulder. Regina ignores the embrace to watch the magical shield simmering around them dissipates gradually before flickering out completely. Regina then almost expects Emma to sag into her but she doesn't. The Savior is more powerful than she even knows if she can unknowingly jumpstart Regina's magic, provide an impressive magical blast and then shield them both and yet remain on her feet.

"Would you kindly let go of me, Miss Swan."

Emma's eyes spring open and she instantly feels embarrassment but it passes. Emma has come to terms about why she's drawn to Regina and she's not ashamed; why should she be? Feelings returned or not they're not wrong.

"Sorry, but I had to make sure and touching you was the only way I could be sure that my magic would work for the both of us." Emma said in one long ramble while looking around at the blackened condition of Gold's backroom. "Hey, where'd he go?"

"How would I know? It's not like we were in the middle of pleasantries and he was giving me his change of address, Miss Swan."

Emma scoffs but at the same time she almost wants to smile because a sniping Regina is something she would've sorely missed.

"I'm glad you're back, Madam Mayor."

"Are you?"

Emma frowns but then Regina simply turns and pushes through the thick curtains that hang over the doorway to the store front.

"Hey, wait a minute."

Regina tunes out because quite frankly she's absolutely brimming with magic, but at the same time she can't remember ever feeling this tired in her life. And that includes the first few months of Henry's life when he just couldn't stand the idea of sleeping for more than two hours at a time every single night.

"Regina, where are you going now?" Emma said as she starts to reach out for Regina's arm again. "You can't be serious about going after again Gold already."

Regina whirls around from the entry door to Gold's now kerosene reeking shop to see Emma's hand dangerously close to touching her.

"I'm going home, Miss Swan. I'm tired but my son is waiting for me. And by the way your parents are there too, so if it wouldn't be too much trouble could you collect them as soon as possible to save me the trouble of throwing them out."

Emma nearly laughs because she can tell that Regina is lying about being annoyed that Mary Margaret and David are there.

"Sure I'll get right on that. So your car or mine?"

Regina glares at Emma, "I transported here by magic."

"So my car then."

Regina rolls her eyes at Emma before turning back to the door and yanking it open. The poor bell over the doorway rings violently and Emma cringes a little because she's going to be riding in her very small car with that attitude. Emma briefly gives a passing thought to when will be good time to talk to Regina about what happened in that other realm. Emma thinks probably never because she is well acquainted with Regina's temper and now the woman has magic to go with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: "Love is a Losing Game" by Sam Smith, "Somewhat Damaged" by Nine Inch Nails & "Hearts At War" by HIM


	8. Regina

"Is this what teen spirit smells like?" I said while trying not to inhale too much through my nose and don't even get me started on the uncomfortable vinyl seat I'm sitting on. "But frankly, I can't tell whether it's the circa nineteen seventies free love remnants or just the natural musk of this heap that I'm being subjected to."

Emma grumbles under her breath something about me bashing the Nirvana song as she shifts to a higher gear on this aging yellow bubble of annihilation I'm being transported in. This car is not a fitting implement to provide a means of travel to the person who has become the harbinger of my ruination. Honestly, I can't decide if it's the combination of this car's cheery color that ruins it or if it's just the cutesy appearance in general. I suppose I should be laughing though because when I was worrying about the prophesized Savior I didn't picture her storming into town in an old yellow Bug that's for sure.

"Look, I get it." Emma said with a sigh. "You're tired, hopped up on magic and crankier than usual. But I can hold my tongue if you can."

"Fair enough, Miss Swan."

I'm going to count myself lucky then since Emma hasn't decided to do something as asinine as turn on the radio to annoy me. If she does opt to do that I won't be held accountable for reaching across the empty divide between us and slapping her across the face; her assureable obnoxious music tastes aren't punch worthy to my knowledge and I would like to keep it that way. As I'm jostled along the only noise is the sound of the engine; Emma is apparently going to keep her promise and just drive. The streets pass by largely unnoticed by me because I've seen them all before, so many times and the view never changed but that's in the past now.

I wonder now that the curse is broken will time speed up here. Will people leave until there is nothing left but a ghost town? Maybe I should've left decades ago and started over instead of holding onto my revenge. If I'm going for uncensored though I know that I held onto those feelings because it was all I had and all I was going to have. Those thoughts are only fit for dark places and as Emma and I draw closer to my neighborhood I can think of only one question that's worth breaking the near silence. Emma's car isn't exactly quiet except for when it's not running of course. In fact I don't think the manufacturer bothered with any type of sound insulation aside from the thin and clearly worn carpeting under my feet.

"How did I get from the Sheriff's station to my house?"

Emma slows down and signals her turn on my street. The clicking of the signal indictor reminds me of an old wooden boxed metronome. After making the turn Emma presses the gas pedal down harder and the engine winds up faster and she shifts gears again.

"I brought your body home. Henry, he…uh, found you like that and we decided to take you home."

"I see."

"Do you? Because I don't think you do, Regina."

I will not rise to nibble on the bait Emma has dangled before me nor will I spend too much time looking in her direction, other than to make sure she's not trying to kill us both with her driving. My body has been through a wringer and I suspect much more than that, regardless of me not being able to recall a damn thing beyond one painful request I'm supposed to honor.

"Oh, by the way I texted Mary Margaret a few minutes ago and she took Henry to our apartment for the night. But I'll bring the kid back over to have breakfast with you tomorrow. I promise."

I swallow roughly and grip the seatbelt across my chest in my hand, "So that's how it starts now that the curse is over?"

"What?"

"You're taking Henry aren't you and it's not like you'll have to drag him along kicking and screaming." I said with obvious distain to mask my feeling of defeat. The car swerves a little and I turn my head to glare at Emma. "And for the record I didn't believe for one second all that feel-good nonsense your mother tried to spoon feed me earlier when Henry just so happened to be in the room."

Emma clenches her jaw and accelerates more, "You...I, the kid was there with you the whole time! I just thought after Gold and everything else you might need some time to decompress and rest. I guess it was stupid of me to think that far ahead."

I almost feel sorry for the aggravating woman and her noble intentions that are wasted on me. But speaking of things looming ahead I see my house; it looks foreboding and lonely without a single sign of life inside.

"What I consider stupid is you attempting to do my thinking for me, Miss Swan."

"Enough with the 'Miss Swan' shit!"

"No! I'll address you as such for as long as I damn well please!"

"See this is why I told Mary Margaret to take the kid home with her for the night!"

Just as I'm about to really lash Miss Swan the car stops abruptly and I dart my hand out to brace against the dashboard to keep from slamming into it face first.

"Just what are you trying to accomplish, Miss Swan?" I shouted as Emma kills the engine, tears off her seatbelt and then pushes open her door but doesn't get out. "Because if you think vehicular manslaughter is enough to do me in then you better dig deeper in that brain of yours for a better idea."

Emma spares me a choice glare while the keys hanging in the ignition swing and clink together, "Do you even know which end is up anymore, Regina?"

"You've got some nerve to talk to me like that." I said while removing my seatbelt and opening the passenger door. "But for now you can take it as an exceedingly small and shallow victory because I'm too tired to keep fighting with you now."

I step out of Emma's tweety bird colored bumper car and shut the door without slamming it even though the inclination is there. I twist my stiff neck to the side and the bones pop and I wince from how awful it sounds. Thanks to Miss Swan's efforts time as started to march on again and in no time flat we all will be on our way to being decrepit. I don't even like to think about how old I actually am anymore.

"Look, I'm sorry for saying that especially after everything you've been through lately."

I stop walking and slowly turn around to face Emma, who is leaning against her car with her arms resting on the roof of it. The almost pensive expression on her face is highlighted by the outside lights on my house that have come alive due to the motion detectors aimed at the driveway.

"Anyway before you go I just wanted to say; thanks for coming to save me, and I've never said that to anyone before, Regina." Emma looks down at her car's roof. "No one has ever come back for me."

I know plenty about Emma's background and enough about the person here now. On any other day I would like nothing better than to brush her off but if this is my last second chance then some concessions will have to be made. I have my limits though and tonight will not be the end all be all. I'm still human and I know what it costed her to say that to me of all people.

"You're welcome."

Emma looks up at me and almost smiles, "But...why did you do it?"

The easy answer would be to say because I promised my son but I'm not giving her that. Nor will I give her the real answer which is: 'that's what a good person would do' as she so spouted to me once. Emma is not better than me but I am going to try to be better at dealing with things for my son if nothing else.

"Does it matter? You survived, we both did, and we both will live to fight another day in this charming town."

Emma looks at me strangely, "That's what you're going with?"

"What do you want me to say, Miss Swan?"

Emma leans away from her car and walks around the open driver's side door and then past the front end of the car. The Savior strides through the headlight beams on her car and I watch her form cast a shadow on my house instead of the actual menace of a woman who is moving towards me.

"The truth would be nice but you're not nice, at least not to me."

Emma is wearing the same clothes I saw her in when we went to go fetch Rumple's true love potion that he stashed away like the hoarder he is. God, I feel awful and the extra boost Emma's magic gave me is slipping away rapidly. I sigh because this woman is relentless and my usual methods to chase her away have never worked so maybe I should try something new. The ugly truth might just do it but I'm not foolish enough to hope that it will.

"Truth it is then, Miss Swan. So how about this; you cannot live the life I have and expect everything to work out just because you want it too. I know that's about as fruitful as an endeavor as trying to find a bag of gold at the end of a rainbow." I said evenly and I don't care whether Emma recognizes it as my personal truth or not. "And to add to the sub total of all that I've expended, Rumpelstiltskin or Gold if you prefer, is at least a few hundred years old and well adapted to getting what he wants by any means necessary. You would do well to never forget that since I've recently learned that lesson the hard way."

Emma frowns, "Christ Regina." She said and then runs her hand through her long blonde hair. "We really do make a good team in every sense of the word. You're as big of an emotional train wreck as I am, but I just want to know why you came for me."

"A word of caution, Miss Swan, don't speak to me like that again."

"How the hell are we supposed to get to know one another if I'm not allowed to see how we measure up?"

"Measure up?" I said while placing my hands on my hips. "Do you know what you have to look forward to now, Miss Swan?"

"What's that?" Emma said tersely and I glance down at her hands that tighten into fists. "Let's have it, Madam Mayor, enlighten me since you can't answer a simple question."

"The Savior business will run you into ground mind, body and soul until there's nothing left of you. If you go about with the grand notion of bringing back everyone's happy ending there will be no peace for you either, and God help you if someone falls in love with you and you don't love them back. But knowing how you are I bet you'll forgo what you need and what you don't to satisfy what that extra special someone will demand of you."

"You have no right to rip me apart like this."

"Why not, Miss Swan? Oh wait, I suppose I shouldn't because you have some sort of insane crush on me?"

"Don't do that."

"Do what, Miss Swan?"

"Belittle me because you're uncomfortable." Emma said as she steps closer to me, too close. "I made a deal with Gold, to save you, like I did with Ashley. But I guess since he's on the lamb now maybe not?"

"He hasn't gone far, Sheriff Swan. He's trapped here just like everyone else. Until he figures out a way to cross the line because I've always suspected that the curse was no more than a stepping stone for the Dark One." I said while standing my ground and then I look into Emma's sea green eyes. "And I don't owe you anything. I didn't need your help."

"I never said you did, Regina!" Emma nearly shouted and even though she's only half-way lit by the lights near my house I see that her eyes are becoming glossy. "Why do you have to be like this? I'm just trying to help and I'm trying my best to be nice to you. Things would be better if we could be civil but I'm probably the only one between the two of us who's willing to try."

"Then let me speed this along to save you any further disappointment; you're wasting your time, Miss Swan."

Emma frowns and I halfway expect her to smack me to the vent the frustration that she is clearly running on. If she does lay a hand on me though, I will throw her as far and as hard as I can with my magic. I don't care that she's been roughed up already by Rumpelstiltskin. But by the looks of her I believe her magic has already healed any damage that might have been done by him.

"I guess I am then. But when it's all said and done you don't get to throw it back in my face that I didn't try, Regina."

"Good evening, Sheriff Swan."

I don't bother with watching the Sheriff of Storybrooke herself hop in her car, slam the door and then snap the concept of speed limits over her knee like to twig as she speeds off in her little yellow go kart. But I will admit my surprise that the tires actually bark on the pavement; who knew that a car with an engine only marginally bigger than that of a lawnmower could do that. The first thing I intend to do as soon as I'm inside my house is get out of these clothes that I've been wearing far too long. I can't remember how many mornings ago it's been since I chose this outfit. It's been one crazy instance after another and pretty much all of them was entirely my doing.

I wish I hadn't made that damn turnover now since it seems to have been the final catalyst needed for my outright destruction. And I don't want to think about Henry lying in that hospital bed anymore. But I really don't want to think about why Emma Swan cares about me in her profoundly misguided way, and as of now I don't want to scratch beneath the surface of that continuing development. No one has shown any interest in my well-being in decades. Why now and why her? The front door to my house is unlocked and as I push it open and walk inside I expect to be greeted by nothing but the emptiness. I don't bother with locking the door behind me because I dare the next person to come after me. I will not be held accountable for defending myself now that I have my magic again.

Out of pure habit or maybe it's because of my thoughts on the ill-fated pastry I head straight for my kitchen instead of my bedroom. The Dark Curse certainly crafted a kitchen fit for a master chef and of course I taught myself to cook as a means to fill the time when I wasn't doing other things. For a moment when the curse broke I was prepared to have everything stripped from me and I don't mean the material comfort that was allotted to me. I sigh and rub my neck which feels unusually stiff and I almost laugh, because I can't decide whether it's from just being dead, lying on my sofa dead to the world for days or being thrown against the wall by Gold. On further reflection I would say it's all three and then some.

"You think too much, Mills." A deep masculine voice said and that was all I needed to call forth my magic. I don't bother with the light switch; they should be frightened since they don't know who they're dealing with. My once dark kitchen becomes lighter as the fireball in my hand grows brighter and it makes odd shadows play against the walls and my cupboards. "And aren't you just the spitfire overachiever when it comes to squabbles with Emma Swan."

My shoulders tense and I'm more than ready to go another round with whoever thought breaking into my home was a good idea.

"I swear that this fireball is hotter than usual and I'm just itching to toss it." I said while stepping past the oven; starting to make my way around the kitchen island. "I've been on a proverbial sabbatical from practicing magic but that's not to say I'm rusty. So why don't you come out of that corner you're hiding in and take your medicine for having the gall to set foot in my house. And I'll make sure that God won't help you if you've come here with the intention of having some fun with the Evil Queen."

I've never been one of those women who are afraid of being violated. I made myself sterile a long time ago and furthermore I will never allow such a thing to happen without a fight.

"I'm not here to violate you or any other such trashy things, Regina. I have more of an imagination than some single-minded hard up clown."

"Then show yourself and then I might consider letting this fireball only hit a not so tender part of yours."

The voice fills my kitchen with a deep rumbling chuckle but then the overhead lights come on and there's nothing. The lights over my stove top illuminate the gas burners and the rest of the room is as pristine as I left it, save for a single tacky-looking coffee mug sitting in the drainer.

"If you've come to kill the Evil Queen then come on and take your best shot already. I've had a long twenty-eight years with accumulated interest."

A few seconds pass and then a man steps out from around the corner from where my pantry is. He's tall at least six foot four with broad shoulders and is completely clothed in a fine all black suit with a black shirt, vest and silk tie. I could say death shouldn't look this good when it comes calling, but I'm only entertaining the notion since the last time it was a horrible beast in a raggedy cloak that sucked the life right out of me.

"I told you I'm not here to hurt you physically. You may say later on if you were asked that I did wound you emotionally though." The man said as he slowly stepped closer to the island in the middle of my kitchen. "We've met before, not too long ago, and I decided to pay you a visit to see how you're adjusting so far."

The tall man with short, wavy silver-grey hair smiles at me and then I notice his eyes; they are a startling deep violet with flaming amber lines through the iris that doesn't look like they belong on any human.

"I don't know you. And even though it's none of your business I just returned from the dead, so I you'll excuse me for neglecting my hostess manners or caring about your...concern."

The man laughs and leans down on my kitchen island until his large yet elegantly strong hands are splayed out on the marble surface. Ornate pewter cufflinks on his newly revealed sleeves catch my eye; they're misshapen skulls and then I see that the black buttons on his blazer are emblazoned with small scythes.

"I'm pleased to see that your sense of humor is functioning properly. It would be a real shame if that delightful quirk were lost to you."

I call forth another surge of the magic that's rolling through me and the fireball in my hand glows hotter, "If you don't get out of my house by the time I count down to one I'm throwing this right in your face."

The tall man cocks his head to the side and grins at me. His teeth are perfectly white and straight but two of his bottom teeth are sharp enough to be fangs and two of his upper teeth align and match just as sharply. I wouldn't compare his teeth to that of a ridiculous fictional vampire, but the sheer fact that he's showing me his teeth is a response of a true predator.

"Mills, Mills, Mills." The man chided as his grin fades and send my best glare right back at those unnatural violet eyes of his. "Don't you know me yet?"

The temperature in the room falls flat and then it feels like the tilt in the world is centered in my kitchen. My head suddenly hurts and my eyes water from the instant pain. I hear voices but not the kind I've imagined myself to be haunted by from the people who took the brunt of my wrath against Snow White. I hear voices spilling over from a life I've never lived and for second I consider casting a spell to block the sounds, but it goes silent before I can and then there's clarity in the stillness.

"Strife?"

She or rather he now grins at me again, "Correct and thank you for playing."

I roll my eyes and snuff out the fireball in my hand, "It hasn't nearly been long enough since the last time we had a get together. What brings you here?"

"We had an agreement, Regina." Strife said as he starts tapping out a rhythm with his fingers on my countertop as though he's playing an invisible piano. "I let you keep one memory, the most important one, and yet for some strange reason I think you're going to welch on your end. Tell me I'm wrong?"

"Is that really why you're here?"

Strife grins, "Well, if we looked at this ordeal crudely I would be the prostitute who rendered services without getting the payment upfront." I frown at him and cross my arms over my chest. "But in reality I know what your heart tells you before you even know it much less what you actually choose to do. Although, more than half of the time you don't bother with the listening part since you think that particular organ makes you weak."

I glare at the entity in my kitchen, "I'm not weak."

"I know." Strife said evenly but then a wider grin starts to form on his somewhat full lips. The tapping fingers against my countertop ceases. "And by the way, so you don't get any ideas, I don't have a distinctly male 'tender bit' for you to threaten with violence."

I catch myself before I roll my eyes because my threat was about as infantile as his retort and he knows it the same as I do. The most glaring thing though for me is how off-putting it is to see what was once a very beautiful statuesque woman, now as a man who supersedes any of those pretty faced men in movies or television.

"Hey, Regina!" Emma shouted and it's so unexpected in this moment that I forget to be angry about how she has obviously just let herself in. "I forgot to tell you that I stayed here overnight with Henry. And I didn't come back to crash here or as you would say squat here just to get your goat." Strife smirks at me as Emma's voice grows closer to us. "And before I got too far away I thought...Oh for fucks sake! I didn't want to leave things like that. I mean you just love to be difficult for the..."

Emma stops right beside my large grey cupboards as does her loud mouth, and without even taking an educated guess it's not hard to figure out exactly who has silenced her in ways I could only hope to.

"Who the hell are you?"

So much for silence. And then whether prompted by my thoughts or the whole scenario in general Strife smiles at Emma and I swear the woman nearly blushes. I'm well aware of how attractive the 'it' in my kitchen has chosen to present itself. The male or female version, if you even desire to classify it as such, because in truth both forms are equally appealing.

"I was just leaving, Sheriff Swan." Strife said while straightening up his posture and adjusting his sleeves. "It's getting late but I'm an acquaintance of Regina's and I thought I would pop in and check on her before I went back home."

Strife isn't a fool and I admire how truthfully he stated his presence, but Emma is clueless as to who or rather what she's looking at. I'm not worried for the Savior though because that would imply I care and I don't.

"That's nice." Emma said with well-placed sarcasm as she moves further into the kitchen until she's standing fairly close beside me. "But who are you exactly?"

"That's an excellent question with a really long answer, so I'll give you the short version." Strife said and then he winks at Emma. "I'm the guardian of the realm you bravely rushed off to in an attempt to save Regina, but one my favorite souls saved herself as she was meant to. There, now you're all up to speed...Blondie."

"You're funny but my name is Emma or don't you know that?"

Strife chuckles and his smooth, unlined face catch the light and his chiseled features look even more handsome. Unlike other men he has no beard or any artfully groomed stubble of any kind, but those eyes of his are just as fierce as ever and the flowing amber lines in the violet hued pupils are truly otherworldly, as they're meant to be, and not for the sake of some unorthodox beauty. I suspect this spirit's eyes are a symbol and the one part of its being that cannot be changed or even disguised.

"I know all about you, Emma Swan. We'll have our time together but you know what, I'm not going to tell you how many years you have left. It would spoil all the fun." Strife smiles briefly and I would too if it were me dealing out this hand to the inflated Savior. "But I will say that your choices in the coming years, if you keep going at the rate others set for you, it will be a hell of a lot sooner rather than later."

Emma swallows so roughly that I hear her almost choke, "That's not possible. Just who the fuck are you?"

"Oh, but it is Savior." Strife said as he smooths his hands down the front of his suit. "You should listen to Regina about your growing starter business of saving lives. It's a noble idea, selfless to the end but these people in this town are the one's responsible for their own happiness, not you. And if you choose to stick your nose in those affairs you'll pay dearly for it."

"Is that a threat?"

Strife smirks, "It's the future, your future. Unless you make different choices and stop worrying about what other people think you should be doing. You can't save or please everyone, Emma."

Emma narrows her eyes, "Are you a God of some kind?"

"When I leave this house you'll forget you ever saw me." Strife said as he moves closer to the enraptured and defiant Savior. "So if I answered your question it wouldn't matter in the short or long term. Ask me something else, Emma."

"What will happen to Regina?"

"Is that all?" Strife said quietly while he steps into Emma's personal space and she cranes her head back to look up at him. "I know there are more words or should I say a name that you tacked onto the end of that sentence in your thoughts."

Emma doesn't move a muscle under his scrutiny and neither do I for that matter. The air in the room suddenly feels so thin that if I decided to take a deep breath I would probably faint because there's not enough oxygen available.

"You want to save the Queen more than anything, don't you, Emma?" Strife said and then I hear a small sob come from the stubborn woman whose put herself in front of a very powerful, ageless being. "Believe it or not I understand why you would covet such a notion. You and your Queen would be a beautiful, powerful pair. You both have magic and you share a son. More importantly you both have a longing for acceptance, distaste for constant disappointment, rejection and all the other shit life has thrown at you both. In short, you both were built to survive against the odds but adapting to that world has made you hard in the process."

I don't feel anything because I don't want to. I will never seek solace in the arms of my enemy's daughter. The only person I have that means everything to me is Henry. Emma has done nothing but try to take him from me and she will most likely succeed in the days ahead. It doesn't matter what Snow said this morning; naive, spoiled little princess bandits can lie just like everyone else.

Strife spares a brief glance at me and I know that's because he heard my thoughts, "What you don't realize is that if you want to save the Queen it will take years and even then she won't choose you. You make your fair share of mistakes too Emma that Regina will pay the price for. And it will all be justified in everyone else's eyes because of Regina's past but that doesn't make it right. To make this lesson shorter let's just say that your proud, angry Queen will fall victim to an old pixie dust curse and she'll latch onto its meager promise like a leech sucking for blood on impure flesh."

Emma scoffs but when I bother to look closer at her I see that her hands are shaking. Miss Swan won't remember this and neither will I but at least she's being told. I've long since forgotten about that nonsense with Tinkerbell and I'm not about to open a new can of worms. I will not allow myself to become some desperate woman who will welcome any interested man or woman for that matter with open arms and legs.

"So Regina will always pretty much hate me and that's the best it's ever going to get?"

Strife's face does the most unthinkable thing then; it softens and those eyes look less fierce, but the amber mixed in the violet still glows.

"Emma Swan, you are a good soul but you have many dark days ahead on top of all the ones you've already suffered through. But for your sake, if you desire royalty to match your own, then there is another Queen out there you could choose. She's in another realm, has magic as you do, and you two will be wonderful together when your time comes and it will. But you'll have unfortunately been worn down to accept another...type of companion before you will meet this other blonde Queen. But you let her go back to her world and I must say that the expression on your face when you hug her goodbye screams 'missed opportunity'...you allow it though."

Emma makes a choking sound and then her eyes flutter closed for a second, "That doesn't sound like much to live for."

"It's not and frankly it never really is for you mortals." Strife said and then to my surprise he reaches out and touches Emma's cheek with his fingertips and she lets him. "Having Regina in your life will make it better despite the way you two insist on locking horns. But the one thing you should try to hold onto is to not let your parents convince you to be something you are not. Your parents let you go in some grand sacrifice that they benefitted from, not you; you endured it and paid the price. Having said that you shouldn't be bitter towards their stupidity, but you should be wise enough to never let them put you into a situation where they say what will happen to you again."

Emma exhales a shaky breath, "That's not fair."

"No, it isn't. But if you'll allow me one last piece of advice let me tell you not to take your Savior job so seriously. I know everyone needs a purpose otherwise life has no meaning but as true as it is, know this: when you die everything you've done won't matter except to those you leave behind and when they're gone too it's truly finished."

I close my eyes because Henry is all I have to leave behind when I've shuffled off this mortal coil and it sticks. I can't wax poetic like Strife right now because I was dead and my legacy was and always will be one of anger and pain. Though I wouldn't care to add my two sticks on the roaring pyres of Hell if that's forgotten about me. I should be so lucky.

"Goodbye, Emma." Strife said loud enough to jar me out of my thoughts and just in time to see his fingertips trail down Emma's cheek. "And keep it real, Mills. Be decent to Sheriff Swan, you two are stronger together than separately with anyone else in this world."

I scoff at the easy jibe and the free manner to which it was uttered, "Nice to know you took time out of your schedule to romance the Savior and give her a reading while you were at it."

After the words leave my mouth I expect a gruff rebuttal from Miss Swan but it doesn't happen. In fact when I bother to look closer at the woman standing beside me I see that Emma appears to be in a suspended state. I uncross my arms from over my chest and start to reach out to Emma, but I stop when it dawns on me what I was about to do.

"You know what I said works for you too, Regina." Strife said and I startle a bit at how close he is to me now since I didn't see him move. "You will see Cora again and your favorite fairy Miss Tinkerbell and she'll bring out the old soulmate ball and chain tripe all over again. And while you're swallowing Tinks bile you'll be dealing with nasty people who take Henry away from you and I'm not talking about Emma or any of her kin that you despise so. And those are just a few of the highlights you have to look forward to soon, but the choices made in those moments are yours for the taking. Or you can just roll over like a good dog and take the scraps you get thrown."

I clench my hands into tight fists, "Why are you telling me this when I can't do anything about it now?"

"Because I can and even though my words will be washed away surely you've heard of deja'vu?" Strife said as he moves away from me and circles back around the island. "If you haven't then let's just say that's the only way I have to influence the mortals who've found me before at one time or another. In fact if I had a need for a name deja'vu would be an acceptable middle name and a rather fun one too I think."

Strife knows exactly what to say and like before I feel as though my emotions and now my powers have been muted by his presence, otherwise I would've strung him up by his heels just now. One thing he can't or mostly chooses not to control though is how I've always dared to look up to meet those judging violet eyes, but this time what I see in them is different. I see yet another level of understanding for what I am and for what's waiting for me in my so called future from this spirit who is neither all good nor all evil.

"And just for fun...thank you, Regina."

"For what?"

Strife smirks, "What you thought about me earlier; it's flattering to know I'm easy on the eyes whether I'm a woman or a man. But between you and me, I prefer being female or as close as I can get to it." He winks at me and then moves around the kitchen island and then walks out of the room. I follow after him because I can and this is my house, my real one not some warped version back in his realm. "Having admitted that though Regina, I assure you that I don't wish for the full experience on either end. Being mortal is a true unforgiving curse in my eyes and I've seen everything there is to see."

Strife walks down the short set of stairs that lead to my front door but then he stops and turns around just as I stall at the top of the stairs. That black suit of his looks as though it was made by the finest tailor; the clean lines and the cut that accentuates his masculine frame, which is all broad shoulders and a slim waistline like a swimmer.

"You have time to fulfill our agreement, Regina. I'm not unfeeling but I cannot allow you to drag it out any longer than you already have. And before you contest things I'm aware that our arrangement is new but Daniel has been dead for nearly forty years. Do right by him, set him free. Because it's within your power to let him go to a better place."

Strife reaches for the doorknob and twists it open, "Goodnight, Madam Mayor and my condolences on your loss."

I feel as stunned as Emma probably still looks in my kitchen. So much of me wants to shatter and cry like I've done countless times before, while other parts want to add more quarters to the machine that supplies the best unbridled rage. I'm seriously considering opening the front door so I can slam the damn thing closed, but that would be childish and I suddenly recall the tantrum I threw in my study so vividly in that other realm. Honestly, I'm tempted to check to see if I broke the clock that sits on my mantle even though I know nothing is out of place in my study. Gods, I woke up from my death in that same room.

"Hey Regina, what the hell is happening?" I turn around at he sound of Emma's voice and then I want to throw the last unwanted person remaining in my house out. But as Emma stumbles towards me I end up reaching out to her and she nearly pushes me down the stairs when I catch her. "Uh, I don't feel so good. I feel like I've been punched in the face. But you didn't do it this time."

Emma's weight in my arms is unsettling and then she makes it worse as she grabs my bicep and then world goes slanted. I feel like I've been punched in the face too. Emma slips out of my arms and falls to the floor unconscious and as blacks spots appear in my vision I fear that I'm going to follow her unfortunate lead. But in the blackness random images, scattered and distorted faces and the voices of many blurs then fades when I feel warmth on my face and I open my eyes. My mind flashes to the first morning I woke up to when the curse was brand new. So I sit up and look around my bedroom. The morning sunshine is coming through the open curtains and the room itself is warm. I close my eyes for a moment and run my hands through my hair.

I realize straight away that I have no memory of coming up here to lie down, and when I glance down my body I see that I'm still in my suit but my blazer and vest has been removed. Everything feels as off as ever to me but I toss off the blanket that's pooled down at my waist from when I sat up and swing my legs over the side of the bed. My shoes are beside the bed but I'm not putting those back on and my wrinkled, slept in, worn and died in for days suit is past time for a change. Something more is teetering on the edge of my memory though, but I'm going to ignore it for now in favor of a shower and a change of clothes and then some breakfast. I'm fit for another day and I'm ready to face what's next and there is always a next.

After a thorough shower that wakes up my senses more I choose my favorite dark grey suit and a blue silk button up shirt from my closet. The house is perfectly warm and feels different to me but I shrug off those thoughts because it's possibly due to the fact that I've just come back from the dead. I'm well aware that my soul traveled to another realm somewhat like a person put under a sleeping curse but normally those souls taken by a Wraith don't return. I pull on my blazer and straighten the ends of my blouse sleeves out the ends of each cuff. A familiar sadness hits me though as I slip on a pair of my favorite heels. These feelings stem from one person and it's the one element I retained from my time spent deceased that is always cropping up in my thoughts.

I will deal with the promise to lay Daniel's body to rest soon and at that moment an overlooked detail finally hits home. Sometimes you can see a punch coming and step out of the way but sometimes you enviably step into one just to see if you have what it takes to withstand the blow. Emma Swan preserved my body just as I have preserved Daniel's. I close my eyes to hold in the tears that are acutely itching to overflow. I used what small bit of light magic I could muster to save his body; I feel no hatred whatsoever when I think of him, so my dark magic was useless. But I can't be in this mindset today if I'm going to get through it, so I take a deep breath and will all these messy emotions to leave me in peace for a while.

I lean against my dresser heavily without sparing a glance towards the mirror. I end up using magic for the first time in twenty-eight years to apply my makeup even though my body still feels almost foreign; like I'm only half-way in it. With a deep sigh I move away from the dresser and open my bedroom door and then softly close it behind me before moving down the hallway. Henry's door is open and I look inside to see his bed made and then I almost see myself clutching his pillow to me as I cried the day the curse broke. Another small ache blooms in my chest but I've always known that it was coming. But then again Emma said last night she would bring him over for breakfast and seeing as it's not yet eight, she might not have been lying to make herself feel good. Emma is the offspring of the two idiots after all so I seriously doubt if their heavy-handed, always misguided and duly self-righteous ways skipped her generation.

Miss Swan is the most confounding person I have ever met and despite my demeanor towards her she seems to be hell bent on continuing to trespass in my life. The last few months before the curse broke where by far the most interesting and here we are; newly uncursed and she has chosen to remain. I will not address the now blatant affections she has been throwing at me and her attempt to save me is the most telling of them all. With another heavy sigh I close the door to Henry's room and move down the hallway. The carpet muffles my steps and as descend the stairs I hold to the banister; feeling the smooth wood glide under my palm I hear voices coming from my kitchen. There is no mistaking these voices to be anything other than real, so I hurry down the few remaining steps and briskly walk towards my kitchen.

"Hey, Mom." Henry said with a smile which throws me off for a second and then I get another shock in the form of seeing Emma Swan mucking around near my sink. "You're right on time. Emma said we should let you sleep a little longer because you needed it."

I smile down at my son and for once I have no words but then a loud clang erupts from further in my kitchen. I've always known Emma was clumsy and I've made sure to never be standing near her when she has a gun in her hand for that reason. But it's so much worse now in my mind since the woman has magic too.

"Miss Swan, if you could manage not break anything that would be a fair start in building upon our truce."

I hear Emma mumble something but I decide it's not worth looking into. Instead, I sit down at the small table with my son. I don't understand what the woman could be cooking because Henry is just eating cereal at the moment.

"Do you want some eggs and toast, Regina? Me and the kid already had some but there's more."

I startle a bit at Emma's shouting, "No thank you. I'm not very hungry."

More mumbling issues from the kitchen but I ignore it. But then as Henry continues to eat his cereal Emma finally comes out of the kitchen with a bowl in hand.

"I didn't know you could cook, Miss Swan." I said while sitting up straighter in my seat and crossing my legs under the table. "But then again pouring dry processed food out of a box and then dumping milk on it isn't exactly difficult."

"Good to see your wit is going full tilt boogie this early." Emma said and I glare at her. "But despite what you think I'm not totally useless I can cook a little bit, the eggs and toast are still good." Emma pulls out the chair across from me that has her jacket draped on it and sits down. "I'm just used to quick and easy stuff and I lived alone for a long time. So I didn't see much point in doing a whole lot of slaving away."

I'll bite down on my less than savory remarks because Henry is sitting there so content, but he stops eating and he looks up at me and smiles again. I'm not happy that Emma is here but then again she promised me Henry would be here for breakfast with me and he is. I also recall our disagreement in my driveway and then her following me inside, where apparently who the hell knows what happened, it's all one big jumbled mess. But one thing stands out among the noise in my thoughts again and it has everything to do with the person resting in the back room in my vault. I'm willing to admit now that I've never allowed myself the peace that comes after grieving when you're supposed to let go.

"That's not the way Mary Margaret sees your...cooking." Henry said while smirking in between bites of cereal. "Emma, she is still waiting for you to buy her a new toaster. She said you killed her other one with a spatula or something."

Emma gapes and then goes back to her own bowl of cereal, "Gee thanks, kid. Way to make me look good."

Henry giggles and for a second none of the awful things that have happened aren't nearly as bad. I know it's beyond silly to think that way but for me the good moments are fleeting.

"So is this arrangement permanent or is this just a supervised visitation?"

The spoon in Emma's hand drops into the cereal bowl but before she has a chance to answer Henry puts his hand on my arm.

"I'm staying here, Mom. This is my home but I want my grandparents in my life and Emma too. You said yesterday that you could do it for me or were you lying to me again?"

I hate that I had to resort to lying to my son at all, but I had no backup plan as to what I would do in my cursed state when Henry got older. It's all irrelevant now though since I was always meant to lose. I can't even say I had a twenty-eight year winning streak because Gold still managed to ensure that he was holding all the cards.

"I meant what I said, Henry. But I will not suddenly behave as though I should be grateful that I'm being tolerated for your sake and nothing else."

I know exactly how Snow and Charming really are. I'm not some innocent and I've never pretended to be, but I'll be damned if that's all Snow and her Shepherd does. I recall all too well being put in front of their firing squad so to speak until Snow cracked and called it off, while Charming sounded all too pleased with himself before he ordered the archers to shoot.

"Don't you remember yesterday, Mom?" Henry said as he moves his hand off my arm and pushes his mostly empty cereal bowl away. "Mary Margaret and David stayed with you while you were gone. They want to start over in this world and with you too. Don't you remember?"

"I do."

"Then what's the problem, Mom? I mean I've forgiven you for lying to me."

I feel Emma's eyes on me but for now I'm going to try my best to pretend she isn't there and she isn't judging me. I will give the woman credit though for quietly sitting there and just eating for once.

"Henry."

I almost reach out and touch him but I hold back because I couldn't bear seeing him flinch or move away. I know yesterday he couldn't wait for me to hold him but that could've just been due to my case of being dead.

"What's wrong, Mom?"

"Nothing, but it's time for you to get ready for school or you'll be late."

"Do I have to?"

Emma puts her spoon down in the bowl and wipes her mouth on a napkin, "Listen to your Mom, kid."

"Okay, I'll see you later then." Henry said and then pushes back his chair and leaves. I listen to him take a few steps but then I hear him rush back. The next thing I know is my son is hugging me again and it surprises me. "I love you."

I would rather not cry in front of Emma but at the moment my vision is blurry so I fear it's a lost cause.

"I love you too."

Henry lets go and runs down the hallway and then up the stairs. I've told him not to do that more times than not and he still does it. I fold my hands into my lap and look at the pain in the ass sitting at my table. I'm waiting for her to pick up her bowl and slurp down the sugary milk dregs but she doesn't. In fact Emma simply pushes her bowl away and leans back in her chair and returns my gaze. The silence isn't off-putting but it does have the similar charge as before. Emma smirks at me and my eyes drop down to the two necklaces she always wears. I wonder what the circle is for since the swan medallion is self-explanatory.

"See that wasn't so bad now was it?" Emma said with a grin as she drapes one arm over the back of her seat. "We don't have to be biting each other heads off all the damn time. But to be honest you wouldn't be you if you didn't spout your sarcasm at everyone but Henry."

I sigh and resist fidgeting in my seat, "Why are you still trying to insist that we should be...friends? I understand being civil around Henry but why this intimate breakfast? I mean are you going to request adding benefits again to this arrangement? And just what the hell happened last that made you think it was okay for you to be here?"

"Benefits? You mean like health insurance?"

"Don't be stupid, Miss Swan."

"I've already asked you to stop calling me that."

"You want me to call you something other than 'Miss Swan'? Then out with it, Emma."

I'm not asking her how I got to my bedroom since I'm pretty sure what the answer is now without having to ask. Somethings are just better left unsaid but I do want to know what's going through that hard head of hers this morning.

"This going to sound weird. Wait what am I saying? Everything that happens in this damn place has weird written all over it and tattooed on its ass."

I roll my eyes, "Continue."

"I...I mean, the way I remember last night was we had a little fight and I drove off but I came back. We bickered in your study for a while and then we talked, had some cider and I guess we both passed out from exhaustion or something. Because when I woke up it was late but still dark. You were passed out on the same sofa I had David put your body on and I, just for a second, I thought you were dead again. I even checked your pulse and when I saw you were alive I carried you to bed. I stayed in the guest room again and Mary Margaret brought Henry over about an hour ago."

Oh God! Not only have I been an unwilling host to all the Charming's whilst dead but I have been carried like some unconscious blushing bride no less by two of them. I know the Savior is strong because the black tank top she's wearing only accentuates those arms of her's. I imagine I still have bruises from where she was rough with me while we were at the hospital and I've had worse treatment before. But I will not picture the woman carrying me; it's better that I immediately start forgetting the mere suggestion that it even occurred.

Emma shifts in her seat, "I want you to know that the other night when I stayed here I couldn't sleep and not because it wasn't my bed or anything. I learned to sleep anywhere or not at all. Anyway, that night I kept thinking how we'd been such assholes to each other. I mean I thought that...Christ last week when you gave me the turnover you were finally being nice, but boy was I wrong." She sighs deeply and those sea green eyes look everywhere for a moment but at me. "I'm willing to apologize because I knew then and now why you were doing all those things. But I'm not the type of person to back down when someone threatens me so I decided to meet you head on."

I let Emma's words linger. She seems to be completely sincere but at the same time it sounded like those words were coached and then being extracted from her quite painfully.

"So you aren't going to try to take my son away from me even though you have no legal right to him?"

Emma shifts in her seat again, "No I'm not going to take him away and yes I know I have no legal right. I signed all that away but I'm hoping that won't matter since he wants me in his life."

"Do you honestly think that makes everything all right?"

"No, I don't Regina. But you know the day I came to your house and you gave me that turnover I talked to Archie beforehand. And as hard as it was to swallow I realized that you were better than any temporary parent I ever got. And I've always known that you want Henry and I sure as hell never got that from anyone when I was a kid."

I look away from Emma and focus on my hands in my lap. I did not put Emma in that wardrobe but I am responsible nonetheless. But clarity came with my death and I know that we've all been but pieces strategically moved around by Rumpelstiltskin. Emma was written into the Dark Curse; Gold said so himself right to her face, and that day I wondered if Emma truly understood what was revealed. I certainly did but I was living on borrowed time and I didn't know it, then again we all are.

"Hey Regina, where'd you go on me?"

"What?"

"I asked you if we can move past all that now."

"Why do you even want to? Have you forgotten who I am and what I've done, Miss Swan?"

A strange look passes over Emma's face but before she can voice her thoughts one of my fine clocks chimes the hour.

"Shit, we're going to be late." Emma said as she pushes her chair back, stands up and then grabs her jacket off the back of the chair. "I'm going to get out of here now and take the kid to school. Then finally get some clean clothes; sleep in my own bed for a while, and then get back to pretending to be Sheriff of this place."

"How does one pretend to be a Sheriff? And how does said Sheriff think that's it okay to talk like that in front of the Mayor?"

"Well, this Sheriff was nice enough to birth the Mayor's son so she figures the Mayor will cut her some slack every now and then?"

"Get out, Miss Swan."

Emma smirks while she pushes her arms through her jacket and then she reaches under the collar to pull her hair out from underneath it.

"Huh, you sound different this morning."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Your 'Miss Swan' almost sounds friendly. And I'll take it for now but eventually I hope you'll break down and keep calling me Emma. You already did it once."

"Would you like to be physically thrown out of my house?"

Emma chuckles and shakes her head at me, "Bye, Regina. And just so you know Henry would love it if you'd to pick him up from school."

Emma steps around the table and to my surprise she places her hand on my shoulder for a second before leaving. I sit there at the small table and stare at nothing while listening to Emma shout upstairs at my son to hurry up. I should tell her to get her ass back here and clean up her mess. I'll clean up after my son but I will not become Emma Swan's maid. The front door opens and then closes with a sound snick and it's that sound that finally moves me. The house is silent except for the refrigerator running and since Emma fanned the door the central heating kicks on. I stand up from my seat and grab Henry's cereal bowl. I'm half-way tempted to throw Emma's in the trash but it's a part of my good set and I will not resort to something so infantile.

As I'm dumping the remains of Henry's bowl, and Emma's fairly empty one, down the garbage disposal I see the leftovers in a skillet laying on the countertop; scrambled eggs and two slices of toast. I lean over and sniff the efforts and it smells pleasing enough that my stomach growls. I know I've haven't eaten in days so I open the cutlery drawer and grab a fork. No one has to know that I broke down and ate Emma's cooking and oddly that first bite of egg tastes better than anything I've had in a while. The toast isn't bad either. After my meal I load the two bowls and the skillet that I ate out of, nobody has to know about that either, in the dishwasher. Then just as I'm about to wipe down the countertop I notice a gaudy squirrel themed mug in the drainer, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out who it belongs to because it sure as hell isn't mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: "Running Up That Hill" by Placebo & "Nearly Forgot My Broken Heart" by Chris Cornell


	9. Start Something

Henry doesn't look at Regina like she's the scourge of everyone's sorrows anymore, including his own no matter how unfair his attitude was to his first mother. Death, even a premature one tends to wake people up and make them take a closer look at even the most beautifully flawed of them all. The Mayor chose not to leave her house much the last few days since her revival and not the kind that takes place in a tent. But after seeing Henry off to school Regina decides that today is the day to address and rectify what will be a painful situation; today is the day she's going to let go of someone she obviously wasn't supposed to have in her life for very long. But life in general has a tendency to be unfair to some more so than others, but then the rain falls on the just and unjust alike.

Regina has always chosen to look her best and has rarely ever dressed down much. But today Regina goes the extra mile for herself; she puts on another form of her armor and takes great care in it. Power and defiance still feels like a second skin and her sleek, modern all black ensemble is the epitome of such a notion. As Regina puts on her make up by hand and not with magic, she elects to start letting her hair grow out longer. Regina's body feels different to her and she can't decide whether it's because she's not cursed anymore or if it's due to her death or perhaps from being shrouded by Miss Swan's magic. Regina frowns at her reflection because of course the Savior would have magic, but she has magic again too.

The day could only go so well for so long though. The pleasant morning passes and now Regina Mills has a lunch meeting with Snow White, hence the need to project an exacting measure of control to keep that overly well-intentioned and utterly irritating woman at a safe distance. Regina shuts off the engine on her Mercedes and steps out to do a face to face with her least favorite person, princess, bandit and elementary school teacher. Opening the door to Granny's Regina notices that Snow is already waiting and that's fine since the always punctual Queen elected to be fashionably late by five full minutes for the hell of it. Regina smirks and does her best, most authoritative strut to the booth where Snow White; who now looks every bit like a Mary Margaret with that pixie short haircut.

"Hello Regina." Snow White said with only a slight, noticeable tremor in her voice. "I took the liberty of ordering you some tea. It only arrived a minute ago so it shouldn't be too hot or cool."

Regina ignores Snow White's attempt at manners in lieu of the object that's hidden in her purse. Regina has been contemplating throwing the object out of her backdoor the last few days. Or in other words the object is a particular mug that Regina found in her kitchen a few days ago that thankfully doesn't belong to her. Regina almost didn't put the abomination of a beverage holder in her purse, but then again she really didn't want to be seen walking around with Snow White approved twee-ware in her hand. One thing is set in stone though for Regina; the mug wasn't about to stay in her home for another second longer.

"I believe this...thing belongs to you." Regina said as she places the large mug with a squirrel wrapped up in a plaid scarf down on the table with a heavy thud. "I thought about destroying it with a nice hot fireball but then I realized it would be a waste of my magic."

Snow White chuckles because she can, "Thank you for bringing my mug to me. I didn't mean to leave it behind; it was an enlightening morning that day, more important things were on my mind. And I forgot to take it back home with me."

Regina barely resists the need to tell Snow to stop stating the obvious but only because the diner has gone silent again. When Regina entered her presence was noted and then dismissed but now every other person in Granny's is watching this parlay between two old enemies. But after more than a few lingering seconds they all lose interest because the sight looks nothing like two grand old warships expelling the last of their fire. Instead all the view offers is a smiling woman sitting in a booth wearing a white sweater and trying her best to get the more imposing one in a black trench coat with leopard print scarf wrapped around her neck to sit down until she finally does.

"What happened while you were gone?" Snow White said and the following pause was obvious, clumsy but the concern was evident. "You don't have to talk to me about it of course. But when I was under the sleeping curse I was in a room of fire. Was it like that?"

Regina smirks but then a sneer forms, "Miss Blanchard...or would you rather I call you Snow again?"

"Mary Margaret is fine, Regina." Snow White said while taking her squirrel mug in hand and then slipping it inside her handbag that's beside her in the booth. "You know I gave myself that name, not you or the curse, a long time ago back in our land."

Regina has always known she wasn't the author of everyone's cursed identity. In fact her only stipulation in regards to Snow in particular was that she be as far removed from her un-charming shepherd. The names, occupations, and other details of everyone else were of little consequence, and in truth all the curse did was treat every living soul as if they were in a type of witness relocation program.

"Very well...Miss Blanchard it is." Regina said with a bored sigh as she shifts into a more comfortable position on the booth's firm vinyl seat. "And to address your question; to me it sounds like my little sleeping curse sent you to an ideal representation of Hell."

Snow White looks confused and moderately offended but Regina waves off the other woman's oncoming diatribe before she can really get going.

"I can't remember, honestly, but I would like to believe that I would remember meeting Lucifer." Regina said with a faint smirk upon her lips. "Seriously, I've tried but only one memory has stayed with me strong enough to know that my death was no hallucination." Regina stops and her usual readymade glare for Snow White falters until her focus is on tabletops clean surface. "I saw a glimpse of Daniel and a voice asked me to promise to do something that is frankly none of your business. And then the next thing I remember is seeing you, your shepherd and Henry and that's all I can and will tell you."

Snow White isn't going to throw an ultimatum at Regina like; confide in me if you want another chance from me, because I think you're lying. Snow White knows now that it would be so easy to be that arrogant, to behave entitled, but Snow White has finally realized that type of behavior isn't all that good.

"I believe you...that you don't remember."

Regina arches her eyebrow, "You do? How surprisingly refreshing. What the hell has happened to the Snow White I cursed twenty-eight years ago?"

Snow White is aware she's being baited. Regina doesn't trust her to not go back on her word about Henry, to not turn around and try to put her in jail or worse. Snow White knows that it's only fair and if she and Regina are going to get anywhere then they are going to have to earn back each other's trust. They have time to do that; everyone choose to do and be better.

"That Snow White finally grew up. I'm well aware that if time hadn't been frozen I would be nearing sixty now." Snow White said and Regina smirks while pulls her gloves off one by one and then lays them on the table. "But I didn't ask you here today to dredge up the past, but having said that your past for better or worse is a part of who you are Regina and so is mine. When I look back I can only imagine how I would've turned out if things had happened differently. You and I have made each other better and worse."

Regina doesn't know where this newly acquired wisdom is coming from but Regina does think it's about damn time, "You would've continued to be a spoiled little insipid Princess and then you would've become a haughty, insufferable goody-two shoes Queen who couldn't rule unless she had all the love in the world?"

Snow White gapes for a brief flash and then cocks her head, "Okay, so you may have a point and that wasn't easy for me to admit. But I'm willing to be more open to your opinions, no matter how hurtful they may be."

Regina looks shocked and leans back in the booth, "You don't have to be nice to me just because your daughter has a crush."

"Regina!" Snow White exclaims lowly and then closes her eyes for a moment to tamp down on the irritation. "I'm being nice because I want to. I want to move on and I think you do too."

Regina smirks but it's far too quick and Snow White doesn't catch it. But even if Snow White had caught the expression it's all too apparent that nuances are lost on the once mollycoddled princess turned bandit.

"Fair enough." Regina said as she reaches for the tea sitting on her side of the table. "But why do I feel like there's a bit of fine print I missed that was omitted from this little unwritten contract between us, Miss Blanchard?"

Snow white shakes her head and reaches for her cooling hot chocolate, "There is no catch, Regina. Let's start over...wipe the slate almost clean."

"Almost?"

"I really don't want to interfere in any relationship of yours ever again but one." Snow White said before taking a sip of her hot chocolate with the cinnamon sprinkled heavily on the top of the whipped cream. Regina thinks that the very idea of the beverage and its toppings are nothing short of something a child would order or a sugar junkie. "Emma has strong feelings for you; she preserved your body with magic until you came back. You know what they say about magic and emotions and that has to mean something more than a crush?"

Regina rolls her eyes and dismisses what smells like scorched-earth Rooibos tea back to the table without a sip, "Emma's the Savior; saving people is her job so I don't consider myself some special case. And I'm well aware of how magic works, dear."

"Don't do that." Snow White said after finishing the remains of her hot chocolate and then she daintily wipes her mouth on a napkin. "My daughter is one of kind. And I would think that even if I went back to just being Mary Margaret, her roommate and friend instead of her mother, that I would still know that." Snow White wads up the napkin and places it on the table and then pushes her empty cup to the side. "David and I are giving you our blessing if you wish to give our daughter a chance; we won't stand in the way. If you can finally find true and lasting happiness with Emma then we want you to have it."

The Mayor of Storybrooke and Evil Queen is at a loss of another sort. Snow White is already trying to pair her daughter off to a suitor for lack of better words. But Regina's promise to Strife to lay Daniel's body to rest is all she can worry about in this moment. The Savior and her out of control magic, wayward emotions is a problem she doesn't want to waste a minute on right now. Daniel is more important and Regina doesn't know if she's ready to let go or if she truly can when she looks down at his body. Regina has entertained notions of reneging on the promise she made that ensured her resurrection but she's not foolish enough to believe that there really wouldn't be consequences. Laying Daniel to rest may very well take another piece of her blackened heart with it.

"That's very noble of you, Snow. But I have something more pressing to take care of and I would like some peace and privacy to deal with this delicate matter." Regina said and it took every ounce of fight she could muster on the spot to not cry in front of Snow White. "I appreciate your blessing but I'm not ready to deal with anything complicated just yet that involves Miss Emma Swan."

Snow White nods and forces down her protest to: 'please give Emma a chance Regina because my daughter will give you as many chances as I have and more'.

"Emma told me about your breakfast together with Henry the next morning after the night Gold disappeared."

Regina badly wants to glare at the meddling woman in front of her until she distingrates into nothing more than bird droppings. But that kind of fight just isn't there today in Regina's heart though, not that her fire is gone, but the animosity she used to be able to call on in a heartbeat towards Snow is dulled, distant.

"Good day, Miss Blanchard." Regina said before gracefully sliding out of the booth. "Thank you for the tea even though it smelled awful, which I suspect was as intended by your werewolf-waitress BFF."

Regina's heels clip with authority on the linoleum as she walks away and Mary Margaret turns around in her seat and watches after Regina until the door to Granny's closes. Starting over is never easy and Mary Margaret has a full plate; David, Henry, Emma and Regina, and all four are people she loves. Mary Margaret believes with all her heart that she never stopped for any of them, even when so many things got in the way, including memory loss and an ongoing blood feud. The lunch invitation wasn't quite the success Mary Margaret hoped for but it wasn't a total failure. Mary Margaret actually smiles when she reaches into her handbag and pulls her whimsy squirrel mug out. Regina chose to return it to her in person.

Mary Margaret knows that it will be a long road for all those involved but maybe this time it will be better. This time Regina won't be an adolescent-parental placeholder or her enemy. This time with enough patience hopefully Regina can be her friend. Despite everything and all the years between them Mary Margaret has never been able to turn her back on Regina. And as the woman who is Snow White holds her silly squirrel mug in her hands she can't help it when her heart breaks a little for Regina and her misfortunes every time she has thinks about them since her memories are her own again. With her smile still in place but a noticeable shine to her green eyes Mary Margaret places the mug back in her purse.

 

In the interest of not running her blood pressure up Emma has spent the last few days giving Regina a wide berth, but sharing a child with Regina makes it damn near impossible to avoid her completely. Emma 's thoughts still code Regina every now and then even though Emma has tried to ween herself off from the habit. In short to add to the shit pile Emma has had nothing but an endless stream of confusing feelings for the last several months since her kid showed up on her doorstep almost a year ago in Boston only to drag her back to Storybrooke.

The biggest conundrum that takes up the most space in Emma's thoughts is how the hell does she even have magic? And the next biggest, that's not code Regina, is that even with the curse broken Emma thinks that it's a waiting game now to see what kind of shit hits the fan next. Emma realized some time ago that being dubbed 'The Savior' is starting to feel exactly like a life sentence with no chance of parole. It might be a little bit of a death sentence too if Emma pays any attention to what Regina told her that night after the shit show with Gold or Rumpelstiltskin or whatever the fuck he's called.

Hindsight being a total fuckface Emma now feels that the impromptu breakfast was a bad idea, just like sleeping over at Regina's house again was, along with opening her stupid mouth trying to be all flirty and cute. Emma is aware that she didn't win any points by going back to Regina's that night after their fight, both of them high off of putting a little fear into Gold. Emma inhales deeply and catches a whiff of what can only be perfume or more specifically the scent Regina wears and it makes her frown. Emma moves her left hand off the steering wheel and rolls down the window. The air blowing in the car is loud but at least Emma doesn't have to smell perfumed leftovers anymore.

Emma grips the steering wheel with both hands again at ten and two and pushes own on the accelerator. The Bug isn't a race car, hell it's not even Herbie the Love Bug, but the yellow menace does have some fight in her. Like its owner. Emma has gone over it in her head and she can't figure out why Regina never answered her question that night in the driveway. Why did a freshly revived dead woman swagger over to Gold's to help her? The more time Emma invests in the unanswered question the more frustrated she gets. Why couldn't the mule-headed woman just answer her? How hard would it have been to tell the truth and shame the devil as the saying goes.

Emma has this gut instinct and it's telling her something is all wrong and not in the usual ways that Regina leaves her all pissed off and discombobulated. Emma squeezes the steering wheel tighter with her left hand, lets off the accelerator, presses the clutch in and upshifts. For Emma driving around in her Bug has always been like a form of gasoline fueled therapy, but riding around Storybrooke on her day off isn't something Emma would normally resort to doing since she gets enough of that during patrol. Emma doesn't slow down much as she rounds the corner and turns down on Main Street.

Up ahead Emma sees the unforgettable classic Mercedes that belongs to the person who irritates Emma more than anyone she has ever met. Emma already knew that Regina and Mary Margaret were having lunch together; her roommate and now mother was talking about it this morning. Emma wasn't really paying attention because last night she came home to the sounds of her parents 'finding each other' again. Emma chose to get the hell out because subjecting herself to that shit isn't an option no matter what. Emma promptly left the loft as quickly as possible and went back to her car to get a nap until they would hopefully be done. Emma didn't sleep though.

Instead, Emma was all wide eyed and awake and she came to the conclusion that getting her own place just shot up like a fever on her list of things to get done. So even in her tired, annoyed state Emma slows down and whips into an open spot near the Standard Clocks storefront behind an ugly old white Volvo. The only thing that stills Emma's thoughts on Regina every so often is wondering where Rumple-Dumps-Gold is hiding. The pawnshop is still open but it's being run by Gold's too young girlfriend Belle, who claims that she doesn't have any idea where he is. Emma knows Belle's telling the truth but that's only because Gold apparently didn't trust Belle enough to tell her everything; so much for the fairytale equivalent of a grand, lovey-dovey May/December romance.

Emma shakes her head as she switches the ignition off on the Bug, "True Loves...my ass."

In regards to Emma's conflicted personal matters she has about given up on trying to understand her heart and what it latches onto when it wants. Emma wasn't looking to like anybody anytime soon the night Henry showed up; it's fitting that night changed a lot of things and it all happened fast. Emma Swan didn't plan on being attracted to her kid's adoptive mother but it happened anyway. Emma didn't plan on sticking around, staying in town, being in the kid's life but that happened too.

The worst of it though is Emma knows that at some point between the nasty words and swinging fists she developed feelings stronger than crush labeling for Regina. So much shit has happened to Emma that she didn't want. Ten minutes pass with only the sparse traffic of Storybrooke to provide breaks in the monotony. Occasionally, a car passes by just fast enough to make the Bug rock a little but Emma isn't about to chase any of them down in her Bug or on her day off.

"What the fuck am I even doing?" Emma said and just as she reaches for the ignition the door to Granny's opens. "Oh, right and there's the what and the why."

Regina stalks out with her head down, hands shoved in the pockets of her black trench coat and anyone that would bother to look can see she's upset. Emma looks on as Regina leans against her car for a few moments before opening the door and getting in. The car sits still for a minute or two at least and then the black Mercedes slowly starts to drive off down the street. Something is wrong but Emma has a feeling that Mary Margaret is perfectly fine sitting in Granny's but Regina clearly isn't.

"This is such a bad idea." Emma said under her breath before opening the door of the Bug and stepping out. "But it won't be my first."

Emma would have no business calling herself the Sheriff if she actually thought for one second that she could follow Regina without being noticed in her very yellow and highly noticeable Bug. Regina's black Mercedes is just as iconic and therefore not difficult to tail. Emma closes the door on her Bug; leaving it in front of Standard Clocks and takes off on foot. If she can see the general direction Regina takes then she'll wait a bit and then hop back in her car and take it from there. Almost every person who Emma passes on the sidewalk smiles at her and it makes her all kinds of uncomfortable. Regina certainly observes the snail's pace speed limit on Main Street, in fact as Emma passes the doorway of the shoe repair store Regina's car finally creeps by. Emma turns and watches the black car in the store's glass window reflection.

Emma has already figured out that Regina isn't going home, and there are very few things in the direction she's headed in except for more houses, that aren't her's and the cemetery. Emma surreptitiously glances around and then walks back to where she left her Bug and gets in. The Bug spurts to life after two cranks and Emma puts the gearshift in first and pulls out of her parking spot. There's a kind of excitement that wants to bubble out of Emma; kind of like tailing a mark, and that's something she hasn't felt much of since before leaving Boston. With a good three minute head start Emma figures that there's no reason Regina would spot her now, so as main street fades in her rearview and on a hunch Emma takes the road that leads out towards the woods and the cemetery.

It's not a long drive and sure enough Emma spots Regina's polished ebony coupe of squad smart mouth-badass parked near the small mausoleum. Emma has only seen the place up close once and yeah she was trespassing with Graham at the time, so she only pretended to look around to humor him. Emma doesn't think about Graham all that much but being back at the scene of the crime from many months ago takes her back to the night the original Sheriff of Storybrooke died. Emma didn't invest in too many emotions at first but the man kept coming on to her, and then there was her growing crush on Regina, and then Emma found herself dangerously close to becoming the type of woman who was about to end up fucking her boss's boss.

Thinking about all that old shit now just pisses Emma off a little bit more. She knew better than to get involved with Graham but she slipped and then Regina squashed the problem or rather crushed it. Emma knows in her heart of hearts what Regina did to Graham but it doesn't matter anymore. All that Emma would do over if Graham were still alive is tell him no, mean it, and then punch him in the face if he still had trouble getting it. So in light of her newish borderline stalking credentials Emma chooses to wait outside the Mills family crypt or Regina's witchy evil lair for a while.

Honestly though, Emma can't really see Regina as evil. Emma sees Regina as the very human definition of misunderstood and complicated as fuck. Plus the idea of Regina's fairytale alias is just too much to wrap her head around. Emma is used to stakeouts in her Bug so she tries to get comfortable without sacrificing being alert. But as Emma slumps further down in her seat a strange feeling turns over in her; not anything bad but different and just sad. Emma shrugs it off and takes in the view. The crypt looks old and even with the late afternoon sun shining behind it, lighting it up in broken beams, since the woods lie behind it like a living fence.

Emma hasn't gotten fully onboard with having magic but she knows she'll have to warm up to it or get out of this place. Right now to Emma the idea of having magic is kind of like discovering you have a weird mole but thank god at least it's not in a noticeable place. The strange feeling grows stronger and Emma knows enough to realize her magic might be reacting to something; it has to be that, she just suddenly feels less pissed off and sad instead for no apparent reason. This sadness feels like a thread that's pulling on her and it doesn't take a genius to figure out why. Emma stares at the crypt and she knows its Regina, the sadness is new but the feeling is the same she had to deal with during the car ride after that night at Gold's.

Emma makes another decision; one she might regret in a few minutes but she's doing it anyway. Emma gets out of the Bug and shuts the door and walks across the green-brown grass until her boots hit the fine gravel path. The sad feeling churning in her gut gets stronger with each step and Emma does her best to not let it freak her out too much. Emma hesitates at the doors to the crypt for a moment but then she pushes them open. Emma gives it a couple of seconds and after her eyes adjust to the natural, but lower light in the tomb, she sees that same coffin sitting in the middle. Only this time Henry Mills coffin isn't exactly where it should be.

Emma frowns because the coffin has been moved to the side and there is a stone staircase visible that was apparently hidden underneath, "Figures."

Emma takes the first step and then quietly moves down the stone stairs and with each footfall she lets her hands trail down the cool, smooth-textured walls of the narrow passage on both sides. The walls remind Emma of running her fingertips over very fine grain sandpaper. At the bottom of the landing Emma walks a few feet to the left and through the archway, but there is just a bunch of shelves set into the walls and they're full of odd things and there's a tall wooden set of drawers but no Regina. Emma pauses but chooses not to prowl any more than she already is, so she turns and heads in the other direction, back to the right.

At the start of the hallway mounted on the red brick wall is a large mirror and out of sheer spite Emma flips the bird at it as she walks past. The act is childish but it makes Emma smile for a second and it pushes back some of these new and strange moods that aren't her own. Emma squints in the natural light filtering in from overhead and she sees that the place is dusty and the odd cobweb is visible and stretched between two available surfaces here and there. Emma nearly smiles again because finally here is one place that belongs to Regina where she's a bit of a slob or as much as she's going to let herself be. There's probably only so much you can do with maintaining an underground lair.

At the end of the hallway Emma sees two off-white wooden doors standing wide open. The sadness that drew Emma in has lessened over the last few minutes but she can still feel it. Emma is not stupid, she knows she's getting a dose of Regina's emotions and the only reason is because of magic. But why? Emma catches herself mid eye roll when she realizes that she didn't need another reason to be drawn to Regina; she has enough of those as it is. As Emma gets closer to the open doorway the more things she picks up on and the most relevant one is she hears small controlled sobs. Emma pauses just at the threshold where she sees Regina leaning against a clear and empty casket.

"Regina." Emma said timidly because she can't tell if the woman in front of her, all clad in black, heard her approach. Emma certainly doesn't want to catch her in a bad way and then make it worse. "Um...what are you doing?"

Regina seems to ignore her, so Emma glances around the room and to her surprise there are no flickering candles and other gothic stuff in the room that the occasion would call for. In fact the room looks like it doesn't belong in this underground setting; it's too light and feels more like a shrine, an altar, than some lonely room in a crypt.

Regina straightens her posture and turns slightly to address the intruder, "How did you find...no scratch that, why are you following me or better yet why are you even here, Miss Swan?"

"Do you really want me to state the obvious even though I know you hate that?"

Regina doesn't answer she only turns away; back towards the empty clear coffin in front of her. Emma didn't expect to stumble onto a scene like this. Needless to say Emma realizes that she has crashed a funeral and not some ceremony where a brooding cauldron of Regina style whip ass is brewing.

"If it's not asking too much of the lording Savior herself...will you just leave me alone?" Regina said and despite the polite wording it was all contempt and brittle sarcasm. "Today is just one of the many worse days of my life and I would prefer to be left to my own devices."

Regina waits for bumbling excuses or a half ass apology but it doesn't happen and neither does the sound of retreating footsteps. Regina takes a deep breath and turns to face the biggest pain in the ass she's encountered in this realm.

"If you need reassurances then here it is, so play close attention, I'll not be repeating myself. I have no interest in continuing the fruitless pursuit of seeking justice against your mother and her sickly sweet consort. I don't care about my revenge anymore and that's all I think I need to say to you today, Miss Swan."

Emma rolls her eyes, "I've already asked you a couple of times to stop calling me that. My first name will do even though it sounds like a character from 'Little House on the Prairie' and let's not forget good old Auntie Em from the 'Wizard of Oz' movie."

Silence is all that acknowledges Emma's attempt at levity. Regina has always made her uncomfortable in the most uncommon ways, in fact calling the feeling uncomfortable doesn't seem to fit.

"Look, I'm sorry for walking in on...a funeral...but with no body."

Regina scoffs, "There was a body but it's gone forever now."

Emma dares a few more steps into the room. Regina could throw her out with her magic for all Emma knows but she'll take her chances any way.

"Do you want to talk about it? Tell me what happened today or whatever?"

"Are you out of your mind? No, Miss Swan." Regina said while trying to regain her composure the in face of compassion; she's barely holding it in now any way. But crying in front of Emma Swan isn't on Regina's list of things to do before she dies. "You have no business being here, so why don't you just go."

Emma starts to run her hand through her hair in frustration but she remembers that she has it partially pinned back in the front and completely down in the back. For her part Regina is growing more impatient that her unexpected and unwanted visitor isn't showing any signs of leaving.

"I'm not in the mood to entertain your foolish, clumsy and unwanted romantic overtures today, Miss Swan."

Emma narrows her eyes and clenches her jaw, "Don't worry Regina. I won't throw myself at you ever again. I do value what I've got left dignity-wise."

Regina looks directly at Emma's stupid face, "Dignity you say? But how could I miss the way I've caught you looking at me in the past, Miss Swan? And if that wasn't enough let's not forget the time you came onto me in my office."

Emma balls her hands into tight fists and steps further into the room, "No! Don't you do that! I have never objectified you. I've liked you against all reason from the moment I met you. I felt like I didn't have a choice for a while, but you changed all that when you couldn't get enough of being a total bitch to me at every turn."

"Careful Miss Swan, I'm not prepared to stand here and let you call me a bitch to my face again." Regina said with a death glare to match. "And do refresh my memory on how you were any different, any better?"

"I wasn't! I was a bitch to you too! There are you happy now, Regina!"

"I don't need this right now, not today, not now!" Regina shouted and by god she feels her tears coming back even through all her simmering rage.

"Listen you stubborn..." Emma said then stopped because angry and unflattering words are so not helping her cause, and more where about to fly out of her mouth. "Look, I'm still trying to figure out the best way the two of us can stand to be around each other and still be there for our son. It's just the two of us and Henry loves us both but I guess you can't fucking see that or you don't want to."

Regina's magic comes alive and flushes through every fiber of her body. The anger, her anger has always been her best catalyst and after being without magic for twenty-eight years it feels good to hear it sing in her veins again.

"Miss Swan I asked your mother, over lunch no less, not to have any of her family members antagonize me today. But I think it's safe to say she broke that promise too or at least you did."

Emma feels like a total shit but frankly she's amazed that Regina hasn't let loose on her with her magic. Emma felt the exact moment when Regina called it to her and Emma got a small draft of the rush of it. Regina's magic feels experienced, angry and yes it's kind of dark but it's also laced with light, sadness, loneliness and most of all pain. Emma actually feels like she's unknowingly invaded Regina's privacy.

"Look, I don't want anything from you except to get to know you as just Regina." Emma said as she relaxes her fists and then her whole tensed up body. "I mean just being my friend if nothing else is not going to make you less than you are."

Regina's face shows the shock that those were the last words she ever expected to hear from Emma. And maybe it's Emma's words or just the shock factor but Regina's magic recedes like flood waters after the heavy rains stop. Emma notices the difference right away because Emma notices everything about Regina. The moment feels surreal to both women and while Regina is firmly planted in her spot Emma isn't, so she moves as close as she dares to the other woman. They've always had a problem with violating each other's personal space.

"We're just people, Regina." Emma said as calmly as she could manage even though the elevated rise and fall of her chest is giving away her heightened emotions. "And people are hardwired to make mistakes. I know I've done my fair share in the past and recently."

"I should say so but you've still yet to explain why you're here. I don't want you here, Miss Swan. But I'm sorry if that's hard for you to understand."

Emma wants to punch something, "And if I told you, you can take your sorry and shove it, then what?"

Regina sneers, "I'm not threatening you, Miss Swan. I just want you gone from my property. I will honor my promise to my son, to not hurt you or any other member of your family ever again in exchange for the same."

The urge to punch something fades as quickly as it sprung up for Emma. She hadn't intended to keep pushing Regina but old habits are hard to wean yourself off of.

"Do you remember seeing me before you disappeared from that place where your soul went?"

"What are you talking about now, Miss Swan?"

"I saw you, Regina. I was there before you left that place where your soul was, it was me, but you seemed to think otherwise."

"I don't remember what happened to me wherever I was while I was...dead." Regina said and the last word leaves a bad taste in her mouth. "So did you save me or something to that effect and now you expect some kind of reward?"

On impulse and armed with pure instinct Emma sees and senses the truth in Regina's words and that hurts her all over again. Regina wears her tortured soul on the outside for the entire world to see but everyone is too fucking blind. But then Emma picks up on the faintest glimmer of a half-truth in Regina's words; she does remember something.

"Aren't you tired because I am, Regina? I don't want to fight with you anymore, not like this. In fact I'll leave you alone from this moment on when we're done here if that's what you want."

"Good, I look forward to this being the end then."

Nothing has ever been easy for Emma and she's gotten used to doing everything the hard way. But now she's just done with it all and wants something to be easy for once.

"We can share Henry. I don't want him to choose between us and I'm not going to undermine you anymore either."

Regina tries not to stare down the woman in front of her too hard, especially while said woman is giving her the most oppressive hang dog eyes that no person should be capable of. Regina isn't good at recognizing mercy; any more than she ever was at granting it as Queen.

Emma steps closer to her and Regina ends up looking over the woman thoroughly. Today Emma Swan is wearing a grey leather jacket that is rather stylish and underneath it is a simple black shirt, black jeans and of course knee-high black boots. The gold badge that was Graham's is clipped to her belt at her hip. And Emma's long blonde hair is pulled back from her face but a few tendrils are free and they frame her high cheek bones. Regina would never acknowledge that Emma is dressed much nicer than usual or that she approves of her clothing choices today.

Emma thinks that Regina has been too quiet but Emma doesn't mind since she's just watching Regina look at her from head to toe. When Regina finishes her none too subtle inspection Emma's gaze locks onto deep brown eyes that give away every nuance of Regina's emotions. Emma sees something new in those depths and that's just enough to make her bold.

"Sometimes I just wanna reach out and pull you into a hug." Emma said with a small smile and Regina gasps. "And I'm not much for doing that sort of thing but the only reason I keep from doing it is the knowledge that you would hate it."

Regina nearly steps back, to put some much needed space between her and Emma but she doesn't. The conflicting notions in her thoughts now are enough to unhinge anyone and Regina is fairly certain that there are cracks in the pavement so to speak. Or in other words Regina's careful mask has fallen to the wayside and her emotions are too close to the surface now.

"God, I can't stand this look on your face." Emma said and her green eyes look glossier to Regina. "It breaks my heart every time you let some of what's broken in you out, and I care enough to see it."

Regina does step back from Emma then but Emma follows because she's just as stubborn as Regina.

"I felt your sadness, hurt through my magic or something. That's why I came in here and that's why I stayed." Emma said and then after a pause and against the odds she reaches for Regina and pulls her into a reluctant but tight hug. "Please don't fight me on this. You need this and no one has to know that I provided it unless you want them to."

Regina wants to resist. She wants to throw Emma far away from her with a powerful blast of magic but she doesn't. Emma's arms tighten around Regina a little more with each passing second; it's as if Emma is trying to do the most good with what time Regina is going to let her have. The simple hug becomes too much for Regina not to want since it's being offered freely. So with barely any more signs of reservation Regina slowly moves her arms around to Emma's back and holds onto her just as tightly as Emma is holding onto her.

"Are you..." Emma said and then swallows harshly while hanging onto Regina as tight as she dares. She isn't nearly brave enough to say her next words to Regina's face though and this is most likely the wrong time but she has to know. "Would it be that awful...picking me? I mean, let's be honest, I can tell you're attracted to me a little. But is it the fact that I'm a woman or is the worst part of it all is me being Snow White's daughter?"

A single heavy tear runs down Regina's cheek and lands on the shoulder of Emma's leather jacket, "I remember the one condition for my return to this world. And it was that I provide...closure for my...first love."

Emma barely holds in her own tears, "I've never had somebody that wanted to spend that much time with me. My first love left me knocked up to rot in jail."

Regina holds on tighter to Emma and at the feeling Emma closes her eyes to keep the tears from falling. Both women stand there quietly trying to hold onto their tears as much as they are to each other. But after a few minutes Regina let's go and steps back from Emma's embrace.

"I can't give you an answer today...about you, but I can say that I have as good as a happy ending I can hope for, Miss Swan. I cheated death. I said goodbye to the only other person who ever lived that cared about me by their own free will. And I have Henry who's starting to accept my past and if I'm lucky he'll go back to loving me the way he used to before everything."

Emma's glossy sea-green eyes are filling with disappointment but they still run over Regina's form, "You're a liar too by the way."

"Excuse me?"

Emma wants to punch herself for just blurting that out like an ass. She finally got to hug Regina and they're being friendly or at least their version of it for once. But Emma has some unresolved issues and her feelings towards Regina haven't changed that.

"Right before you dumped your famous poisoned turnover on me you said: 'If we're going to be in each other lives, it's time we start being cordial.' And you know a part of me was screaming this is bullshit but I ignored it and I decided why not? Give her a chance." Emma said with an empty gesture. "And I...you see, not a lot of people in my life ever gave me many chances, but I can give you as many chances as you need. I can wait."

Regina doesn't say anything; she thinks that perhaps the right words don't exist. In place of the words that just won't come the proud Mayor of Storybrooke walks past Emma and down the corridor until she reaches the stairs that leads up out of this place of sadness.

"Hey!" Emma shouted up from below but Regina barely stalls her pace as she steps outside the vault doors and into the late and fading evening sunshine. "You know you still haven't answered my question."

Regina stops and reaches into her coat pocket for her car keys, "Miss Swan, just how many questions of yours do you think I'm obligated to answer today?"

Emma trudges up the last stone step and moves out of the crypt. Regina just loves to mock her with that sass but then again Emma's gotten used to it and she expects nothing less from Regina.

"I want to know why you came to Gold's. Why did you come for me?"

Regina turns and clenches her keys into her fist so tight that they pinch into the skin of her palm, "Fine! I came back for you that night at Gold's because it was the right thing to do! And despite my past, my flaws and all my shortcomings I do know what that is from time to time! I felt it was something I had to do, so I did it, and that's as deep as the wellspring goes on the subject."

Emma moves towards Regina with slow timid steps, "You know I get that ignorance can be a good thing more often than you think. I remember when I was a kid all the different religions didn't matter, or what a person looked like and certainly not who they chose to like because they found someone else in this world who understands them. Funny, how when you grow up you lose all the best parts that no one thinks is valuable. Anyway, that's how I want to live the rest of my life. I want to stop seeing what I've been conditioned to see. I think you're special Regina and no matter what awful things you say to me my opinion of you won't change."

Regina closes her eyes for a few seconds in the face of Emma's genuine words. No one, certainly not in a long time, has ever spoken to her like that. Only two people in her life have ever treated her like she was special. Both of those people are dead; one was the cost of the curse and the other she magic'd away his preserved remains not an hour ago. Regina's grip on her keys falters and the dull pain that follows confirms that she left quite an imprint behind.

"So the guy that was in the clear coffin...did you name our kid after him too?" Emma said and then in that rare moment something breaks free again before Regina can choose to answer her or not. "You know I'll probably keep my last name no matter what. The Swan's sent me back when I was three, but I can't imagine being called anything else."

Regina bites down on her lower lip and averts her eyes. On any given day just thinking of her departed first love is enough to send her spiraling, never mind that now she will have to add the image of watching his body disappear with a wave of her hand.

"Yes, Henry's middle name is after his first name." Regina said quietly as if she has shamed herself a bit by answering. "And Swan is a lovely surname. But if you don't mind me asking why did the Swan's give you back?"

Emma isn't sure what she wants to say and making some crack about 'hey, look how much easier it is to not be an asshole all the time' but that isn't a good idea now. Who in their right mind would make jokes given the current topic and after a funeral since Regina's apparently had her first love's wake going for some time.

"They were going to have their own kid." Emma said while shoving her hands in the front pockets of her too tight jeans. "After they found out they could get pregnant; why would they keep a roadside throwaway orphan like me around?"

The words are sad and bitter and Regina lets herself cry a bit because she can. All the excuses she would ever need are lying in the front of her inner most thoughts; Daniel's body in that glass coffin, and how she erased it's presence with her magic. Emma doesn't need to know that some of Regina's tears are for her too.

Emma is on the verge of tears again and when one makes a break for it and runs down her cheek she feels like kicking herself for opening even more old wounds in front of Regina of all people. And it's too quiet in outside of Mills crypt; where in the hell are all the noisy chirping bugs and stuff?

"I'll leave you alone now." Emma said instead of saying goodbye because she feels like she's used up all her good fortune with Regina for one day. "I probably shouldn't have tailed you here but...I'm sorry."

"Wait."

"Why?"

"Because I'm asking you to, Emma."

Emma stops at the sound of her name coming from Regina's mouth. Maybe the hug wasn't too bad or awkward but then again Emma was stupid enough to press Regina yet again.

"You need to learn to filter your magic better." Regina said but what she's not going to say that since she has been touched by Emma's raw magic she can feel some inklings of Emma's emotions now too. "You say that you tracked me with it, that you felt things through your magic, but that's not possible."

Emma frowns because not only can she tell Regina is lying to her but she can feel it now, "Sure, you can stand there and try to sell that but that doesn't mean I'm going to buy it."

Regina feels far too exposed and it's toying with everything. She shouldn't have returned Emma's hug. She shouldn't have let her guard down so far. Regina promised her son to be better but this feels like too much too soon. Emma huffs and turns away since Regina's enforced some kind of stoic silence. Regina tells herself that she's not going to feel guilty about what she's done; it might happen later anyway. Instead, Regina walks towards her own car but she stops before getting in to watch after Emma as she gets in her yellow Bug and then drives off until she's out of sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: "And Fools Shine On" by Brother Cane, "Hurt Makes It Beautiful" by Hugo & "Circadian Rhythm (last dance)" by Silversun Pickups


	10. Regina

Epilogue

Counting the days is something I've learned to never do but weeks have passed and the everyday routines vary now. When I walk down the street I don't see the same faces in the exact same places anymore. Life is just as random here in Storybrooke now as anywhere else in this realm, or at least as much as Fate is going to let mankind assume it is. I still believe that this realm is the fairest of them all and perhaps that's what really keeps saving me.

I'm still waiting for the next thing to come along though since it always does for me. A person shouldn't get used to the idea of a lasting peace because no matter how much we crave its promise it isn't a sustainable resolution. The human condition will always desire some form of excitement to deliver us from the doldrums and this is a dangerous thought due to the fact that some of us are more inclined towards destruction. I will never share these thoughts with another though, it's not exactly what anyone would want to hear from a despised Queen who was prone to devastation.

Mary Margaret or Snow White if you prefer went back to teaching, minus the emphasis on ornithology. I had to push for that change in her curriculum. I won my argument on the basis that time is marching on and I'm sure the children of Storybrooke have heard enough on the subject of birds over the last twenty-eight years. I know I was past being able to tolerate Snow's silliness on the creatures nearly forty years ago. Only time will tell what will happen between the irritating woman and myself. The other day I caught Mary Margaret and David smiling at me though when I was in Granny's. I almost smiled back at them for I couldn't help myself, but I managed to rein it in before it was too late.

David Nolan is in the process of being divorced by Kathryn. The woman who I'm sure no longer regards me as a friend has her pride and her memories now and Princess Abigail never wanted to be tied to Snow's shepherd and now she isn't. I never had any real friends and I ruined the one I did have in Kathryn when I had her abducted to frame Mary Margaret. I made myself tell Kathryn the truth recently and I received the proper response for my actions this time instead of her believing I had some small part in saving her. I don't expect Kathryn to forgive me anymore than anyone else I've used, but she surprised me when she said that eventually she will.

Emma has been true to her word; meaning no matter how many times I've insulted her she still comes around. The Sheriff's even started bringing lunch to my office every so often and I've gotten to the point that I can talk to her. But aside from what I assume is merely a friendly gesture not even so much as a gentle nudge towards a change in our relationship has happened again and I'm relieved. My thoughts still stray to the day in my vault when I vanished Daniel's remains and it's one more thing to add to the memories I have of him. I will grieve his memory for as long as I'm alive and probably afterwards too.

Today is another day and I chose to escape my office early; drive out to the waterfront near where Henry's old castle playground resided. All traces of the aging structure are gone from sight and the now bare ground is starting to grass over in unplanned patches. I remember all too well how this was the place Henry preferred to meet Emma during those first few weeks. And contrary to what my son probably still believes I did not wreck his castle as an excuse to demolish it entirely.

I admit that I wanted to crush the small wooden castle when I saw those first pictures Sidney brought me of Emma and Henry together at this very place behind my back. But all that's in the past now and with both the windows of my car rolled down the wind off the ocean carries with it a brisk tang on the air I breathe. I considered getting out and going for a walk but after sitting in my car for the last fifteen minutes I've decided that I'm comfortable. And I'm content to just sit here for a while longer and watch the horizon. The sky isn't really blue but water is wet.

The sound of the wind on the water is soothing in a fashion so I close my eyes and lean my head back against the headrest. I have no idea of what I'm supposed to do with my life now. I suppose I can keep being Mayor because no one else has tried to take it from me, but then what. I can't see the future but I do know that I don't see myself staying here until the day I actually die and stay dead. In fact I already believe that when Henry's grown it would be for the best if I leave this place. So many new worries preside over my thoughts these days.

I take a deep breath but then my eyes spring open as a sharp knock on the roof of my car startles me for a second, and then the passenger door opens and a dark-haired woman slips inside without a word. The next thing has apparently arrived and I'm at a loss if I should summon my magic. I've never dared to use magic in such close quarters and furthermore a fireball, magical or not, isn't a smart move in a vehicle filled with gasoline. I prefer to never check out of this world in a literal blaze of glory.

"What do you think you're doing or are you even thinking at all?"

The woman ignores my words and she simply shuts the door, without slamming it. Then she turns her head and the long, wavy flowing curtain of dark brown hair moves just enough for me to see her violet and amber streaked eyes.

"You again?"

The woman smiles and then winks at me, "You missed me. Don't deny it. I have a sense for unspoken thoughts as you should know by now, Mills."

The last time I saw Strife she was a he, but this time it's the dark hair that's the biggest difference in place of the silvery-ashen grey hair color I've become accustomed to instead of a superimposed gender modification.

I roll my eyes, "What is it now?"

"Oh don't worry this is the last time I'll bother you, Mills."

"You bother me alright."

"Good." Strife said while brushing her hands down the front of her open coat. "Because that's exactly what I was aiming for and I never miss."

I scoff, "You said you were going to wipe my memories again that night at my house. Although, I can't recall every damn detail concerning what happened during your last visit to my home I do remember enough. Mostly you and you were wearing your more masculine window dressing."

"That was my intention." Strife said while shifting in the passenger seat and the supple leather barely acknowledges her weight. "I treated your memories, not Emma's, as though you'd been on one hell of an alcohol fueled bender. I needed your memories fuzzy, not entirely on the fritz. Poor Emma will never remember seeing me that night though."

"How convenient."

Strife chuckles and its then I assess how it has chosen to present itself this time. In place of the tall masculine frame, it's reverted back to a taller than average female and she's at least 5' 9''. The being beside me is wearing a long black wool coat that hangs perfectly; in fact the swallow tail cut of the coat's end is touching the floor of my car. The coat has white satin lining from what I can discern and she's wearing a simple white button up shirt. My eyes then track down over long, slim legs that are covered in fitting black pants with delicate looking black floral lace just above the knees. The whole visage is rather modern Victorian and the black pointy toed boots with a small heel completes the look.

"I'm glad you approve of my clothing choices again." Strife said and I glare at her on reflex. "I'm rather disappointed though that you think my shirt is simple though. It was inspired by the Regina Mills collection, minus of course how many buttons you choose to use or not use as it were."

I exhale loudly through clenched teeth, "Why are you here...again?"

Strife twists in her seat and turns towards me, "I had always planned on seeing you once more after you honored your first love by laying his remains to rest. I commend you for not burying him. I've always found that practice to be barbaric frankly."

"How so?"

"Think about it...would you like to be planted in the ground as though you were a sapling needing to put down roots? It's a body, an empty vessel, organic matter that will lay in the ground and rot."

I agree to an extent about putting a body in the ground, that's why I could never bring myself to do that to him. The headstones I left in my home realm where no more than monuments; symbols to mark the earth and nothing more, after all, the ground beneath held nothing of them that I could truly keep.

"How have you been, Regina?"

"You should know without having to ask. But I do appreciate why you're asking."

Strife smirks, "I see you've evolved some more since I saw you last."

"Are you certain you're not really some twisted patron saint of lost causes?"

Strife grins and it creates temporary lines at the corners of her eye, "I'm no saint, Mills. I've never been mortal and my purpose isn't a one-way street. I happen to enjoy the flaws of all creation. And I did tell you once during our time in my realm that if you ever lost your fire, so to speak, that it would be a true tragedy in my opinion."

I turn my head and chuckle while loosely grasping the steering wheel of my car, "I know that there are people in this town that would disagree with you, vehemently."

"Who cares what they think? What right do they have? You are your own person and that includes all the dark corners." Strife said and I turn my head to see her looking out through the windshield. The waves have small white caps on top of the watered down blue. "You wouldn't be you without all you've endured; the few and far between good things and the all too plentiful less than good that's happened in your life. And besides you'll finally change the all the denizens of Storybrooke's minds soon enough."

"What tender and enterprising words, dear. I feel as though I should make a wish since you sound like the fairy godmother I never had."

Strife snorts and I let go of the steering and turn in my seat enough to face her. The entity beside me has a classic profile and it's unlined and smoother to my eyes than no mortals face will ever be.

"Do you know what I wish for you, Mills?"

"What's that?"

Strife turns her head to look at me and those violet eyes are even more startling in daylight, "For you to realize that you can stop fighting to the near dead end for a happy ending."

"How the hell else was I supposed to get one?"

Strife smirks, "Let it come to you because the real work is recognizing it when you have it and then being smart enough to protect it. Oh, and I also wish for you to just forget about all the stupid fucking idiots that cross your path, because I promise you that they will trip and fall down all on their own eventually."

I suppose I should feel some shock about the language of this spiritual being but something tells me I shouldn't be, even though I can't recall any concrete details of what was no doubt my penance well spent in her realm.

"Regina, you and I both know that patience isn't a quality you possess but it wouldn't be utter shit creek if you just counted to ten like they teach in anger management instead." Strife said and I just stare at the open expression on her face. "Because by now I would think you've learned what happens when you go off all half-cocked, but full of fire that fire I love, and then all you get in the end is to lament on why it went balls and tits up."

I shake my head and grin in spite of a brief passing impulse to slap her, "You have quite an extensive foul vernacular at your disposal, dear."

"Naturally, where do you think you mortals got it from?" Strife said with a chuckle and I end up smiling. "You humans think everything you do is original but you couldn't be more mistaken."

I laugh, honestly laugh and it feels good to do it without worrying who might see me. I've rarely had the opportunity for something so easy and freeing as laughter. Though Rumpelstiltskin and even his cursed identity Gold found me amusing but I know now that was because I was always the joke and the punchline to him. It was deeply gratifying to send Gold packing with Emma's help that night weeks ago at the pawnshop.

"Gold can't hurt you anymore." Strife said and I stop laughing because she's reading my thoughts. I'd momentarily forgotten she does that. "No one can unless you willingly let them and the only reason people have a tendency to do that is because no one gets exactly the life they want."

A fresh sort of discomfort coupled with a twinge of anger runs through me. I've only really let one person hurt me in my life; my mother, while the rest of them took turns manipulating me at key moments.

"Regina, I came to see you today bearing gifts...so if you'll permit me?"

"Permit you to do what?"

"I want to give you one more memory from your time with me in my realm."

"Why? But more importantly how are you going to do that?"

Strife sighs, "I want to offer you a better memory than just the one where you were asked to lay Daniel's body to rest. And as for the how; you should recall that I've never touched you without your consent, yes?"

"How considerate of you to offer me something more pleasing." I said while looking up at the rearview mirror and getting a passing glance at my dark eyes staring back at me. "But at this point I'm not entirely certain what you've done to me and what you haven't. Touching included."

"Very well then, if you won't let me then I must extend the offer to you in another way." Strife said with a faint grin and then she turns completely sideways on the seat. "Kiss me."

"What?"

"Just a simple kiss, Mills. This is not a date and I'm not asking for some romantic tongue-lashing because you've shown me a good time. In fact I'd prefer not even the tiniest slip of tongue for this transaction."

I can feel my mouth hanging open and it takes a moment for me to get it back under control. Strangely enough there is no mocking expression on her face or any other signs of amusement at my expense now. I suspect now though that the tiny grin from a few moments ago was because she knew how I would react.

"Is it really that hard to believe, Regina? When you mortals put so much stock in a kiss, especially considering where you originally hail from?"

"No, I suppose not."

I don't know if I've really looked at her face closely but this time I'm going to. Unlike looking at a person you want to kiss or one that wants your affection there is no longing in those violet-amber eyes, no darkening, no rapid blinks. Her symmetrical face is perfect in ways that only highlight the fact she's not mortal, and her smooth skin has a tint to it. I move closer to her and I close my eyes and listen; there is no heartbeat but my own, and when my lips faintly graze her's there is no sharp intake of breath. So I lean in and press my lips completely against her's which feel as full as mine and then I gasp against her lips.

In no uncertain terms behind my closed eyelids I'm suddenly bombarded with a memory of Emma living with another blonde woman in Boston. They were happy but when Emma saw me there was an instant connection and despite my actions and words I did want Emma for myself. My first introduction to Emma Swan in my actual life deteriorated quickly and I was the cause of it, but in our fantasy meeting it wasn't confrontational but light, teasing and filled with anticipation. And fantasy or not I would never indulge in cheating but I don't think it would've taken much effort on my part to convince Emma to move on from her wholesome blonde girlfriend.

The overall feeling of satisfaction from that fantasy feels realistic on many levels; it feels like a life I could've had. My heart is pounding and I feel myself wanting to smile from the joy of it. I broke my own curse with True Love's kiss and I know that was only possible because I chose not to lie to my son about everything, and then I willingly chose to accompany him to face his origins head on and I won in the end. I chuckle when a flash of a memory from that fantasy replays the moment where the Emma Swan from that life in Boston wasn't Henry's birth mother, but she did look like the Emma Swan that I know.

I open my eyes and quickly pull away from the one-sided kiss, "I...What happens now?"

"Give Emma a chance if you actually want to because the force is as strong with her as it is with you." Strife said with a straight face while leaning away from me and I frown at her. "But for now how about you put your seatbelt on, safety first and all that, then start your car and by the time you've done all that I won't be sitting here bothering you anymore."

I roll my eyes and I try not to blink but it's like holding your breath though and you can only do that for so long. As I feign to even do so much as to start my car I see that sure enough the being that was sitting in the passenger seat is gone, but the memory of exactly who was sitting there remains. However, now there is someone else sitting in the seat and she looks stunned. I know I am too given what's happened in the last few minutes. I've clearly missed a step at some point.

"You kissed me." Emma said with wide sea-green eyes. "Why did you...but you pretty much said you didn't want me like that."

I hate being tricked and that's what has happened but it's not as though I can say anything contrary to my actions. There are only so many things I can say that won't make me appear as if the engine is running but nobody's behind the wheel? In short this can either become a very bad uncomfortable situation or it can be a good place to start again. I guess I should be thankful that Emma doesn't look as though I've committed something truly unforgiveable, that and she doesn't look like she wants to scrub her mouth out with a wire brush. In fact she appears to be rather amusingly shocked and her chin seems to want to disappear under the teal colored turtleneck she's wearing underneath her black pea coat.

"Emma, did you follow me again?"

"No, I said I wouldn't do that again and I meant it. I was doing my rounds and I spotted your car."

"Why are you in my car then?"

Emma blinks away whatever awkwardness she's apparently feeling and looks at me calmly while she pushes some of her long hair off over her shoulder.

"At first I was going to leave you alone but I thought I would at least stop and speak to you since I'm trying to be your friend here." Emma said as her attention meanders from me for a few seconds. "So I approached the driver's side and you looked like you were just taking a nap but when I touched your shoulder, or even when I said your name a few times you still didn't respond."

Emma quietly clears her throat and then looks down and fidgets with the sleeve of her coat, "So I went around to the passenger side, it was unlocked, so I got in and tried again. I even checked for a pulse because you were seriously starting to scare me; nothing I did was working, but then all of the sudden you were kissing me. It was kinda like sleeping beauty but in reverse; you know where the supposed comatose chick is the one leading the lip-locking."

I catch myself wanting to smile and laugh at Emma's idiotic words. It shouldn't be this easy but in the fantasy I now vividly recall it was that effortless given the circumstances or confines depending on how you perceive it. Perhaps, my fantasy self only allowed her feelings after it was proven that Emma Swan was no threat to her happiness. But regardless of the new perspective, my life now never will be that fantasy because the Emma Swan in my actual life is Henry's birth mother and nothing between us will ever be uncomplicated.

"Regina, what are you thinking about?"

"Lots of things, but nothing I want to talk about now."

"Okay."

I turn my head and look out at the faux blue horizon through the open window on my side. I feel Emma's eyes studying me or more accurately trying to read my mood. I'm surprised that she hasn't jumped out of the car as though she were fleeing a burning building. Of course thinking that brings me back to the fact that Emma did run out of a burning building only to run right back in to save me of all people.

The leather seat Emma's ass is perched on lets out a small rubbing sound and I turn my head back to see her leaning over the console to be closer to me, "What are you doing?"

Emma smiles, "I'm going to kiss you this time...unless you got a problem with that? You didn't exactly give me any warning before and I didn't get to enjoy it like I want to."

I start to say something caustic enough to keep her away from me but I change my mind when her hands tentatively cradle my cheeks. I try to keep my breathing shallow as Emma examines me so closely. I know she's waiting to see if I really want her affection, so I give her a sign, I close my eyes. I feel Emma's hands move faintly over my face, until both of her hands are resting just under my ears and then I feel the soft skin of her cheek against mine. Emma's breathing is rapid and steady and I feel her breath on my skin and it sends a ripple through me.

"I lied about...your magic. About how it was reacting to me because you are untrained."

"I know and it's okay." Emma said as she continues to tenderly hold me and breathe me in. "I picked a shit day to follow you to your underground lair. But just don't lie to me again, please?"

"I'll try."

"That's all I ask...for now."

I smile and I know Emma can feel it because I feel her answering smile against my neck. At this point I don't think I've ever longed for a kiss more and yet this is enough that is right up until the point I feel Emma press her lips to my cheek. My hands have been idle, an afterthought, but now they need a purpose. Blindly, I reach up and grasp Emma's arm and I feel the muscle through her coat. Emma scoots closer again and then her lips press into the corner of my mouth and I exhale roughly.

"Is this what you call a kiss, Miss Swan?"

Emma laughs and I open my eyes but all I see are her green eyes up close. Emma has irregular lines and bursts in her eyes that are blue and brown but green is the primary color.

"No, this is me touching you and this is what I call a kiss."

I close my eyes again as Emma's lips press onto mine with intent and intent is everything. My eyes are burning behind my eyelids. I'm crying only it's from an emotion that I've not felt nearly enough of. Happiness. The kiss isn't chaste but it also isn't unbridled lust which I'm grateful for. Emma hums against my lips and I take the opportunity to capture her lower lip between mine. The sound Emma makes tells me that in the not too distant future arousal is a definite possibility, because I know it is for me and that's something that I will have to become comfortable with.

"Regina." Emma said against my lips and I move back enough to break contact. "Your car sucks for making out in."

I scoff but I also smile, "I didn't acquire my car for this purpose but yes I see the design flaw."

Emma laughs and pulls back and as her hands leave me I feel their loss more than expected, which is perhaps why I cling to her arm longer than I should have. Emma doesn't seem to mind though.

"So..." Emma said drawing out a long pause and then she smiles. "Does this mean you like me more than you've let on?"

I clear my throat and reach for the ignition and start my car. The engine turns over on the first time. I have no reason to hide anymore, nothing left to hide behind and I can't decide if I should hold a grudge against Strife until my dying breath or send her a thank you card for saving me from myself. I won't be sending a card of course if it were at all possible.

"You like to project don't you, Emma." I said while hitting the button to roll up my windows because the breeze has a slight bite to it now. "And I still have a hair trigger impulse to berate you at any given moment. But so that there is no confusion; yes, I find you...tolerable."

Emma grins, "Ha! I'll happily take all that you can dish out so long as you keep calling me Emma."

"We'll see."

 

Time continues to move forward and so are the inhabitants of this curse created town. Somedays I pretend I don't notice the occasional harsh sideways looks from the denizens I exiled to this land along with myself, though I do find it funny that no one still has made any objections to me continuing to do my job as Mayor. I have no expectations on how long this place will hold together as the days go on. The restless part of me knows that there is no such thing as permanence. But a newly revived part of me that I haven't dared to name yet is steadily embracing this true chance for a fresh start; for however long it will last.

These last three weeks I've willingly chosen to see Emma as not only a potential ally, but as a friend and something more now. My old defense mechanisms or tools for survival would have dictated that the best course of action was to shove her as far away from me as possible. But I did the opposite and with each day I gradually feel a measure of guilt for the way I dismissed Emma on the day I vanished Daniel's remains. And it goes without saying Strife made sure it came back to nibble me in the ass. But I can't call Strife's actions as an all out lethal bite because its results have cost me nothing so far.

A firm knock on the frosted glass of my door interrupts my thoughts, "Enter."

"Mayor Mills, this just arrived for you." My part time assistant said while placing a small envelope on my desk and then she quickly retreats back the way she came.

For a few minutes I ignore the item sitting on my desk in favor of finishing my current task. After clicking my pen closed and tossing it to the side I reach for the pale green envelope which is unmarked save for my name printed on the front in elegant block print. Turning the letter over I see it's not sealed but rather the flap is just tucked in. I pull the flap of the envelope out and remove what appears to be a rather innocuous but trite looking card. The card itself is also in the same tone of pale green. I know this isn't something that is anywhere near the type of behavior I expect from Emma, and it certainly doesn't reek of Snow White's brand of heart stickers, unicorns and gag worthy rainbow brite goodness.

The front of the card is adorned with three violets tied up in a bundle with a purple ribbon, and directly next to the floral design is the phrase: 'Wishing you a beautiful day filled with all of the things that bring you joy.'

On second thought maybe this is Snow's first blunder in her attempt to try to kill me with kindness. The card automatically makes me want to kill it with fire and I haven't even opened the damn thing. I shake my head and with the afternoon sun streaming through behind me; warming my back, I frown and open the card. There are no other sickening messages on the inside of the card, instead the same precise block print is on the inside and after skimming over what the black ink spells out I actually start to read the message inside. I hadn't anticipated this but at the same time I'm in no way shocked. Someone apparently is still attuned to my thoughts.

The printed message reads: 'Our conversation wasn't pure fiction but it was a dream which is one of the ways for me to influence those I'm invested in. To put it plainly you needed a nudge, Mills. So stay mad at me or get over it. You do know that time isn't frozen anymore and I'm telling you that time is a wastin'. The Savior isn't the epitome of strength or goodness on her own. Better yet Mills you can be one hell of an anti-hero if you want. But when you and Emma are together, as equals, you are even stronger than you will ever be apart. Remember that if nothing else in the days ahead.'

I exhale deeply, close the card and chuckle. I'm almost tempted to keep the card but then again it could just be another temporary illusion, or more than likely something I would have to explain later should some other prying eyes decide to read it. So I summon up enough of my magic to burn the simple stock card in my fingertips. The edges turn black and begin to curl as the small flame grows and spreads. With the card burning in my hand I push away from my desk and walk over to the unlit fireplace in my office and cast the dwindling remains of the card upon the two small kindling logs in the hearth.

My life has changed again, only this time every choice so far has been mine. I've had enough time now to realize that even though I was urged to let go of Daniel completely it was still my choice. But the more I've tried to imagine what I went through, in what could only essentially be purgatory, the more I've realized that I obviously wanted to live because I'm not done yet. I don't know if I will encounter the spirit whose name means: 'conflict, discord and struggle' again while I'm still breathing. I smile because the moniker the spirit told me to call it is rather malleable in my mind and since it; she or he doesn't really apply, has been something I would say is closer to a guardian. I'd never thought that anyone was watching after me.

"Hey Regina."

At the sound of Emma's voice I nearly jump. Getting lost in your own thoughts can leave you open to unexpected things which include people. I can't say that I will ever speak to Emma about Strife, but then what is there to tell really?

"Sheriff Swan, shouldn't you be working or at least pretending to be?"

"Woo-hoo, you're all quick draw with the sassy humor and I've only been in the room a few seconds. Must be some kind of a record."

I turn away from the fireplace and move back towards my desk, "You're the one who informed me that you pretend to be Sheriff sometimes, dear."

Emma laughs and gracelessly plops down in one of the chairs in front of my desk. I grasp the back of my leather chair and swivel it to the side and sit down, as I turn towards my desk and roll myself closer to it I notice Emma leaning forward and placing a beverage cup on my desk's top.

"That had better not be coffee because I try to keep my caffeine intake to a single shot a day."

Emma chuckles, "It's completely unleaded and it's some kind of herbal tea. Ruby said it was your favorite and that the last time you were in the diner with Mary Margaret she ruined it by accident."

"I doubt that."

"Oh, come on Regina. Ruby told me it's not like she spit in it or anything that day because seriously how old would that make her?"

"Mid to late fifties, but with the mental capacity of a six year old?"

Emma unzips her official and now trademark red leather savior jacket and slouches back in her seat, "That's just mean."

I reach for the cup and take off the lid, "I'm simply calling it as I've come to see it, dear."

"Uh-huh."

I roll my eyes and sniff the drink before taking a small sip. Emma to her credit hasn't just put on blinders towards me even though things have changed between us. I'm thankful she doesn't see any need to pretend that our past isn't real anymore but at the same time she doesn't behave as though she's going to lord it over me. The tea is good and fairly close to the way I fix for myself at home.

"So..." Emma prompted and I look up over the rim of my cup at her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

In truth nothing is wrong but the one thing that I'm still getting used to. Emma is also grappling with the shift in how we interact now since the change between us. I believe that sometimes she's waiting for me to change my mind, but I'm not going to unless something happens that we can't come back from. When I take a chance on something or someone in this case I'm all in as the saying goes.

Emma shifts in her seat and grasps the chair handles with both hands, but then she moves them off and simply leans forward.

"This is new between us and I feel like I can read you pretty well, but I get the feeling that if I got up and came over there to give you a little kiss I might be on the receiving end of a not so friendly shove or even a light slap?"

"That's what you think?"

"Pretty much."

I put my tea down on the desk and lean back in my chair and cross my legs, "Well in that case perhaps you should test your theory Sheriff to see if you're misjudging things. You just might be reading me wrong."

Emma smirks and then rises out of her seat and moves around to the end of my desk. I swivel my chair around to meet her and I let my eyes roam over every inch of her, before I settle on those sea-green orbs that are looking back at me.

"You know it'll never be boring between us." Emma said as she leans down and places both hands on my chair's armrests. "You'll see to that with your need to wheedle me, and I'll hold up my end by calling bullshit when needed."

"And you think it's needed now do you, dear?"

"You asked and now that I'm standing here I don't think a little kiss is going to get the job done."

I smirk, "Well since you've worked so hard for it then I guess I can offer you something more after all."

Emma smiles and I close my eyes as her lips meet mine. Kissing her is always exciting, different and yet familiar. My heart rate speeds up as Emma increases the pressure, and unlike those first few times where I didn't know what to do with my hands, I reach up and bury them in her golden blonde hair. The texture of Emma's hair is fine but thick and the softness feels so good in the palm of my hand.

"Regina." Emma breathes against my lips. I dart my tongue out and lick her lower lip. "Oh, H-how far are we going today?"

"This far." I said and then I pull her back to my lips. "For now."

Emma groans and instead of keeping her at such an angle leaning down to me I uncross my legs and slowly stand up without sacrificing our contact. Emma's hands find my waist and I pull her flush against my body. I don't need the magic of True Love's kiss to prove anything to me because my magic is already reacting and with each kiss I'm willing to admit that getting lost with Emma Swan isn't the worst thing that could happen. My magic is never far from the surface and when it mingles with Emma's magic I feel it combine near my heart and it's a pleasant warmth that finds its target every time. Emma tilts her head to the side and further deepens our kiss and all the sense of worrying about the future seems silly to me in the here and now.

Unbeknownst to Regina, Emma and the other residents of Storybrooke an old red convertible with Minnesota plates is speeding along the road towards the town line and not far behind it is another car. A tan early 2000's model Chevrolet Impala is following close behind the classic car and behind the wheel of both cars is trouble. As both cars speed over the town line one right after the other the drivers and passengers of both vehicles laugh at their apparent success. All four people know exactly what Storybrooke is and their mission is to steal away a little boy named Henry.

In the same span of time Rumpelstiltskin stands at his vantage point hidden deep in the tree line near the town line and as the cars cross the line a smug smile begins to do a slow and rather demented waltz across his face.

-:::::::= END =:::::::-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soundtrack: "Clean" by Big Data feat. Jamie Lidell, "Tongues" by Joywave, "Kiss Me" by She Wants Revenge & "Through Glass" by Stone Sour
> 
> Supporting Characters (in order of appearance) that populated Regina's 'fantasies':  
> Aging Hipster on the Train...'Black Beard'  
> The Young Girl on the Train...'Lily'  
> Regina's Faithful Boyfriend...'Will Scarlet'  
> Regina's Cheating Husband...'Prince James a.k.a the Bad Twin'  
> The Cheating Redhead in the Shower...'Princess Aurora'  
> The Tall Gothic Man at the Condor Club...'Jack Skellington'  
> The Go-Go Dancer at the Condor Club/Regina's Girlfriend...'Marian'  
> Emma Swan's Roommate/Girlfriend...'Elsa' 
> 
> Closing Remarks: This story became more than I originally intended and I'm proud of that. I officially concocted this on May 30, 2015 but I didn't start posting it until several months later. Seeing this odd and not entirely straight forward journey through to the end took time and lots of self-motivation. I know some won't hesitate to point out that this isn't exactly a lengthy story, but I've never had any aspirations to become some long-winded wordsmith. 
> 
> To any grammar police paying close attention to this story; slow your roll and turn off your sirens. Why? Because over the years I've already had complaints ranging from being too grammatically correct, to using improper grammar in dialogue and other forms of nit-picking antics that's enough to make you go crazy. But more to the point I wrote this story the way I wanted and now it's over and done with. 
> 
> Finally, if you (the reader) are one of the few people who had faith/supported me from the beginning of this, Thank You. But if you (the reader and any in the future) made it this far and hated it may I remind you that it's free, nobody had a gun to your head and stating any negative grievances isn't something that I'm in need of.


End file.
